2008 sex journey thus far...

"Masterpiece of MINIMALISM"

Yes yet another quote from my fav movie Love Jones. It truly does have a quote for every aspect of my life. Even though he was referring to the writing of his book... the phrase is everything that my sex life is right now.

I don't know why but I felt compelled to clean house at the end of January and did away with my jump-off. Got 2 good sessions out of him in January before I did though. All of February I was good (I mean it is the shortest month of the year...lol) so I didn't even have sex on the brain. I felt liberated even, that I had released all dickmotization from my brain. It also helped that I was traveling a lot that month on business and my huge hawaii vacation so I was kept busy enough to not even really remember that I hadn't been getting any.

Then March comes around and an old skool fling pops into town. Of course he calls and I oblige and for some reason it was NOT good. I was too mad. Me and him have always had a chemistry in the bedroom. On a more serious note, that's the only place we do have chemistry. He's a cat I went to HS with and ever since college when I came home on holidays we had made an appoint to link up. After that last go round though, I think it may be time to leave that fling alone. I seriously think I have outgrown what he has to offer.

Then when Semipro came to town... and straight left me with the female blue balls... ya'll remember... it was the first fact or fiction, the story that brought about the whole series. Well I have been horny as hell ever since. You saw the toy I bought, and although it is quite the gadget (especially the sucking mechanism) to have around when I am in diastrase (sp)


African American Profile Graphics SoulCityGraphics.com

The penetration of it, the pain of it, the bliss of it, the ecstasy of it, the hawtness of it, the 2 bodies becoming one, and even though I am not fond of it I am even yearning for the sweat of it, the flowing of all the juices, the "damn that was good" feeling, the Halle Berry "make me feel good" aspect of it. African American Profile Graphics SoulCityGraphics.com

The him doing everything in his power to make me make a noise (yes I am one of them who refuse to give a man that satisfaction until he is really giving me the bizness, ain't one for all that moaning for no reason mess), the him making me feel like a man aspect of it and telling me to "toot that thang up." The sensuous rollercoaster aspect of it, the movement, the rhythm, that Nina Mosley "his dick just talked to me" kinda feelin'. And of course the feeling of being too damn tired to get up and wipe the sweat and juices off so he just falls asleep between my legs.
African American Profile Graphics SoulCityGraphics.com

Coming off that high (just the thought may have me bringing the toy out again tonight), now I'm back to reality which leaves a total of 3 sexual encounters (one of which was terrible) In the last 4.5 months. I swear if Semipro don't give me the bizness when he gets here next week, I am going to explode! (Did I mention he was in town for 48 hours this past weekend, but since I had people in town and he had to work, we didn't get a chance to link up...UGH!) Honestly, I don't understand why I am feenin' so much either. Last year after I broke up with my BF in April, I went on a sabbatical. I was happy not having sex. I went all summer just dating and having a grand ol' time without even the urge to have sex. Didn't get back into the groove until the Fall and wasn't even pressed when I did get me some. So why the heck am I feenin' now? I have no idea... but I know if that boy don't give me the bizness, I'm just gon take it. I can see the headline now "Eb the Celeb demands d*ck from Semipro and when he acts bashful she takes it." She is now being held for 1 million dollars bond for aggressive forces to genitilia, excessive riding, forcing entry, and 3rd degree rape.
You can label me guilty as charged right now, and hell yeah I would be cheezin' in my mugshot because as least I got me some!


Jadore.Tokeyo April 17, 2008 at 9:57 AM

"that Nina Mosley "his dick just talked to me" kinda feelin'. "

wow girlie...you just reminded me of how horny i really was. it's been about 2.5 months. i know the feeling!!

lol @ mugshot

Ticia April 17, 2008 at 10:14 AM

You are a for real fewl! For real :)

anonymousnupe April 17, 2008 at 10:26 AM

'Cause it's spring!! All the animals are doin' it. It's in the air. The pheromones are everywhere! The female bunnies in my yard are hoppin’ round all bow-legged. And I could swear I heard in a little tiny voice, “You betta take this stinger, Queen bitch!” coming from the beehive hanging outside my window. Resistance is futile.

Just remember to post photos.

Anonymous April 17, 2008 at 10:40 AM

I know the feeling. It's been a minute for me and I can't take it. I'm about to lose my mind. I need a dude to blow my mind and vice verse.

BB April 17, 2008 at 11:41 AM

LOL!!! The pipe will have you acting like that!! It has to be the weather, I was pissed the other day when i saw some cats getting it on in the park. That's when I knew I had a problem. I hope you get it poppin soon!

Sass April 17, 2008 at 11:43 AM

i know they say girls periods sync up but i didn't know the same was true for being horny... i'm with you girl!! especially on that halle berry "make me feel good" i had to use the term the other day while i was expressing what i was in need of. *sigh*

K@LiENTe April 17, 2008 at 11:45 AM

LMAO it MUST be in the air because i am so frustrated and my LAST encounter was horrific...lol so needless to say I'm on strike! until i find someone who is worthy enough to satisfy me hehe, I'm tired of men not knowing how to lay it down!

K@LiENTe April 17, 2008 at 11:46 AM

On the real tip tho' I'm mad all of us feel the same way! LOL what's wrong with them???

Anonymous April 17, 2008 at 11:55 AM

wow... thats all i have to say. lol

anonymousnupe April 17, 2008 at 12:20 PM

All who have been dissatisfied in the past, y'all need to hook up with a Nupe, one whose been through "The Academy." Don't tell the brothers where you heard the terminology (I could lose my cards). Just find yourself a Nupe you consider aesthetically bedable, and when the conversation lends itself ask him, "So, lemme axe you, Kappa Man: Did you make it through (and moisten your lips and squint real sexy at him when you utter it)...'The Academy'"? If he grins slyly, knowingly and says, "Girl, you betta strap it up!" then Nirvana is yours for the asking.

Kieya April 17, 2008 at 12:22 PM

LOL u are too much

seriously though...sometimes u do just have to take it if they won't give it up lol.

but it seems like you've outgrown that other dude from hs, hey man, shit happens & its time to move on. :-)

12kyle April 17, 2008 at 1:37 PM

For your sake...I hope SemiPro doesn't give you the PM (aka Pitiful Meat). LMAO

Evolution83 April 17, 2008 at 2:12 PM

First off, I absolutely adore "masterpiece of minimalism". Second, I almost died a million tiny deaths with "And of course the feeling of being too damn tired to get up and wipe the sweat and juices off so he just falls asleep between my legs." Whew, lawd gal I just dont know what to say, I love that feeling.

Im sorry you havent gotten any, and I hope you and semipro get it down real good. Me? Um, yea last week. Umm, sorry.

The Jaded NYer April 17, 2008 at 3:47 PM

It's the weather, girl... it's only gonna get worse if Semipro doesn't cum correct (that's right, I said it).

And I'm LOVING your mug shot... at least you got you some is RIGHT! Go ahead and take a lil extra for me, too LOL

Anonymous April 17, 2008 at 4:14 PM

dont go to jail homie lol. I hope the homie got his stamina up cause if not I feel for that bruh

The F$%K it List April 17, 2008 at 4:52 PM

SPRING DOLL! It's gets you all ready to mate and then this happens.

After Semipro wanted to go to sleep you are going to have to invest in that liquid crack (Redbull, YUCK)to make sure he is at attention.

E. Christian Wallace April 17, 2008 at 4:58 PM

Hmmm..I hope it works out. I feel your pain though. I'm in a bit of a damn slump as well.

Chris April 17, 2008 at 5:55 PM

I almost feel bad for dude because when he finally decides to hook it up, he's gonna be out of breath like R. Kelly at a debutante ball. Then again, I actually envy him. Get it done, Semipro.

E. Christian Wallace April 17, 2008 at 6:00 PM

Also...will you be utilizing the stopwatch?

One Man’s Opinion April 17, 2008 at 6:10 PM

Disturbed by the sex toy! Disturbed by the sex toy! Disturbed by the female Blue Balls, Disturbed by the Female Blue Balls. Thank you for validating the fact that I believe that women think about sex as much, if not more as men do. I know you women were not all about love and emotion. Some of you just care about the dick. Oh, my. I am so ashamed about using the word “dick”.
Oh, and for the record. I never saw Poetic Justice. Good scene. Very real! Your ass have sex on the brain, huh? LOL

Da Vinci The Verbal Arteest April 17, 2008 at 6:35 PM

I'm mad that you THINK you'd be smiling in your mug shot. I hope that you get some soon because this is a problem ma on the real lol.

Ma'at April 17, 2008 at 7:08 PM

I thought I was going to have to take some this morning, and then I remembered that the man in my bed can easily toss me won't hesitate to if I try to Debo the penis.... I went to work angry lol so I can feel your pain.

PS: Thanks for the love on Raw

Mel April 17, 2008 at 7:26 PM

Dang it Eb. You just had to talk about this today didn't you? Hmph! You ain't right... lol

And yup I will be headed up your way. I'm excited. I haven't been to NYC in 5 months.

Smitty April 17, 2008 at 7:52 PM

Damn......I never really hear horney-ness from a females perspective. Very interesting. You just need to get your back torn out one good time then you'll be good.

PRO April 17, 2008 at 7:55 PM

If you do get locked up ask them to do so in an all male facility. Although the other facility would welcome you with open legs... I meant arms.

James Tubman April 17, 2008 at 8:35 PM

so what's better

having sex with someone you are in a commited relationship with

or having random acts of meaningless sex with random men and foreign objects lol

Eb the Celeb April 17, 2008 at 10:04 PM

@ All the women who aint getting none like me... why is it so damn hard...ugh, to have some quality regular d*ck these days... i seriously dont understand.

@12kyle - if he has the PM... with all that sexiness about him... and the fact that I already know he packing... I'm turning into a lesbian... best believe it

@E. Christian Wallace - Nawl... aint got time for no damn stop watch... I just want the bizness in the ultimate kind of way...dont even care how long or short it is as long as its the bizness that makes me tingle all over for the 3 or 30 minutes I'm good

@One man - why are you disturbed... and yes you should know by now that Eb the Celeb keeps it real. I mean I'm not like this all the time... I am content most of the time... but when I want me some, I want me some and cant think of anything else until I get me some... I am at that point.

@TUBS - dont be coming over here trying to analyze ish... take the post as it is. and for the record... Semipro aint no random d*ck! We have been talking for like 5 months now if you have been reading... go back to the archives...so best belief it aint going to be meaningless... I actually admitted recently that I do like Semipro. I was trying to fight it because he has a daughter but I finally admitted to myself that you dont talk on the phone with someone almost everyday to someone that you dont like. So shut it... dont be coming to RBW starting trouble cuz I am horny as all hell and I will knock yo ass out right threw the cyber lines. WORD TO THE ALMIGHTY WISE ONE... DONT MESS WITH A CHICK THAT AINT GOT NO DICK IN A WHILE! HMPF!

allienicole April 18, 2008 at 12:11 AM

LMAO i feel ya rbw a horny broad will ...

if i may?

1: punch ya in the breassstttt
2: in the chest??
1: nigga yessss!

what classic song are those lyrics from??

Ms. Behaving April 18, 2008 at 12:20 AM

Awwwwww Dayuuummmm [LOL]
I sure hope homeboy delivers!!!

*Chassidy* April 18, 2008 at 12:31 AM

I just read what your wrote on my blog... yeah... I'm really...really wanting some...NOW!!

edmo April 18, 2008 at 2:37 AM

you have made my morning..
I sincerely hope that SemiPro still understands your body language as he did in "Fact-or-Fiction" [i loved that post, and this one even more]

infact i am sending this to GirlFriend...

For both your sake, and redeeming your faith in Man(d**k) Kind, i hope he represents, and makes you sweat....
Dedicating the song "work_it" by Missy Elliot to start off with ending with Jodeci's "FreakinYou"

Nuff Sed..


Mizrepresent April 18, 2008 at 11:19 AM

lol, i ain't mad at you Eb, sometimes you just got to put your foot down and go for what you know...hope it's a good time!

kayellejaye April 18, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Too funny!

I can sooo relate to this. I call myself trying to be celibate and seeing how long I can go. 5 months and counting. I think my time might be up. I don't know if it's the weather or the hot piece of ass I met last week, but mama needs it.

DollFace April 18, 2008 at 1:45 PM

LOLOL. I think most can relate to this...which is why I need a boyfriend so that i can have D.O.D.

Good luck!

Smarty Jones April 18, 2008 at 2:10 PM

Eb, you's a FOOL, in ALL CAPS. And ya'll are some punks.
A couple o' months and you're about to lose your minds? I went 4 years and a couple days a while back. Granted it was torture the first year but I had the chance to clear my head, so much so that when I did go back at the end of '05, it was like being a virgin all over again. And Mannnnnnnnnnnnn, 2006 was a GOOD year.
But nah, I feel you though. Anyway, you are feeling some kinda way because your boy woke it up. You were fine as long as it was laying dormant but when your boy came/comes around it's totally different. And girllllllllll, you got the FEVER!!!
Good luck on that one. My suggestion - an ice bath!

G-Sweet April 18, 2008 at 3:47 PM

*crackin up* @ 12kyle and "PM".... ahahahahahaha...

Sooooo... Eb, is ur 20 minute rule still in affect or is this a special case where the amount of time alotted is increased and the sweat is ok?

And why are all these lovely ladies SO (what I like to call) "Reaaaaddddyyyy!"... its not that hard for you ladies, all u gotta do is dial 510.677...........

As much as it pains me to say so... ummmm yea this semipro cat needs to knock a few vertebres' loose 1 time so u can get ya mind right....

Mel April 18, 2008 at 10:09 PM

I can't answer the question. I could get it if I wanted to, but it's not local dick. Can't be driving far for that. Not now anyway... lol

Brittany April 18, 2008 at 10:23 PM

I agree with everyone else. Maybe its the weather. But it mainly happens in the winter when people try to be locked down in relationships.

Anonymous April 20, 2008 at 2:18 PM

Ooohweee, I showl hope you get some soon!

soumynona April 23, 2008 at 12:12 PM

This is some funny ISH!! I am convinced everyone in the world is a comedian

yummy411 April 25, 2008 at 2:57 PM

abandoning this blog asap... not good for the single soul HAHAHHAHAA!

dayum! xp

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