WTH?

So just when I think I'm doing pretty alright in the dating scene, some idiot makes me remember that this dating ish is for the birds. So dude calls me...

Idiot - So do you remember me
Me - Uh yeah, it was just a couple days ago
Idiot - Well you was looking good that night so you prolly gave your number out to more than just me
Me - Nah, I don't give my number out like that
Idiot - Well I told you not to give your number out to anyone else that night anyway
Me - Oh really (I'm thinking I only had 2 drinks so I wasn't drunk and I don't remember that at all, because I probably would have took my number right back out of his phone. How you gonna try to tell me what I better not do, nig you don't know me)
Idiot - So when are we going to hang out?
Me - Well I will be in and out of town for the next couple weeks so I don't know.
Idiot - Oh so you travel a lot so what are you a dancer or something, because with that body you could be a great dancer.
Me - (Rolling my eyes now because I'm past flattery and annoyed by the physical references) Are you trying to imply that I'm a stripper?
Idiot - Well with your body...
Me - Where the hell did that come from... because I said I will be traveling the first thing you think of is that I must be a stripper... (Thinking, Eb... calm down... dont crush him yet... its only been like 5 minutes... so let's see if he has a sense of humor... so I sarcastically say) nah, I'm not a stripper, I'm a pornstar.

DO YOU KNOW THIS NIG GOT ALL KINDA EXCITED!!!

Idiot - Whew that just really turned me on boo... I'm mean I am turned on fo' real right now.
Me - Well before you get too excited I was just playing... I will be out of town because I'm going on vacation and then I have a business trip.
Idiot - Well what type of business you do?
Me - Sports
Idiot - Well what exactly?
Me - Don't really feel like explaining all that right now, so what do you do?
Idiot - Oh well me and my brother own a beauty supply store, cuz you know we from the streets and its hard out here
Me - (1st thought, I can get the hook-up on weave, cuz it's expensive, then I remember that last line... what did that mean, that he's been in jail, that it was opened with drug money, maybe they sell drugs out of the hair store and its just decoy) Ok
Idiot - So when you trying to get up for real because I am really trying to see you. I live in jersey like right over the bridge so it aint nothin to get here.
Me - Well I'm gonna be pretty busy this week since I will be going out of town so definitely not this week.
Idiot - Ok well I'll keep calling you then at least so we can get to know each other on the conversation level.
Me - Uuuuhhh, alright well I gotta go do something real quick
Idiot - Ok, its all good, I don't want to keep, you I'm a holla at you alright?
Me - Bye

WHY ME? WHY ME? HE SEEMED SO SANE OUT THAT NIGHT, MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION THERE BEFORE I GAVE HIM MY NUMBER. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M A LAME CHICK, WHERE THIS WOULD BE EXCEPTABLE, WHERE GHETTO DUDES FEEL THAT I WOULD GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY. PLEASE LET ME KNOW BLOG WORLD IF I GIVE THAT OFF SO THAT I CAN TRY AND CHANGE UP MY SWAG BECAUSE THAT CONVERSATION KILLED AT LEAST 5 OF MY BRAIN CELLS FOR EVERY MINUTE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH DUDE.

29 comments

Koffee Dyme January 30, 2008 at 10:45 PM

LMAO.. see girl thats what i'm talking about....

I don't think it had anything to do with "lame chick" Dudes nowadays they wear some type of mask until u start getting to know them the real deal comes out... girl don't feel so bad at least you found out before yall hang out.....

Caesar Cannon January 31, 2008 at 12:33 AM

Every man can't be a Mr. Perfect(Caesar Cannon, for those who don't know), and even Mr. Perfect comes off as a hopeless romantic some of the time! There are some good brothas out there. just stay focussed and keep doing you. I'm sure you'll find him.

Smarty Jones January 31, 2008 at 1:01 AM

This just proves my point. I am goijng to start treating dudes the way they treat us. That way you can't get hurt.
But a quick word of advice, when you meet someone, go into it with NO expectations, That way there are no surprises.

Diva (in Demand) January 31, 2008 at 1:11 AM

I know I'm wrong for laughing but that was funny as hell! So from now on, what do you do is going to be in the initial conversation right?

Honeywell January 31, 2008 at 1:15 AM

I cannot believe that the fool actually got excited when he thought you were a stripper.... I don't think its any vibe you give off..... Fools like beautiful things just like any normal person does....

On The Writer's Block January 31, 2008 at 2:43 AM

That's really unfortunate that this experience happened to you. It's sad alot of women go through similar if not the same kind of experience. I can't call about your "swaggerific" style or anything, but there are alot of messed up brothers out there; at the same time, there are alot of great ones as well.

So I can't imagine it'd be long before you met your king...

Skoolboi Krush January 31, 2008 at 6:27 AM

What exactly made you give this dude the number anyway? I can't imagine he said something creative when you first met him.

Eb the Celeb January 31, 2008 at 7:59 AM

MORE INFO>>> HOPE THIS ANSWERS EVERYONE'S QUESTIONS....

So first and foremost the party was for the cast of the Wire so I should have expected a whole lot of hoodlums were going to be in there, but their weren't. It was an upscale spot so most of the men were suited up. That night it was like 15 degrees outside... when we arrived the line was crazy and I had no pull at this spot. We had been standing in line for an hour, freezing, I couldn't even feel my feet, and raggedy broads kept cutting the line so it wasn't getting any shorter. So I said bump this... I'm cutting too... So I cut right to the front... and it was in front of this guy (idiot). So we started talking... and he seemed cool then but maybe I was going threw hyperthermia and wasn't really paying attention. But when we got inside he invited us to come check him. That it was his brothers birthday and they were getting a table. I would have considered it if we weren't already meeting some other guys who had a table. When he was leaving I happened to be at the coach check and that's when we exchanged numbers. I mean I didn't want to give him my number because he's lighter than I like my men to be but I am trying to expand my horizons a little bit in 08 so I said hey why not. Its the least I can do since he let me cut him in the rigid weather.

For the record I am not looking for the "one." I go out to these events to have a good time, to mingle, have a drink, network a little, never go to these spots looking for a man but you know men approach you. I just have the luck of having these be the types.

@Diva - yes you are dead wrong for laughing but if it was someone else I would be laughing too... I am too annoyed though. It is too much to ask for some sensible conversation. I'm not even sweating it though because I do have a special friend I'm feeling a little bit right now, but he ain't my whole world. Its too early right now, so I would like to mingle with a little something that has more than 2 braincells.

Keelah January 31, 2008 at 10:09 AM

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA! Hilarious! Dude had nerve!

Ticia January 31, 2008 at 10:50 AM

Umm.....

You should have hung up a long time ago----

LOLOLOLOLOL---

Don January 31, 2008 at 10:58 AM

You have never given me that impression.

You appear to be someone who is straight up with hers. And not willing to accept just anything.

I think dude just didn't know how to come @ you. Just because he didn't, it doesn't mean that you are whatever it was he thought you were. He probably was drunk or high.

Maybe you are too nice to men.

Don January 31, 2008 at 11:01 AM

I'm thinking you sould have came with some Teedra Moses...

You Better Tell Him. lol.

Some of these dudes are b*tches too.

Ms. Behaving January 31, 2008 at 11:59 AM

LOL. Girl...Why does this NOT surprise me?!?!?!

magnoliapeach January 31, 2008 at 12:04 PM

LOL, sorry girl, but I had to laugh, his conversation sounded like something my younger brother would spit.

spchrist January 31, 2008 at 12:35 PM

that was a bit extra...I apologize on behalf of the good brothers still out there.

Divine Blackness January 31, 2008 at 1:09 PM

That's just too much. I was dyin' laughin'.....awww, spchrist. How niiice!

Miss B January 31, 2008 at 1:11 PM

BOO!!! He is stuuupid!! and why he had to add that extra b/c its hard on the streets or whatever...he's a fool!!

Ms. Wright (Hunnie) January 31, 2008 at 1:48 PM

LMAO! I BET he got off the phone thinking the conversation was good too.

Clown.

Don't be discouraged..you gotta go through a few of those before something worthwhile finds you..just keep weeding them out.

Opinionated Diva January 31, 2008 at 3:49 PM

lol...oh, and you can better believe he is going to "keep calling you". I'm sure there will be an update. lol

Jewells January 31, 2008 at 9:41 PM

Hilarious. I'm mad @ dude for implying that you are a stipper just because you travel. My phone would've gone dead.

Ms.Lady February 1, 2008 at 1:41 AM

Aww DAYUM!!!
You KNOW he's calling you back right??
Oh Ok..just thought Id give you a heads up before you answer the phone...lol.

dc_speaks February 1, 2008 at 12:38 PM

ok. since I know nothing about you and im a new reader, I'd have to say that you probably stayed on the phone longer just to see if he was pulling your leg. You were probably waiting for the "im just jokin'" line to fly outta his mouth.

As for the rest of the post, it was a great bit of humor for me since I have witnessed lame dudes tryna holla at womens at the club tundreds of times.

The post was great. thanks for sharing the experience.

you seem cool as a fan.

Peace!

Eb the Celeb February 1, 2008 at 5:21 PM

@Ms. lady - 2 times already... Sent him straight to VM

@DC - I honestly didn't think he was serious at first. Who makes that many sexual references within the first 2 minutes. I thought for sure I was getting punk'd but it just got worse...

and I would like to think so... that I'm cool as a fan that is...

G-Sweet February 1, 2008 at 5:26 PM

yea dude was on some otha' ish... he went a lil far wit the "im turned on" comment.

lol @ "Eb... calm down... dont crush him yet..."... hahahaha!... i vote u shoulda crushed em.

idiots make for good entertainment.

p.s. the new pic is official... i like the purple!

Karrie B. February 1, 2008 at 6:27 PM

eb...that guy is a sleeze ball. but maybe it was the 2 drinks, i know when i'm sauced my judgement is SLIGHTLY impaired...lol @ the pornstar reference, sounds like somethin i would say for shits 'n giggles.

-karrie b.

Case Quarter February 2, 2008 at 11:12 PM

you know crazy is a lot more common than people think...i see it all the time with people that you would NEVER think were crazy...but now they're really smart with it....they hide it very well....we gotta be on the lookout!!

Cmon Screaming MiMi! February 21, 2008 at 1:54 PM

LOL! Thats how they are girl---dumb as a doorknob but think they deserve the best:)

Blogger November 17, 2016 at 10:22 PM

I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

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