The L Word... and a peak at my new toy!

OK... so I have no idea where all this came from in my head... probably because I have been running around in my apartment all weekend naked since Christmas day since I had it all to myself and that's rare. Usually I have to confine my birthday suit to my bedroom but this weekend I cleaned the living room naked, cleaned the bathroom naked, reorganized my room naked, and even washed the dishes naked (which I wouldn't recommend because if any water splashes up you get an overwhelming sensation)

Anywho... is there a word for women that have lesbian characteristics but aren't gay?

Like men, if they have gay tendencies but aren't gay they are considered metrosexual.

So is there a similar term for women but in a difference sense, because I am beyond no means butch (sorry if that's disrespectful to any lesbian RBW's reading), but there are some things that don't bother me that would probably bother other straight women.

1. I don't hesitate to join my boys when they go to the strip club and actually like tagging along. To me it ain't that big a deal. First of all I like to eat, and they always have the best food, especially wings at the strip club. I'm not pouting all night either. I'm having fun, I even tip. I mean if she does some impressive ish, like some crazy one hand flip into a split or some ish I know I can't do. I'm tipping... Hell you done impressed me. I remember one night me and the boys were out and Get me Bodied came on and that was when it had just came out so it was my new jam. So I got up to dance. I knew the whole video and a couple chicks came over and were dancing with me. We had our own little circle just like me and my girls do in a regular club. It didn't bother me that the chicks were damn near naked and we were all jamming. My boys got mad though and said the chicks were paying me more attention than them.

2. I dont have a problem with watching girl on girl porn. I actually think its quite amusing since I dont understand the lesbian mindset. Because lesbians only like women but they still like dick. Its like being a lesbian doesn't cut off your craving for dick. Otherwise why would they use strap ons. Which is the funniest thing ever to watch because their never rock hard like a real penis. Their kinda flimsy and you have to put in all this extra work to get it in. I mean I actually only like a dick to be 3/4 hard when it goes in because after about 3 pumps you can feel it grow inside you. Love that ish... sorry if that's a little TMI for some folks. But the strap on never grows! So basically lesbians like dick but not all the other aspects of the man.

I'm confused about the whole situation because I am strictly dickly and have no desire whatsoever to experience anything with a woman, but I hear women all the time talk down about men who go to strip clubs and watch porn, and was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me since I don't see anything wrong with either. So I really want to know if there is a term for women like me...so if anyone out there knows of one... please do share it so I can know that I'm not alone.

_________________________________________

Now another thing that having a house all to yourself will do is have you doing dumb ish to keep yourself amused...lol. So I've had the concept in my head ever since Beyonce's album dropped but didn't know if I really wanted to do it. I'm sure you've all heard Beyonce's song EGO... I had it playing in the RBW playlist for a while. If not here it goes...


So I came up with this idea... what if she said she has a huge dildo...lol. So I played around with some lyrics but I knew I had to do a parody video to go along with it. First task was to find a dildo... big enough to fit the lyrics... but not so big that I couldn't use it if need be later on. I mean really ain't no point in spending money on sex toys that you're only going to use for a parody. I mean this ain't no major TV network's budget this is Eb's budget. I think SNL might be giving me a call after this one though...oh and I had to put on a masquerade mask to protect the innocent. Can't have my mama stumbling upon me playing with a dildo all over the internet...lol. Enjoy!

66 comments

Tiffany S. Jones December 28, 2008 at 12:37 AM

First off, you're a damn fool for this parody!!! OMG, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
OK, as for the lesbian tendecies, I too think I have a few. First off, none of my female friends like sports, with the exception of your, of course.
In addition to that, I hate wearing dresses and dressing up period. I always have. Give me some jeans, a T-shirt and some sneakers and I'm good.
And I don't get as emotional as some of my female counterparts. I can't tell you the last time I cried or made a big deal about anything at all.
It's funny you should bring this up. I was working on a post about being a tomboy for next week.
I also watch The L Word on Showtime. I know that doesn't make me a lesbian, but I wonder how all this makes me look.

♥ Ms. Kendall ♥ December 28, 2008 at 12:52 AM

lol, I do the same 3 things and definaltey strictly a penis lover! Strip Clubs are fun, whenever the boys go I wanna be down too!
XoXo

Teems December 28, 2008 at 1:55 AM

I think I call under that category too. What ever it may be. I like the female strip clubs. Hate male strippers. I dont know about you. But I am not gay. Strange.

You crazy for that one but on to something. That song had a sexual undertone to begin with. When I first heard the begining I thought wtf....Sasha is on some next shhh.

Good one...See you on SNL Eb... lol

DrennaB December 28, 2008 at 2:38 AM

Perhaps I'm just up late...cleaning and watching "Girlfriends" but...

I'm right with you on both those points. I don't mind the strip club at ALL...I won't tip with my own money but if someone give some some money to tip them, I do what I gotta do. I've even had half a dance too (half b/c the other part went to someone else) and it didn't bother me at all. I'm so bougie though that if I'm going to go and actually pay the dancers some attention, they need to have some thickness like me! LOL!

As for the porn, I don't mind GonG either but I can't stand watching strap on action...it's not appealing to my eye.

So, youuuuu are not alone...I am herrrrrreeeee with you!

Muze December 28, 2008 at 3:18 AM

okay. LMAO!!

did you really say 'killing you with the head, and the veins on the side?'

lmmfao. i'm done.

you are retarded, officially.

i just, can't.

i was cracking up. whew.

anyhoo...

i don't like dildos. they freak me out. lol.

i'm also pretty sure Bey is talking about Jay's penis along with his ego. i'm totally convinced. lol.

Ego is my JAM though. loves it.

as far as the rest of your post... i don't have a problem with lady strip clubs or porn... but there's no particular fascination with it either.

Anonymous December 28, 2008 at 3:41 AM

LMAO!!! That was a funny vid. I like the remix. Send it to the radio stations and see can you get it played.

12kyle December 28, 2008 at 7:16 AM

Ohhhhhh lawd!!! LoL

Doing house chores nekkid? SMH

I don't think any of what you said means that you're a lesbian, tho. You just like somethings that lesbians like.

btw...if a dude has gay tendencies...then he's prolly gay. I dunno about a metrosexual. He's just gay. LoL. And if that's what he is then that's cool for him. I just don't think men put labels on stuff like that.

interesting post, sis!

Eb the Celeb December 28, 2008 at 7:37 AM

@Smarty - LOL... I dont even watch the L Word.. it just made for a catchy title to the post...and I'm so all over the place... I will throw on sneaks on some jeans and sweats in a hot second but I also love wearing dresses. I love getting all primped up and feelings sexy... but I hate wearing suits... so I'm so all over the place...

@Teems - I know right... when I first heard it I was like, what is really going on Bey?

@Miss BB - Ha... I dont watch GonG because its appealing, I watch because its hilarious... damn right comedy for me... especially when they coochie hump... I'm like what the hell are you feeling from 2 coochies rubbing together... LMAO... I crack up everytime I see that mess

@Muze - LMAO @ you catching that... whew... and yeah I already know I'm retarded...lol; Its crazy because that's the first dildo I ever bought... usually I just go for the vibrator... that gets the job done... but that big black thing turned me on a little when I first saw him, now I just gotta give him a name before I break him in...
ANY SUGGESTIONS?

@Tuot - I know but I wanted it to be something more sexy sounding... IDK... I was a tomboy growing up but grew out of that... I like some girlie girl things so tomboy doesn't really define the person I am now... I might have to just make up my own phrase of what it is since so many other RBW's feel me on it

@Honey D - lol... I dont know if you can say Dildo on the radio... lol... but that is a good idea... I would have to find the instrumental though and I been searching for that sucker everywhere with no luck.

@Kyle - See why you gotta be hating on the metrosexuals. Some men always like to be groomed, their clothes to fit, they like to shop, etc... but still like pussy... they dont have to be gay because they get mani's and pedi's.

Samson December 28, 2008 at 7:45 AM

can it even go in a 3/4 hardness? how small that window for insertion must be because penis' can go from 3/4 to 4/4 like that *snaps fingers*

and on the video...No mind have you, you have officially lost it...

Adrienne December 28, 2008 at 8:44 AM

First time commenting and this was HILARIOUS!!!!!

Chris December 28, 2008 at 9:33 AM

Celeb, you done lost your natural mind...I probably woke my neighbors up laughing so hard, good job!

clnmike December 28, 2008 at 9:34 AM

LMAO!


For dudes metrosexual is about clothes and grooming, you wont find me up in a male strip club.

But I see women all the time in strip clubs just having a good time, you can tell how they act that their not gay.

I dont think it is unusual.

As for that vid, LMAO!

Miss Definitely Maybe December 28, 2008 at 10:36 AM

LMAO at the vid
girl you crazy
dont think i have any lesbian tendencies all my energies are concentrated into loving sex and everything male....
though i once kissed a girl and i liked it, katy Perry style lol

The Jaded NYer December 28, 2008 at 11:51 AM

Dammit, Eb, I'm calling your momma!!!! that video... smh...

and just for the record, remember, those women in the porn movies, 9 times out of 10 they are strictly gay for pay, so I wouldn't use them as the standard for what lesbians like.

If you watch lesbian porn, made by lesbians for lesbians, it's nothing like this... the girl on girl ones you describe are made for men.

And how sad is it that I know all this? lets just say I used to get these catalogs from a "toy" company in San Fran... lol

That said, I think your actions emotions are normal, so I don't think there's a name for it except maybe horny or perverted LMAO!!!!!

MsKayotic December 28, 2008 at 12:45 PM

ROFL!!!

Girl you so crazy. That was crazy.

But if you woman enough to admit you like going to the strip club with your boys (which I will do too) then you should have been able to show yo face in the parody!!! Just playin girl. I know you was protectin the innocent.

Hahahaha!!!!

Nice toy btw.

Eb the Celeb December 28, 2008 at 12:58 PM

@Andre - OK maybe 5/8 hard...lol

Thx Chris!

@Miss Definitely Maybe - Ummm I hate to be the one to tell ya but kissing another chick is most def lesbian tendencies... and I would never...lol

Lmao - I'll take horny but I ain't embracing perverted...lol

@kayos - ha... girl I'm trying to be taken as a serious business woman one day... cant have my goofy past haunt me when that times comes...lol

MzInspiredMind81 December 28, 2008 at 1:03 PM

I think I'm 'curious' to the lifestyle w/out being 'CURIOUS' if that makes sense.

I love goin to the strip club w/ my male friends. Hell, like you said if a chick does some ish, I only wish I could do...yep I'mma tip you ma. Other times, it's HILARIOUS to laugh at some of the things that occur in the 'skrip club' lol.

I like girl on girl porn. I've asked lesbians that I know, just what the point of a dildo is..I'm sorry but if I'm getting dicked down...it's goin to be w/ the real, throbbing thing...not some plastic...bleh.

and1grad December 28, 2008 at 1:20 PM

lol...Eb you are really crazy. Killed me with the end.

and1grad December 28, 2008 at 1:27 PM

Also, I love how you put "peak" for the toy. Hilarious.

The question is, do you like your toy enough to "put a ring on it?"

Unknown December 28, 2008 at 1:41 PM

I have never been to a strip club but me and a few girls are planning on going and making fools of ourselves.
I am tipping and everything :)

Hell, I might jump up and try to get a few dollas myself ;)

I watch g on g porn. No biggie to me.
And
I love men.

Anonymous December 28, 2008 at 2:08 PM

Oh n I thought i was not normal... those girl on girl action.. its the strap on thingy I don't get.. but i also think those r for men...

Men stripping Freak me out.. makes me run... scream.... and wonder whats really going on...

I wouldn't mind going to a strip club with the dudes either...

the term, i'd think tomboy too...

oh.. that "dick".. I'll call him mysterious lol..

Eb the Celeb December 28, 2008 at 2:36 PM

@mzInspired - Curious to want to know what goes on but not curious enough to try it out.. I understand that

lmao @ and1grad - hell no I aint putting a ring on it...lol

@koffeeD - Mysterious is cool... but part of me is leaning towards Shadow... IDK... just something about it...hehehehe

Anonymous December 28, 2008 at 3:07 PM

That thing in your hand scares me. OMG...I would run from any man who was living like that.

Hilarium video though.

Kryssy December 28, 2008 at 3:35 PM

lmfaooooooooooooooo.... I can't stand you EB. LOL. My chest is hurting!!!

And to answer your question... you're a gay-straight-girl. That's what my guy friends call me... because I like to do the same things that you mentioned. And I'll flirt with a chick in a second... just because. LOL

Black Girl December 28, 2008 at 4:49 PM

ok Eb, that thing looks HUGE, even for a brother....lol...wtf

Ms.Seven Supa Sized December 28, 2008 at 4:54 PM

You are wild chick. I do the naked thing as well. I love it.

Eb the Celeb December 28, 2008 at 5:08 PM

@Jewells - Dont be afraid... your going to push a baby threw that hole one day... so if you ever get a chance to experience a beauty like that... you just lay back and relax

@kryssy - you wilder than me cuz IDK bout that flirting with a chick thing

@black chick - well his name is "big stud vibrating dildo" for a reason...lol

Amber "Bam" Cabral December 28, 2008 at 5:28 PM

First of all, that dildo reminds me of someone.

LOL... I'm kidding! Not.

But - I won't put him out there like that. He actually may have been a little longer. sigh.

anyhow..

I need to download that D Brock track in your player. I am lowkey a huge fan of his ( and he is a very sweet person if you ever meet him). So. Run your source.

B

Amber "Bam" Cabral December 28, 2008 at 5:34 PM

Oh. I forgot to mention this.

I have no issue with going to the strip club with guys, and I get dances and I tip. Half the girls in there want me more than whatever guy I am with so they love it because it keeps the ladies at our table.

I'm not a big fan of porn, because it makes me laugh. Its so.. Just fake and exaggerated. However, I also take no issue with men watching it.

I also have no problem with telling a woman she is beautiful/sexy or

Honestly, I think some women who take issue with these things are slightly insecure.

In my opinion, often women are nicer to look at then men: hense why I never go to the dick bar.

I am also with you on the grub - titty bars have the BEST WINGS and beer specials!

B.

Marvalus December 28, 2008 at 6:23 PM

Eb...you are crazy! I am LMAO at the vid!

I've never been to a strip club, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with it...

Gemini Girl aka GG December 28, 2008 at 7:00 PM

if i could quote FLAVA FLAV
"wow wow wow wow wow"

LMAO!
I know its been a minute but dang!
YOU SO CWAZEEEE!

Some of my boyfriends could/would say I'm borderline lesbo because I do appreciate a woman's body, beauty, alladat...but I've never been with a woman. I like the thought of another woman wanting / flirting or hitting on me but I couldn't get down with her sexually...I could see me and another woman and my boyfriend ... hmm that's a thought!

The F_Uitlist December 28, 2008 at 9:27 PM

I don't think any of the things you mentioned are lesbian tendencies. I have rolled to the strip club or many occasions, and its all fun to me. I always wondered about that girl on girl porn with strap ons, not so lesbian like to me. My best buddy is a lesbian and she always says its crap.

Now for that video, HAHAH, LMAO. I was on the floor literally. And what was with the dildo at your ear, hahaha.

You are a damn fool for this one.

Keith December 28, 2008 at 10:25 PM

There is a name for girls like you, who know their sports and who don't mind going to the strip clubs with the guys...-

FUN!

Amber-Alert December 29, 2008 at 12:41 AM

LMAOOOOO!!! girl u are crazy!!!!

none of my friends would be caught dead in a female strip club but ive been before and it was cool...minus the chicks snorting coke in the bathroom lol!!

u should try to come up with a new word...might catch on!

Ishea December 29, 2008 at 1:50 AM

There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. You're just in touch with your sexuality and comfortable with it. Many women struggle with feeling comfortable with themseleves...they wouldn't dare venture into a strip club and enjoy it? lol...not likely. Keep doing you and enjoying life and yourself! I think I'll prance around the house naked doing dishes, laundry, etc.

ill;kinda December 29, 2008 at 3:48 AM

damn, the parody was funny . haha creative : )

&& I fall under which ever category u fit into . & male strippers gross me out, I would rather go & see a chick .

Eb the Celeb December 29, 2008 at 6:54 AM

@Bam - Fo real... longer than that? IDK about longer than that... be in there poking ish he aint suppose to... long is never good in my book... I'll take them medium and thick

and I love love love D-Brock... the track was released in October... let me see if I can find you a link

Porn is comedy to me too... just because I'm so damn goofy... the only time I get turned on is if a chick is getting eaten out and those scenes are rare in porn cuz she always sucking him off and he dont ever do the same... so more times than not... I'm dying laughing!

@GG - lol... see I'm too selfish for all that... I can see me bringing another chick in the bedroom and having to knock her ass out for touching my man a certain way or bob him upside the head for looking at her ass too long... But I'm sure Krush wont mind...lol

@F it List - So real lesbians dont use strap ons? Whoa...

and lmao... you have to listen to the penis...lol


awwwweee... THX Keith

@Amber - I might just come up with my own phrase


LOVE U TOO -1-

@ill kinda - male strippers dont gross me out... for me its straight comedy... I laughed right in one's face one time... I was like... he cant be serious...hehehehe

Organized Noise December 29, 2008 at 8:12 AM

I knew there was something special about you and this post just confirmed it. I might have to add you to the short list of blog crushes.

CC Solomon December 29, 2008 at 8:44 AM

Girl, no words about that video! haha
But as for the first part of your post- I thought the term was tom boy but maybe that it isn't appropriate for what you're speaking of? There is nothing odd about you. I just say you're well rounded in your interest!

Anonymous December 29, 2008 at 9:58 AM

hahahaha, girl you got me laughing. Umm, but wait..I need to know that too cos I am the same way. I guess I have lesbian tendencies...but I love only dick.

Dont know about the 3/4 thingy...but the vid was crazy dope...

Kingsmomma December 29, 2008 at 11:28 AM

WOW Eb.
Now I always thought she was talking about the Peen in that song but damn that was just too much for me. You're silly.

that was hilarious.

As for the porn and strip clubs,
i'm not too fond of lesbian porn, it doesn't really do anything for me and i'm not too keen on eatin in teh strip clubs. Just seems wrong in my book but i think it's cool if you're going out with the guys. Y not. I probably won't tip b/c i wouldn't want her feeling like she has teh green light to dance on me. That's a no no.

Unknown December 29, 2008 at 1:27 PM

lmao!!!

1. I went to the strip club with my boys during howard homecoming. The place was a really reallllly realllllllly hood spot. But I was chilling. I didn't bug me, even threw a couple ones lol. Ego is my jam.

And that video!!!! you are crazy!!! I love it!!!!

Anonymous December 29, 2008 at 1:32 PM

um so that dildo, VIBRATES? *LOves it*

and LMAO @ you wiping it all over your face like that!!! I am at my desk in tears!

dsp
p.s. LOVE porn! LOVE Strip Clubs, LOVE women! but not more than i love that BIG BLACK ____!

Miss Snarky Pants December 29, 2008 at 1:44 PM

I had a comment [I swear I did] but i lost it after crackin' da hell up over that parody!

Eb that shyt is hilarious!!!!

ShellyShell December 29, 2008 at 1:47 PM

I've been to mad strip clubs with my boys! I give tips to and just sit and watch with them!

I to love sports! I don't have a problem sitting in the house watching sports all day in my pajamas!! Don't let UNC be playing. I will get off the phone and leave a date early!

On to the video. You can no longer say I'm crazy! You defintely have me beat! Fool!

G-Sweet December 29, 2008 at 2:16 PM

Eb... ive officially seen it all... ur too much... the parody was hilarious!


OH YEA... lol @ 3/4


ps. hope ur holidays are great!

Dave Van Buren December 29, 2008 at 2:49 PM

i had a comment until I saw the video. now my mind is in the gutter...

Monie December 29, 2008 at 3:18 PM

Eb, you do not have good sense! I was DYING over here! Do you hear me?! LOL!

I guess we're all a bunch of lesbian tendencied women because I don't mind going to chick strip clubs. I have taken a few man friends in the past. I also enjoy GonG porn. It's interesting. LOL!

Angel December 29, 2008 at 4:56 PM

Eb that was so so funny!!! Hilarious Girl!!

dessex December 29, 2008 at 5:35 PM

LOL that video was too funny.

I would love for my girl to go to the strip club with me and boys she could probably learn a few things.

Diva's Thoughts December 29, 2008 at 6:25 PM

LOL! Girl you are too much!!!! lol

Funny as all get out.

Brianna December 29, 2008 at 8:01 PM

you are a NUT for that video!!!

Eb the Celeb December 29, 2008 at 8:33 PM

lol....thx for the love everybody... glad you all enjoyed it but whazup with all the name calling :

Nut
Crazy
Fool
Wild Chick

etc etc etc

lol

but its all good... I know I don't have it all at times...just glad its not so bad that I have to take medication to calm the madness...lol

Janelle December 29, 2008 at 10:36 PM

Okay so what's the big deal about the strip club????? The chicks who down men about going??? Umm yeah, there's something wrong with them, not you!!!I've been to strip clubs more times than I can count (stalker ex was a reg patron of one)and I don't see what the big deal is. Let your man go to strip club. Hell stuff a $20 down the front of his pants and tell him the 1st lap dance is on you...that alone will make him coming running home afterwards. LOL

can't cosign on the porn. Not in a judgemental way moreso in a I've never watched it kind of way. LOL (yes that's real talk....hahahahahaa)

Girrrrl, I am dying - DYING- laughing over here. That is too funny but ummmmmm I need to reup on my toys, must tell me where you shop. LMAO

Jaded December 30, 2008 at 12:47 AM

This is by far the funniest shit I've seen in like...I don't know...MONTHS~!!!! Plus your voice isnt bad at all so it makes SO much more funnier. Bravo Eb...Bravo.

Eb the Celeb December 30, 2008 at 8:23 AM

@Janelle - I peruse online shops... cant have anyone catching me out and about at these NYC ones...Eden Fantasys usually has some good deals and bright colors.

@Jaded - Thx for the compliment but I know I cant sing a lick so its cool you can say it...lol

OG, The Original Glamazon December 30, 2008 at 9:54 PM

HA!! That paradoy is too funny!

Girl ain't nothing wrong with you strip clubs are cool and porn is useful. You just living life having fun.

Have a good NYE andbe safe!!

-OG

Jackie E. December 30, 2008 at 10:27 PM

THAT VIDEO IS HILARIOUS!! You are much braver than I could ever be!! Thank goodness I can live vicariously, lol...

Ashley T December 31, 2008 at 9:11 AM

So i only watched about 15 seconds of the video and died laughing.. just thinking you have way too much time on your hands! Anyway, love your blog sis and keep doin it big in the new year! Love ya!

ChpterReads January 5, 2009 at 4:48 PM

I cried so much, my boss came over to ask me if I was ok... That video was so funny, btw I love your mask very cute..

As for the lesbian thing I have to say that I fall in the same category as you do. I don't mind the strip club, I get some tips from the girls there and I have no problems going with the guys I prefer it cause I get to see what techniques work and what doesn't

girl on girl porn is hilarious cause its like you really aren't gay if you need a penis.. Trust me Penis is GREAT... the best thing ever if you ask me.. but that's where I digress..

I love to watch sports, I am known as a boy cause I watch them so much, my girl cousins think I'm weird. I love cars, and know whats under the hood, I can tell a V* from a V6.

I'm a girly girl with boyish like tendencies.. does that make sense? but I can totally relate!

Gabrielle Clark January 5, 2009 at 5:56 PM

LMAO what a huge one :)

But i understand what you mean, i think we`re one in the same. I don`t mind any of that either. I think its quite normal actually. I`m a female and I think I look great, and since I`m comfortable with that, I`m comfortable around women. I`m comfortable around PEOPLE period, and being an art enthusiast, i know that the body is aesthetically beautiful, so its honestly not a big deal.

YBW January 9, 2009 at 4:25 PM

OMG, this is my first day really being out of bed in a while an i should have known you'd have some foolishness to crack me up with. Now you know you are special beyond words for this one, but dayum if i ain't up here crying with laughter... always count on Eb.

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