Dreams of Sex'ing a Blogging D*ck

DISCLAIMER : See its not my fault. Don started it with this. Then told me that I should do the male version. I bashfully declined, so he has no idea that this whole thing is going down but I just couldn't resist. I know mine isn't as juicy as Don's but hopefully you'll feel me just the same. I hope I don't offend any of you guys. Don went and asked all the blog ladies if it was OK to include them before he posted it, like a gentlemen, but I ain't that sweet!

EB the Celeb is on the MIC!

As I sit back, relax, kettle one got me vexed
Think about the blog bruthas that I wanna sex

#1 on my list is always Mista Swag
Steal him away from them Cali girls
give him the best he's ever had
If you think Nina gave Darius that euroba,
you ain't seen nothing yet
Have you feelin' so good
you'll want to lick off my sweat

Blog world got DonChris thinking he's DonJuan
One hint of this and his king turns to pawn
Even before you get in, I take you farther than far
Show him the true meaning of minus the bars

Skoolboi Krush is my homie
so this feels real odd
Just know if I did give you the chance
Them glasses would be eternally fogged

With Rashan, I can see us watching porn first
Knowing that his dialogue will make him work up a thirst
I will be waiting with open legs for him to quench
Giving him the opportunity to sop up every inch

Slausin Ass Slaus doesn't really get me hot
But with that thick tongue he has, he's a forget me not
So I'd make him work to lay in my bed
Make sure that bald head is deep between my legs

You know another that I would let taste my love
His first name is James and his last starts with TUB
We have a love/hate relationship
that would warrant hitting it from the back
After I throw this thang on him
He'll be stut stut stuttering
Never again talking smack

That man 12Kyle he's new to the scene
So I was gonna leave him alone, but he's been so mean
Talking about my alma mater, that ain't gon ride
If I put this voon doon on him
Have him screaming....AGGIE PRIDE!

dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying
dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying

Eclectik's words get me wet even before I read
But if he was in new york, I'd give him what he needs
To stop thinking about that chick
uuuhhh what's her name...Zoe
After a lil of this all future dime limes
will be about me solely

Sojourner G another man who has a way with words
Have to give him that slow wind, make love, go deep kinda lovin'
The only blogger that will have me cooking after
Bacon, eggs, grits, potatoes, and oh the bisquits are in the oven

Soumy doesn't blog enough for me to decide
Just gets an honorable mention since 2 Taurus' collide
To all other signs this is an untouchable channel
Just know everything will be all out of whack
on his bubble panel
Make him ditch that animation and post a real pic
After he feels how tight my walls clutch his d*ck

Now Dappa kills me with his humble opinion
Always telling a woman "NO"
Perfect reason to tie his hands behind his back
and let his tongue go to work on this camel toe

The dude One Man's opinion is a little different
he talks out of the side of his neck about everybody to vent
Since he likes it from the side I can see us in that pretzel
I can picture me wanting it over and over and him telling me has has to rest though

Homer is my co-pilot, but he's never taken a real flight
Til his manpart has dipped itself in-between my thighs
Will never be his #1 because of his beautiful daughter
But that didn't stop him from drinking my bath water

Yeah its that good, aint no need to play it down
But with a name like Thic Flair, he may have the goods to turn me out
The heavydick champion of the world, even has the belt
In my ring though I'll penetrate something that you've never felt
So tight, juices ever flowing, so high you think I slipped you x
I can hear you now singing R. Kelly's "The Greatest Sex"

dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying
dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying

says he's married so I should just leave him alone
But 1 question, has your wife ever made you moan?
And I'm not talking about that little man yelp...
This good ish I got over here, will have you calling for help

Maybe Slish could come over and help you with it
Another married man that could get it
And only a couple blocks from me so you better watch out
Let me know when you ready to come to Harlem to see what its about
I've been known to engage those uncontrollable body convulsion nuts
Have you walking back to the Bronx like Omar on a crutch

1980 talking about he searching for his swagger
If he had some of me, that search wouldn't even matter
Then that man who's blogspot is daddy long dick
If you have to advertise the size of the dick that must mean the motion is real quick

G-Sweet says I'm cute and darkskin
since the pics I do not hide
With him I know I'm going to have to ride
You will lose control to the ultimate chocolate sexy
Then make him get up and fix me a tall glass of Nestea

My name ain't Justice so I ain't happy go lucky
But I know that all I've mentioned are happy that I'd fuck he
Clnmike found my ESPN profile before this
So maybe I should put on a jersey before I take him to sexual bliss

Rich was the one over there encouraging this revenge
That's why I left him until the end
Sometimes you have to teach a man to stay in his place
So I'll close this little diddy by sitting on his face

dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying
dreams of sex'ing a blogging d*ck
im just playing
but im saying

Just in case you needed some audio:

And for some reason my recorder was skipping a little bit on that joint but I'm tired as hell don't feel like re-recording it but you'll get the point!


diary of a G March 7, 2008 at 1:19 AM

damnnn lol I guess I can say I've had some thots of bloggers I wudn't mind doing it with. lol
thats hot tho

LadyWritesTheBlues March 7, 2008 at 3:16 AM

Dayum EB! Then you addes the Love Jones shot out. LOL you and that damned Don are crazy! That was hot! You. And. That. Damned. Don... Too funny! Oh and I've been meaning to ask you if it's okay to add you as a link on my page. Hope it's okay...

dc_speaks March 7, 2008 at 7:50 AM

wow. you sure ain't shy. you go girl! lol

James Tubman March 7, 2008 at 8:09 AM

stut stut stuttering

you kiddin

girl i'll have you looking for s#*t that aint even there

i'll have you hanging on my roof 4 o'clock in the morning with camouflage on just tryin to get a glimpse of who i'm with

i'll have you so sprung that... well... you get the point lol

love your bougie sophisticated voice by the way

Desy March 7, 2008 at 8:27 AM

work it out eb...lol... got these male bloggers stutterin...

lmao@ james... he gonna have you...? or really?!?!?...

Homer is My Co-pilot March 7, 2008 at 8:50 AM

lmao... drinking bath water? that was a good one. Compared to some of the other ones you took it easy on me.

12kyle March 7, 2008 at 9:12 AM

lmao!!! You are hilarious! I appreciate the love. Make me scream Aggie Pride??? Damn! I wanna say something sarcastic but I'm speechless. Haaaaaa.

Rich March 7, 2008 at 9:22 AM

I'm gone have to disassociate myself with this dude named Rich.

You had some tight lines. All i can say is y'all crazy.

You are right, I'm going to have to learn to stay at my place.

I'm out.

Queen of My Castle March 7, 2008 at 10:06 AM

DAAAAAAMN, Eb went hard. Big ups ma. LOL. Yeah, you did the damn thing.

Don March 7, 2008 at 10:14 AM

look @ you ebonne, even came with the audio. LOL. Thats neat, real good. I like how you rip'd the chorus. Im not going to speak on no verse but mines...but you and I both know that YOU.AINT.GON.DO. NATHAN!

Talking about minus the bars...hmm mmmm.

Don March 7, 2008 at 10:15 AM

You came with it, though. No doubt about that.

magnoliapeach March 7, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Dang EB!!! Do it girl!! LOL!

*sneaking out to find this 1980, LOL

Anonymous March 7, 2008 at 11:16 AM

lol strong work E! For the record though I am a taurus as well.

Ticia March 7, 2008 at 11:18 AM




Gone head!! You are HOT :)

cally-waffybabe March 7, 2008 at 11:49 AM

lol you crazy babe. would you really? i know a coupla people that won't mind...ma homie, dog, tops da list. i see ma other homie, don, here as well. lmao girl you gat 'em all hot under da collar...now that's hawt!!!

swag_ambassador March 7, 2008 at 11:51 AM

"#1 on my list is always Mista Swag
Steal him away from them Cali girls
give him the best he's ever had
If you think Nina gave Darius that euroba,
you ain't seen nothing yet
Have you feelin' so good
you'll want to lick off my sweat"

Well alright now.. I feel like the numba 1 draft pick LOL.. this is official eb, I like it.. THE EUROBA!!! betta then mjs's comeback..

Muze March 7, 2008 at 1:23 PM

OMG this is so dope. i think you got don beat eb. ha!

STILL cracking up at you sitting on rich's face. lol.

and aggie pride...killer.

love's it.

ZACK March 7, 2008 at 1:46 PM

*jumping up and down like a little kid*

OOH! OOH! I want a verse!

Naw, jus' playing girl. You're probably gonna e-mail me my verse. But this was funny.

anonymousnupe March 7, 2008 at 1:48 PM

Maybe I need to get me one-a these vanity blogs so me and my prehensile tongue can get some lust up in here. Should I go for it, judge Slaus? Naw. Proly wouldn't be fair to the non-anonymousnupes out there. I slay me.

KIKI March 7, 2008 at 2:38 PM

Eb...you nassy!hehehehe

Ok...I'm playin...girl, that was FIYAH!!!

and I take it back...you still nassy...but in a good way...

PrettyBlack March 7, 2008 at 2:47 PM

That was the fire...Let 'em know girl! This is why she hot...this is why she hot...haha!

You gotta take it easy on my baby cuzz tho' I used to change his diaper I can't imagine him in any compromising positions...hahah!

Loved it...definitely fire.

Thic Flair March 7, 2008 at 3:23 PM

well shit. offended, hell naw. Got me singin kang piss on kids huh? aight then,...don't let the fat fool you, I ain't no easy win. LOL.

Have a good weekend!!!

Virtuous March 7, 2008 at 3:47 PM

Gurl you knocked it out the box! :oD

Don March 7, 2008 at 4:17 PM

eb, just make sure you use e-protection.

G-Sweet March 7, 2008 at 4:29 PM

*shiiiit*... stirrin a glass of Nestea (while naked)

"do u like urs extra sweet?"

G-Sweet March 7, 2008 at 4:31 PM

u did that tho'... good shit!

Ms. Behaving March 7, 2008 at 5:06 PM


That ish right there?!?!?!
That's wassup Eb!!!

G-Sweet March 7, 2008 at 5:14 PM

lol @ don's "e-protection"

u know them viruses be goin around!

Blogxilla March 7, 2008 at 6:28 PM

Ok ok ok ok I'm hating on this!!!I'm pissed i aint make the list again!! SMH!!! okay imma have to start dropping links or something.

Skoolboi Krush March 7, 2008 at 6:44 PM

Me and you, Eb?.....

That's nasty!

I like how you did your thing though.

Anonymous March 7, 2008 at 6:50 PM

You came with it, Eb. I diggs it!

Rich March 7, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Alright, let me give you your props, you killed it. You even got the sexy voice MP3 on top of that. You reign Supreme. Like MC LYTE, I bet there is plenty of Light at the end of that tunnel.

Note to self - don't talk smack around EB.

eclectik March 7, 2008 at 7:38 PM

I find that to be very entertaining
And well...honest LMAO!

Good business, you have the talent I need.


Pajnstl March 7, 2008 at 7:56 PM

Chic you certainly have SKILLS!

HOT Stuff!

The Flyyest March 7, 2008 at 8:13 PM

you killed that shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/3 of what I used to be March 7, 2008 at 9:53 PM

LOL like everyone else said you killed it! Very creative and funny lol

clnmike March 8, 2008 at 12:56 AM

Lol, you know you crazy.

i.can't.complain. March 8, 2008 at 1:44 AM

"but that didn't stop him from drinking my bath water"


get 'em, Eb!


Mr.Slish March 8, 2008 at 7:15 AM

I know left a comment on this post...lol Anyway thanks for the big up..Thank you for letting an old man feel like a school boy again..lol

mp1 v.8.0 March 8, 2008 at 9:34 AM

ya got me stut stut stuttering over here!!! damn, ma! Getting me all hot and blogged up!

Slausin-Ass Slaus March 8, 2008 at 2:49 PM

Hmph. Had to put a condom on just to read this ill ass shyt!

ol nasty mcnasty girl.

I bet not wind up E-pregnant n shyt..

all this naughtiness... i need to run a virus scan dealin wit all yall!

this post is a classic

1980 March 8, 2008 at 4:26 PM

damn eb i can't have you all to myself??!! lol

Philly's Andrea March 8, 2008 at 11:08 PM

This was fresh girl. Don't hurt em too bad.

Suite B March 8, 2008 at 11:14 PM

Alright would you and Don just start a damn blog together because I don't know anyone else who has the time, the talent to do such a piece and the memory to remember all those names!


Jackie Edwards March 9, 2008 at 12:30 AM

All I can is damn....I'm speechless! Props to you Ms. Eb!!!

Anonymous March 9, 2008 at 12:36 AM

you killing 'em eb!!!

Ms.Lady March 10, 2008 at 3:52 PM

Get it Eb!!


Thats all I got to say :-)

soumynona March 10, 2008 at 4:13 PM

Dammmmmmmm!!!!!! So, ummmmm, my only question is why didnt you really get yo flow on bc I know you can flow wit it. You were sounding too sexy on the recording, getting my ish all (dont even say it)
I thought you were gonna be all like lil'wayne baby momma flowing but its all good. You called me out too and please don't sleep on dem Tauruses - lol
This was a mad cool post

Brianna March 10, 2008 at 10:49 PM

wowzers!!!! that was pretty amazing.

Don March 11, 2008 at 7:09 AM

@ ebonne: yeah eb dont hurt em too bad.

Monie March 13, 2008 at 2:37 PM

lmaoooooooooooooooooooo Eb, I'm catching up! And I'm glad I am because this post had me on the damn floor, girl!

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