How do you know when...
Friends make the best lovers

The phrase is not new at all, its said far and wide that "Friends make the best lovers." But how do you know that? How do you know that a guy friend that you have just been friends with for years, could potentially be the love of your life? When is it okay to say something to that friend that you are having some un-pure thoughts about them? Or does this saying only apply after you fall for someone, that you make sure that you are also friends. Does it ever apply to a guy who you are strictly friends with first?Anywho... I found a checklist online of how to tell if your best friend of the opposite sex should move to your best lover and felt compelled to share:

Friends to lovers clue: You talk for hours.
Do you and your best buddy spend hours talking on the phone? It's time to think about moving up to another level with him! Moving from being friends to lovers may just be for the two of you.

Friends to lovers clue: Your heart skips a beat when he's around.
If you find your heart beating faster when you catch a glimpse of him/her, it could be a sure sign that you should become more than just friends. Getting all excited around him/her is your heart's way of telling that maybe you should think about moving from being friends to lovers.

Friends to lovers clue: You see each other everyday.
No, this doesn't mean just bumping into each other while out and about. If you two make time to just be together, chances are, you two should moving from being friends to lovers.

Friends to lovers clue: He makes time for you.
All of a sudden, he's ditching his best buds for some quality time for you. Whenever he spots you anywhere, he'll always makes sure that you two get to talk, even for just a bit. Could it be that you two should be more than friends?

Friends to lovers clue: He opens up to you.
Does he always tell you what he's feeling? If this guy finds it comfortable enough to tell you the things he wouldn't even tell his best male bud, then it could be that he feels comfortable enough with you. Maybe you should think about being more than friends with him.

Friends to lovers clue: You just love everything about him.
Being his best bud, you're probably privy to every little thing he does-even the disgusting ones. But if you still find yourself thinking of him despite his farting abilities, then count yourself lucky. It may just be the time to move from friends to lovers.

Friends to lovers clue: You turn a little green.
You find yourself flustered and jealous when you see him in the company of other girls. Even though he's not making any moves on them, you find a little pang of jealousy in your heart. Maybe you should tell him that the two of you should be more than friends.

26 comments

12kyle March 3, 2008 at 2:28 PM

you're on point...again

I think if you're looking to have any type of long term relationship with your mate, then you have to be friends. The better of friends that you are...then the more likely that your relationship will last. For an example, in a marriage you wear many hats. You are the wife, best friend, lover, homie (lol), etc. If your friendship is strong, you can step to your man as your friend...not as your husband...and let him know what he is doing wrong. Communication is the key. Best friends always find a way to communicate and keep the relationship fresh.

Homer is My Co-pilot March 3, 2008 at 2:40 PM

I actually had a friend I tried to make the conversion with, she shoot me down flat... lmao, we are still good friends and honestly it's probably best that we did not end up together. the important part in this whole thing is if the other person wants the same thing because if not it could ruin a friendship.

Sojourner G March 3, 2008 at 3:03 PM

I would add that the first priority is to find out if the other person feels the same way. Things could get REAL ugly if one steps up and the other steps back.

Now here's the idea for your next Relationship Talk: Can you go from lovers to friends? Not just the nodding acquaintence type, but real friends that talk regularly and hang out from time to time.

eclectik March 3, 2008 at 3:53 PM

Interesting thought process...
It's all possible and could be true

Good luvin is Good luvin, I say when and where you can fnd and get it....find and get it.

e.

B_More BAP Life March 3, 2008 at 4:20 PM

You are so inside my head. It's crazy EB!

Brittany_83 March 3, 2008 at 4:28 PM

I like sojourner g's suggestion.

"Can you go from lovers to friends? Not just the nodding acquaintence type, but real friends that talk regularly and hang out from time to time."

thee modern isis March 3, 2008 at 4:44 PM

Good post.

I have a friend that I talk all the time with, we can laugh and talk for hours about anything from politics and family issues to gas bubbles and ingrown hairs. lmao

We did our thing-thing and tried to make it work back in 2002 but it didn't jump off well so we went back to being friends.

I'm so glad it didn't ruin our friendship.

Afrodite March 3, 2008 at 4:48 PM

I dunno Eb...

I have a strictly platonic friend that I would never dream of being with. He just doesn't do it for me.

Jewells March 3, 2008 at 5:18 PM

This post makes me think about the song Morning After by Eric Roberson. I honestly want my lover to be a best friend. It's something about the first kiss with a friend that makes it feel eternal.

durtymo March 3, 2008 at 6:07 PM

Great Post! My current situation is a friends to lovers type thang! IT IS FANTASTIC! LOL!!! We've been best friends for over 10 years and he just proposed (we've been dating seriously for 3 years).. *sigh*

Muze March 3, 2008 at 6:38 PM

awww good post. it's a sticky situation but seems like it can work out really really good if you both recognize the attraction.

i've never really done that though. i always cut the friend off if he makes an advance. lol.

Skoolboi Krush March 3, 2008 at 6:45 PM

It can work but the timing has to be perfect. If you have the conversation at the wrong time, it can be looked at as a violation of the friendship.

I had one of those situations were my best friend became my lover. We had a romantic weekend but returned to just friend status after that. Today we are still friends.

d'lee trecia March 3, 2008 at 7:32 PM

I only worry about the, would the friendship be ruined?

In my case been friends with a dude for a while... i was feeling him... just the lil thing about dude... i got frustrated and boom years later him say it.. not in many words but my ass can be annoying so lol.... well nothing happened... i'll just say we both got issues...

Queen of My Castle March 3, 2008 at 7:37 PM

Hmmmmm, I'm feeling this one. I have a friend like this, but he's married, and I never get jealous of his wifey, though she doesn't fully trust him around me, so...I dunno, maybe man and women CAN be just friends. LOL

Ms. Lovely March 3, 2008 at 8:02 PM

Oh maaaan. My bestest bestest friend is a guy..And how fitting that he just came up from school in VA to see me this past weekend :) Everyone says we should go out but I just don't see it. He's my homie and all but I just cannot see us---you know. There's a few things about him that would annoy me. Plus, I kinda sorta date his brother, (WHICH he's fine with)..But even if I wanted to---you know...I couldn't cross that line

Mr.Slish March 3, 2008 at 8:21 PM

Sounds like we were on the same page today...I personally think it can work, but both parties have to want the same thing..If not it can be a recipe for the disaster causing the friendship to end...

Afrobabe March 4, 2008 at 4:15 AM

Been dating my best friend for 4 months now and I tell u its not funny at all...he knows all or most of the guys I have dated and sometimes it comes up...he probably imagines me with all those guys....

the number one no no for this kind of relationships...you know too much about each other..

clnmike March 4, 2008 at 6:40 AM

Eck...I prefer to keep friends as friends. If the relationship does not work out the friendship is pretty much dead, no matter how mature the players involved.

Ms. Wright (Hunnie) March 4, 2008 at 8:37 AM

i agree with Afrodite

my best friend is a male and the there have been a couple accusations from friends that we were fooling around and once his mother even suggested that he should marry me. hate to sound juvenile but that was just YUCKIE! Can't do it!

I did have a good friend back in highschool though and we ended up getting together for two years and being eachother's firsts. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Even still today we have the greatest relationship and I'll always have a profound love for him.

Shai March 4, 2008 at 10:02 AM

I was young when I wound up with my bestfriend. We are not together now.

The Jaded NYer March 4, 2008 at 10:40 AM

I tried the friend into lover thing...blew up in my face...

being friends with an old lover, I've done that, too, and it's okay until they start bringing up old stuff that just isn't appropriate anymore.

Ticia March 4, 2008 at 10:42 AM

HAHAHHAHA.. this is so funny!!
I would agree - but my friend that does all this... HE IS GAY! LOL - I love him though- he my perfect boyfriend...that has a boyfriend... LOL

B_More BAP Life March 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM

When I popped over to this blog the other day I was thinking about how a friend of mine had totally been showing clues lately that he was into me, when I read this it felt like confirmation.

Charles March 5, 2008 at 11:01 AM

I don't think friends should transcend that boundary. Me and my best fried tried that, and things were good for a long time, then somehow things fell apart, and in the end, I lost a girlfriend and a best friend. So, I had no one to confide in and ask what to do when it all went down. I say negative.

bri.chic March 5, 2008 at 7:09 PM

Wow... how ironic, I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday. My bestest friend is a guy and I love him to death. Can't imagine life without him. We got into it for like a week and I was miserable. But, even with all that said... I don't know if we could ever be together. He's never even hinted around that he would like to take it there... and I wouldn't DARE!!

karrie b. March 5, 2008 at 10:38 PM

this never worked for me. everything u listed is true, but it never worked for me, the whole 'friends turn to lovers' thing...sorry to rain on everyones parade...

-karrie b.

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