Do I give off a jungle fever vibe?
For my bruthas...
The Booty Call Contract

For some reason, 2008 has turned out to be the year that white men are loving some Eb the Celeb. I don't understand it and am kinda afraid of the attention. No offense to all my melanin challenged men out there, but I wants me a black man, and not even a redbone, I want me a sexy chocolate, the darkest kind of gravy, turn milk to chocolate by dipping his finger in it type of brother. Not the type that disappears when the lights go out, but you get what I'm trying to say. That Chris Webber, Idris Elba, shade of chocolate. Ok I digress!

Anyway, so while in Hawaii, I caught a couple from the lighter nation giving me the eye. I didn't think anything of it, you know a man is a man is a man, and when your in a bathing suit, just about anything with a dick will try to holla at you if their straight. Actually even a gay man will give you the finger roll and snap that your looking quite sexy even if he doesn't have the slightest attraction to you.

Then on the way back, switching in the Houston airport this short white guy in a business suit walks up to me and just starts talking. I think I had just said how cute some guy was so he made an appoint to talk to me, tell me he thought I was cute, and wanted to know if the feelings were mutual. First off, I didn't even see his color, I saw his height. He was shorter than me and I had on sneakers. Plus, he was balding a little, and probably in his late 30's and you know I stick to my 5 year rule for the most part. Nicely dressed though, definitely a business man. I shut him down quick though. But he didn't give up, and damn near walked me all the way to my gate. I couldn't stop laughing at his advances. He finally pulled out his card and said to call him sometime. He's a VP of something, I forget, at a company in minnesota. No way will Eb ever live in Minnesota, and I wasn't interested anyway. Never called.

Then what brought about this whole post. There are some construction workers that have been working on a building on my block for the past 2 weeks. Every morning there they are, 3 white guys that are always staring at me and watch me walk down the street. Everyday, this one guy says, good morning beautiful. I say my good morning and keep it moving. Today though he tried to continue a conversation with me. I had my ipod on so I acted like I didn't hear any of the words past the usual good morning and kept it moving. But he is a cute white boy, and it even made me smile a little. But still, I could never date a white man. Unless of course, he looked and had a swag like Channing Tatum.
I'm trying to stay true to my bruthas, but I'm not getting no love from them this year, (Well not the ones I want anyway, you've read about the lame date and the idiot that thought I was a stripper.) Oh and I should probably give an update now on my Feels good to be loved post.

So me and semi-pro still talk regularly. But he doesn't live in the city. Just when he loses his flair with me, we have an amazing conversation that keeps me interested. But I'm a physical person, and not physical in the sense that all ya'll nasty readers are thinking, I don't want to get him between the sheets, but just the physical interaction, going out for drinks or dinner, the little things. I may go visit him while he's gone but in reality he wont be back in the city until late June. I know phone conversation for the next 4 months (since that's all I'm getting) isn't going to get it. He's cool though. I likey a little.

Oldie but Goodie, also one not living in NYC. Is getting ready to start grad school and is truly trying to concentrate on getting his career together. Although every time we talk he reminds me of his interest and then is hinting at the fact that he can't be in a relationship until he gets his career rolling and insinuates me waiting. Are you serious? He is a cutie though, and a good dude, but I ain't waiting on nobody. Did the waiting thing before, and the nig broke my heart, so it was time wasted. But I am definitely going to keep the line of communication open. I will be in his neck of the woods in June and our high school reunion is next year, so you know... play the field, and then maybe let him indulge so he know that I ain't one to let mingle in hopes that I'll wait and end up getting away while he trying to get his ish together...lol.

Almost famous. We chilled a couple weeks ago. Went to a bowling party and then came back to the crib for a good ol' game of Taboo. Where me and my roommate killed him and his boy. Biggest turn off ever, why the nig tried to get in my pants our first night chilling. What the hell does he think this is. I'm sure he gets a lot of groupies because of his sisters fame, but are you serious. Eb the celeb don't roll like that, plus I wasn't even really feelin' him anyway, it was just something to do that night. Ugh, that pissed me off to no end. When he finally figured out after 30 minutes of trying to no avail (when I told his ass before he decided to sleep over that he wasn't getting none, and he tried to play it down like he didn't want none anyway), then he wanted to leave. Well get ya ass up then. Last time I talked to him.

So where the bruthas at, cuz on the real, this little white construction worker, if he keeps on, he might get a little more chocolate than he bargained for, or is even ready for...LOL! Sometimes I do wonder what the sex would be like... me and my momma tell each other everything but I'd feel real weird asking her to compare and contrast for me... and my sister well... I don't even know if she ever had sex with a black man, plus I'd rather not have any visuals of my brother-in-law. So for my blog sisters out there that have delved into the lighter nation, please do tell!

And for the men... if you made them chicks fill out one of these, you wouldn't have any problems with them catching feelings after you put that thang down on 'em...
I saw this and thought it was hilarious so I had to post it!

41 comments

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 10:07 AM

@ "I'm trying to stay true to my bruthas, but I'm not getting no love from them this year, (Well not the ones I want anyway"

I so feel you EB. The brothers are lack luster this year and the other brothers have been approaching, so I've been tackling this issue in my head for a minute. I haven't resolved anything yet.

p_nami March 12, 2008 at 10:07 AM

I've seen this agreement LOL. I will have to send you the boyfriend application, so when someone comes along you can get past the nonsense immediately.

Never been one to go for vanilla...but if you do decide to dip into that side of the Neopolitan ice cream, you know we'll be here waiting for an update!

i.can't.complain. March 12, 2008 at 10:12 AM

eb,

as u know ive been going thru this same thing.

i guess all the white women are with our BLACK men

so, the white guys are like " f' it... i may as well date me a BLACK woman".

either that, or they've always admired us, but thanks to BET or flavor of love (lol) they now find us more accessible and interesting.

ive never slept w/a white guy but one of my BLACK girlfriends is a serial white-boy dater.

shockingly, she says that they're usually packing and are very willing 2 plz in the bedroom

also, i hear that they are always down 2 plz u orally.

stereotype, maybe...

-1-

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 10:16 AM

Eb, Its so true.. The brothers are lost this year... those other dudes are trying HARD. you already know that black women are already getting TONS of love from white men...

I haven't even dated one.. but I get the attention all the time... I think you should try that out... give mr "construction" a chance...

Halle Berry got her ish together with mr Canadian baby daddy.. so go for it.. lol.. this make no damn sense...

12kyle March 12, 2008 at 10:20 AM

Eb

For a lonnng time, it bothered me to see us lose good sistas to white boys. I think that sistas have so much to offer to us bruthas to help make US better. I guess one of the reasons why I didn't like it was b/c I never dated a white chick. No offense to anyone. I know what I like. And it's a sista. Period. The only thing that I don't like is when a black person says..."I don't date black men/women."

That said, as I've gotten older I've realized that you have to love who loves you. Even if they are white. Why miss out on love b/c of someone else's hangups about their race? Love is hard enough to find. If you find a white man that can give you what you need, then so be it.

For the sistas who can't seem to find a good black man...where are you looking? I'm curious.

anonymousnupe March 12, 2008 at 10:25 AM

I don't really see the dilemma. White. Black. Ecru. Love is love. (And lust is, well, hot, er hawt.) As long as you're doin' you what's the big conundrum?

And why wouldn't white men be entranced by our sistas'? I mean, look at y'all!!! Never a more pulchritudinous, sultry, intrepid creature has God created.

Ticia March 12, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Hey EB--

Well, someone asked me for my number this weekend.... it was nice... I am very closed off in my realm of letting someone in...
So it was hard for me to do it...
BUT I did..and we are going out this weekend.....

Hmm... But I will take a new age white boy.. they are some cuties!

Unknown March 12, 2008 at 10:56 AM

I prefer my men chocolate. I have white men hit on me but, I told a friend I am white looking enough and need to keep color in my life. I know someone who is going the "something new" route but I have to many hangups.

The Jaded NYer March 12, 2008 at 11:05 AM

I prefer the brothas as well, or any variation thereof, but I did have some weak moments when I crossed that street.

One guy never got that far because he mentioned in passing, "Jewish guys use Catholic girls as practice" at a time when I was still active in the Church. I was like WORD!?!? And then we were done!

The other was strictly a fling; I never had any intention of making it anything other than physical. And let me tell you, he's got nothing (looks-wise) to my darker-skinned bretheren with their dark eyes and sexy bodies, but when it came to the bedroom, he most def was eager to please in ALL aspects and YES, he was packin...

Don't sleep, Eb; no one says you gotta marry the fool. Get yours and get out...construction workers are sexy...

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 11:32 AM

12kyle, good question.. I'm going to say I stay away from the mall, clubs... i guess its all a matter of going to places one enjoys...
Now you seem to have a good head on your shoulders... now If i can ask... where must a sister look for a good black man?

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 11:46 AM

White dudes just don't do it for me. Plus I have other issues concerning white folk. I loooove black men.

I have went on a couple of dates with a white boy but that's it. I'm not attractive to them. I have come across some cute ones but I just stare and kept it moving.

Nothing against anyone finding love outside of their race. It just isn't for me.

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 11:49 AM

Check my new post "Baby I Deserve"...I'd love to hear your thoughts lady!

Ms.Lady March 12, 2008 at 11:53 AM

I am SO stuck on my chocolate that I have no desire for anything else...

but...

if Ol' boy from Step It Up wanted to holla...he sure could..lol.

I dunno Eb..its all in what you wanna do..Since you feel the brutha's you want aint hollin' atchu..maybe trying something different wont hurt

::shrugs::

Queen of My Castle March 12, 2008 at 11:54 AM

I'm feeling this post. Don't know what it is. I think White men, for the most part, have always wanted to know what it's like to have a Black woman, but even moreso now because it is not as 'taboo' as it was a few years ago. You better work girl! LOL

Cassandra March 12, 2008 at 12:05 PM

I feel the same way. I cant and havent given up in my black bruthas, but if Channing Tatum comes by...I may have to consider!!

Diva's Thoughts March 12, 2008 at 12:07 PM

I have never dated a white guy before but I have so considered it. Brothas are so disappointing.

Miss Snarky Pants March 12, 2008 at 12:16 PM

While I’ve absolutely nothing against interracial dating in general, I definitely couldn’t see myself doing it…

There’s nothing I find more attractive than a chocolate covered brutha so the “melanin challenged” LOL [like you so nicely put it] don’t really stand a chance as far as I’m concerned.

The bottom line however is love knows no color so when it’s all said and done, you ultimately have to go with whatever works for you.

Muze March 12, 2008 at 1:03 PM

girl, you are so on point with this post.

first, channing tatum is HOTT. his swag is ridiculous. the only reason why i watched Step Up. lol.

secondly, yes, the vanilla men are all up in my caramelhoney since like november. i don't know what it is though...i think they have always liked us.

i say date who you want to date. no harm in hanging out with a white guy until your chocolate delight comes along. LOL.

anonymousnupe March 12, 2008 at 1:05 PM

Dang. We gettin' lambasted up in hur.

I think one problem is that so many sisters are actively looking for a man, and men can smell that, like chum in the ocean. Whatchall should be doin', not to get all Matthew 6:33 on you, is edifying yourself (in the gym, classroom, place of worship, home, etc.) to the point that you are a beacon to fine, upstanding, worthy men...of all races.

That's just this Nupe's take on it.

swag_ambassador March 12, 2008 at 1:17 PM

im blinded by my women, period point blank. I dont have anything against the other races, but I can only really see myself being intimate on every level (mind, body, soul) with a sista.. I wont sit here and say that I hadnt touched base with others when I was younger, but once I hit the age where I knew what kind of woman I ultimately would want to have on my arm, it was hands down...

my oldest sister pretty much dates nothin but white men, and its funny to me cause they really swoon on her tough, shes quite spoiled so she loves it.. I just shake my head everytime I have to meet "rex" or "scott".. LOL

dejanae March 12, 2008 at 2:01 PM

Mr. Tatum
mmmmmmmmmmm
nyway
give the melanin challenged a chance.lol
and u shoulda called the balding vp
find out his net worth
get married
divorce hiss ass
take half
then get u that dark chocolate brotha
sounds like a good plan to me

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 2:09 PM

Hmmm...can't say I've never been on the line but I can say it was only once and it felt SO uncomfortable, it was over in less than a week.

Hey, you're comfortable with what you're comfortable with. No apologies to anyone are necessary, because it's YOUR life.

Speak for the brothers...'Preciatecha!

Sherri March 12, 2008 at 2:34 PM

lol@the booty all contract.

girl, u got to remain true to urself. love urself fully and love will find u
very clicheish but true.

Tiffany S. Jones March 12, 2008 at 2:34 PM

I don't know if you give off that vibe, but hey, with so many eligible black women snatching up the white and asian women, those men probably feel like black women are the only ones left in their dating pool.
Don't feel bad, when I was living in Tennessee, I got asked out by my nail tech. His line, "Do you like Asian men?"
What the hell?!

Ms.Seven Supa Sized March 12, 2008 at 5:15 PM

I was thinking along the same lines a few days ago. I don't get an excessive amount of attention from any race. I usually get more from black guys. However, the gents I've met after undergrad have been a total waste of time. I've learned some lessons and I'm stronger. I've never done the interracial thing until recently and it kinda happened by chance. Because I'm dating to eventually settle down, not necessarily to just have fun, I remember I swore up and down 5 months ago that I would not date anyone lighter than me. But Superstar in NY is Puerto Rican and the only thing brown about him is his other half. The interest is genuinely there and it caught me by surprise. As I mentioned to folks, my gurl was actually interested in him. I was just trying to place his face because he seemed familiar. He's a sweet heart. I underestimated him in certain areas and was definitely singing falsetto there after. I can dig it...he'll be visiting DC and I'll be visiting NY to see where things go.

soumynona March 12, 2008 at 5:38 PM

I love this post! ... and the responses "Black men ...lackluster"
LMAO
As a black man - that ish was funny. I'm not offended at all. The vote is out. Our ladies are trying to keep us down but their interests will soon be other than brown!! Love who you love, but remember, love isnt temporary! You make that ish over hard times and clenched fists...I'll finish this on my blog too!

MsFreshBananaPuddin March 12, 2008 at 6:05 PM

I feel ya. i want me some chocolate! That dude from the dance movie is foine though...laughin at the gays pointing fingers and giving you the snap...

stephanie March 12, 2008 at 7:22 PM

Hey girl, comin' to check u out...
I want my man to look like his skin taste like a Hershey Bar...So i completely understand ya!

classybabe March 12, 2008 at 7:28 PM

lol@ booty call agreement.
For real i love me some Blair Underwood!Yummy

Brittany March 12, 2008 at 8:12 PM

I could never be with a white man. It just don't seem right. My sister is only attracted to white men. I couldn't even see her with someone black. But some white dudes are sexy. SOME!

Mizrepresent March 12, 2008 at 8:17 PM

Eb, i hear ya...just ain't feeling it...i know what i love and want, and that has never been on my wish list!

John "JP" Pickens March 12, 2008 at 8:30 PM

please, women ALWAYS fuck up the booty call.

As far as the other side of the game, never been there...can't really say I'm curious. I don't even like Pink Toe Porn.

Brianna March 12, 2008 at 9:29 PM

Channing....ooh la la. If I ever meet him I will come back and answer this post honestly. Until then I am no help.

FeFe Johnson March 12, 2008 at 9:53 PM

Whoa...this is a shame. How often are you at a social event where there are plenty of "new" black guys that would be able to approach you the was you would wanna be approached?

Anonymous March 12, 2008 at 10:21 PM

I kissed a white dude in high school. That's as far as my experience goes.

kit von b. March 13, 2008 at 12:03 AM

im guilty. i'm a rainbow coalition kinda gal!

-karrie b.

bored_eats March 13, 2008 at 1:59 AM

"I want me a sexy chocolate, the darkest kind of gravy, turn milk to chocolate by dipping his finger in it type of brother. "


haha hilarious!!! lol..

and on channing tatum...i agree....yum!

Afrobabe March 13, 2008 at 9:47 AM

God girl, u described that chocolate so well I was practically wet...I had images of the cutest, well endowed black men out there....hmmmm...have I digressed? dont think so...we were talking about my favorite topic right??? Men!!..

Babes, why dont u try this white cutie and inform the rest of us...

Anonymous March 14, 2008 at 1:39 AM

LMAO @ dejane!!! my sentiments exactly. I always say get the rock then run with the cash ;). I just found this site and eb girl I LOVE the site, its great! but on the real my fellow sistas you definetely need to expand your dating circle. Don't be waiting for Tyroneeeeeeee ( i know ya'll love Ms. Badu)when Tonyyyyyyy is right there for you lol. I'm just being real, I grew up with all white guys and for a time I had a preference for only black guys..then I woke up and saw the light and I'm back on the White Knight tip lol. This is not self hatred, I love my brothas, but in terms of what my goals are, what I'm into, most black guys just don't get it. Most black guys dont like for e.g. house music (my obsession)....white guys DO like black women, moreso in Europe though. We are like a delicacy over there if you will. Sure, you will undoubtedly meet the dicks and the losers who just want you as a fetish, but there are many who just love black women as women and beyond their skin tone. I was in Berlin last May for only 3 weeks and DAYUM I got hit on left right and centre. In 3 weeks I met 9 men. Can you believe? Euro men are def. different,hence my eventual move to go live there..they're more aggressive and they dont play mind games, which too many N. American here do, its such a shame.

Sorry for the long post :)

The Flyyest March 14, 2008 at 8:21 PM This comment has been removed by the author.
RAGING BULL March 14, 2008 at 9:48 PM

I didn't really read any of the comments cause we had this argument over at OHN.

Anyway. I just gave you a shout on my blizzog. Check the latest blog.

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