SOUL MATE VS. PLAYMATE

I received this in an email and felt compared to share it with my RBW family... enjoy and be enlighted. (Sorry it didn't say who wrote it... so I can't credit the great mind that put this down on paper)

In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a Playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a hard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make a Soul mate out of a Playmate.
The danger of this is that later, after years of playing we will meet out Soul mate, but it may be too late then. We may have already made a Life mate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.) Or we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves to be anyone anything. How can we distinguish between the One, and just another one?
First, we must be open with ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind. Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole.
In order to find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. And is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be he? What about that friend who is always willing to go the extra mile for you when no one else will.
Oh no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy, got too many kids, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me! Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me! So what if he or she doesn't look like Denzel Washington or Halle Berry! He or she is going to treat you like the jewel that you are.
Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty Playmates out there to occupy your time. but don't spend too much time playing or you may play your life away. Eventually the playing loses it 's appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate.

29 comments

Mizrepresent April 3, 2008 at 1:50 PM

Let me be the first to say, i want the soulmate...but it's recess time for me, just got back out on the playground, so i'm gonna play for a little while. :)

D'lee Trecia April 3, 2008 at 2:45 PM

Great Post. @ 22, y'all say my ass is too young for this and that. Well too dang bad my soul been acting old. I ain't got time for the playmate. He just never good enough so i got out of that one.

Yes Thanks to the lord, the what I want is starting to make 100% sense.

Demon Hunter April 3, 2008 at 2:55 PM

Eb,
I finally stopped lurking and decided to comment...lol.

I definitely am a soul mate, and I've already found mine! ;*) There's nothing like it, girl.

Homer is My Co-pilot April 3, 2008 at 3:12 PM

play on playa... lol I swear I got this same email a while back. It's words ring true though.

TravelDiva April 3, 2008 at 3:52 PM

Interesting post. I think a lot of folks do settle on a playmate or try to turn them into a soul mate.

dessex April 3, 2008 at 3:57 PM

I went through a stage of fallin for a playmate. It was probably one of the wrost relationship I've been in. people fall for the playmate because we are afriad to find out that there is actually a soulmate out there for us.

soumynona April 3, 2008 at 4:17 PM

LMAO @ Miz rep
I think there are soulmate(s) for everyone but sometimes we miss them when they are right before our eyes because we dont even know what we want. Seems like you are ready for a deep connection, does 'semipro' know that you aren't Playing? I mean it hurts to see you go but if it makes you happy (walks away like Humphrey Bogart to hide the tear)... 8.( ...(btw Soumy got mad game, LOL)

Afrodite April 3, 2008 at 4:29 PM

I want to be done with these playmates because it rings true, they usually end up going nowhere...fast.

Still looking for my soulmate...

The Jaded NYer April 3, 2008 at 4:59 PM

That was nice...

I don't believe in the "soulmate" per se, but if he exists, I must be right around the corner from him; earlier this year I sent around "Dear John" letters to my playmates 'cause I was too through with them. And I have to say, it feels pretty good :)

Enchantress April 3, 2008 at 5:15 PM

Well said...and I'm so glad I found mine. :)

karrie b. April 3, 2008 at 5:30 PM

i'd like to think i have more than 1 soulmates out their.

-KB

Desy April 3, 2008 at 6:10 PM

well, we all know what playground i'm on, so i'm think i'm cool...lol

FREEDOM April 3, 2008 at 7:12 PM

This post rings so true to me. After being married and now divorced. I had done as this post alleged. I tried to turn a “playmate” into a Soul mate or rather a “hoe” into a husband lol.

Thank God for New Beginnings!!!

Still_Pocahontaz April 3, 2008 at 7:27 PM

::raises hand:: I found my soulmate ::crickets::

eclectik April 3, 2008 at 8:48 PM

I dunno is soulmates exist.
you like who/what you like...I dunno if soul gotta do with anything

Playmate sounds childish

Too many labels...I just say be happy with who you got or get someone new.

...but Im single so lol

eclectik

Rich April 3, 2008 at 9:16 PM

soulmates/playmates -- if you pick the right person, they just might have a little of both.

MysTery April 3, 2008 at 9:18 PM

Good post! Thanks for sharing!

E. Christian Wallace April 3, 2008 at 9:53 PM

Hmmm..interesting post. I think I've been confroosed at times about the two, but at the moment..I'm on the same thing that mizrepresent is on.

Xavier Pierre Jr. April 3, 2008 at 10:49 PM

Serious stuff. I'm with Rich, the right person is both.

Peace and Love,

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)

PS: April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). I am PASSIONATE about this issue and I’m determined to do my part to help educate as many people as possible. Please join me in spreading the word. Sexual violence must stop!

Jermel April 4, 2008 at 10:08 AM

What's up fellow Aggie?

The follow up to this should be, "How do you resist the temptation of the playmates once you've found your soulmate?"

Southern_Lady April 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM

I'm sttuggling with this myself. I don't want to pass up the soulmate for the playmate. Damn that superficiality!

Southern_Lady April 4, 2008 at 11:15 AM

I'm sttuggling with this myself. I don't want to pass up the soulmate for the playmate. Damn that superficiality!

edmo April 4, 2008 at 11:24 AM

I'm with you on the confusion part...
Time helps figure out the difference tho'
Playing Too Hard huh!
Nice post Eb..
i like.

Jewells April 4, 2008 at 11:37 AM

I don't believe in soulmates. Just believe in the right fit. Someone who completes me completely.

This is a good article though. I totally agree.

K@LiENTe April 4, 2008 at 2:56 PM

Sigh, and this from a scorned woman...i can't say i believe in soulmates...not right now. I had a playmate who like many i THOUGHT was my soulmate, played house (big mistake) he left, came back (which I allowed) but only after he "tricked" me into thinking he realized he should have never left. ONLY to find out the only time he didn't cheat on me was when i was pregnant with our son. At this point i cannot stand him for what he has done to me because I KNOW i am a damn good woman. OH well, his loss i know Hopefully, eventually i will find the one that will love me for me and appreciate all i have to offer. I am steppin out the box with my next man..lol straight up!

Tia's Real Talk April 4, 2008 at 5:31 PM

Properly entitled!!! Wow..is this only what women think and care about? It is a striking resemblance to my blog. I would say great minds think alike but I would love to hear a male's feedback....


PS pretty page...I lost the desire after having my baby..I'll go to yours from time to time for inspiration...lol

1/3 of what I used to be April 5, 2008 at 3:32 PM

I know I'm only 21 but I definitely want a soulmate. Playmates play too many games that I'm realizing my emotional self just cant handle lol

For now I'm not looking. Just learning to love me so whenever I do get in a relationship I'm ready to deal with the ups and downs that come with it.

T.I.C. April 8, 2008 at 10:25 PM

I married a playmate 25yrs ago and she turned into a soulmate. She's been my lover,friend,confidante,the mother of my children.

I only meant just to wet my......feet. Lust turned to LOVE and I wouldn't change a thing.

cynicaloptimist April 22, 2008 at 10:34 PM

Great post! That's why I'm a complete advocate of being alone, content, and "complete" before trying to bring someone else in the picture. You get to know yourself that way.

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