Ugh... Eb almost had to choke a b*tch

So remember ol' girl I left at the comedy club that night... the one that's always getting drunk and want to close the club down... the one who I emailed the article about the chick getting killed in Spotlight.... Ok... yeah you remember...

So I went out with this chick last night. It's usually a couple of us... but last night it was just me and her... Work night right... so I thought she would be a little more light on the drinking for the evening. Even though she had a blunt and some vodka and cranberry in the cab ride to the club, she said that she was leaving by 2 because she has been warned already about being late to work...

Cool with me because I never stay all night. We get there... are having a good time... have a couple drinks... then some people we knew showed up... they buy us our next round... that was my last drink of the night. So I had a total of 2 kettle one cosmos, and 2 corona's with grenadine and lime. Oh and I had a glass of Moscato before I left the

I see ol' girl getting to the point of crossing over. Our people leave at 2 so I alert her... yo its 2 we probably need to be leaving.. She goes... nah, I aint leaving until they play my song. (Rick Ross - Here I am) So I go and request it. Why 5 minutes later she goes and sneaks in the deejay booth... stands up there for about 10 minutes talking to the deejay... I'm like OMG.

Then she comes out and wants to go straight to the bar. So I'm like NO your not getting anything else to drink. She's like I'm good. I'm like NO its time to go. So her knowing me... she's like well leave then. I ain't ready to go yet... So I explain to her that if it wasn't for that ish at Spotlight I would have been left her arse right there in the club and she know that. At this point chick is really testing me because I only have so much patience... and I ain't no damn babysitter for a grown ass woman.

So since I wont let her get to the bar... she sneaks in the VIP section. There is only this rich white man in there with a couple hoochie chicks and his bodyguard... So I'm looking at the body guard like you ain't gonna kick her out... she's not suppose to be there. He says he's not a bouncer so as long as she's chill he doesn't care.

Then one of the bouncers I know that works at the club walks up and is like Eb you cool... you look stressed. So I tell him what's going on so he tells her she has to leave. Do you know this chick flipped out on him... completely flipped. He escorts her to the foyer in the front of the club and we're there for another 15-20 minutes... saying she wants the number to the club to make a complaint because he had no right to kick her out... blah blah blah..

Then this bitch had the nerve to say she wasn't leaving with me... she was getting it her own cab by her damn self. WTH... whew... she really testing my patience now. So I waited til her ass got in the cab and drove off and then got my own.

Can you believe this ish...

I wasn't even going to blog about it... because I was like this chick is just plain ridiculous and I didn't even have the energy... But then my roommate just comes in my room and is like guess who called me at 3:30 this morning... drunk girl. Saying she ain't ever going out with you no more because you embarrassed her in the club and had mad people looking at her like she was the crazy drunk chick and that I made my bouncer friend kick her out the club.

Lawd lawd lawd... I had to woosahhh to keep from calling this chick and cussing her arse out. Can you believe her? I can't even believe she had the nerve to say she wasn't going out with ME anymore... Chick don't even have to worry about it because she wont get an invite to go anywhere with me ol' drunken bitch. Truth be told if you can't hold your liquor you don't need to go out. The rare times that I do get tipsy... I know when I am at my limit. But this is a every damn time we go out thing... I ain't dealing with the bull no more...

Ugh... I had to get that ish out... oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh she done made me mad.

Bout to go hit up a happy hour now!


Beautifully.Conjured.Up August 13, 2008 at 6:11 PM

LMAO......she had the audacity to imply it was your fault!!!!

You are a good one 'cause I would have called her to tell her about herself.

Anonymous August 13, 2008 at 6:12 PM

Girl, you said it right. Goin' out with her is bad biz...she liable to get her a$$ kicked by you or one of them bodyguards and she'll really make the news.

It sucks being the sober person(or at least more sober person) in the group. It's then that you realize how stupid people are when they're drunk.


IntrospectiveGoddess August 13, 2008 at 6:14 PM

Let it all out girl! You one better than me cuz I would have left her ass when she was in the DJ booth....but honestly if I knew it was just gonna be me and her I probably wouldnt have went cuz shes a hot mess...but her calling someone else and telling them that I embarrassed her? Oh Hellz No..I would have called her and cussed her out and been like u bet not let me catch yo drunk ass in the street!

Eb the Celeb August 13, 2008 at 6:21 PM

@intro - this was the first and last time... I already knew she had got warned at work about being late and has to be in the office at 8 in the morn so I figured she would be cool... but obviously I was wrong

K. August 13, 2008 at 6:25 PM

oh lawd...she one of those angry belligerent drunks. that was all just too damn much! i bet $5 she'll be calling you in a week on some "oooh girl lets go out." LOL!

nikki August 13, 2008 at 6:31 PM

yeah, you're better than me. she would have got the double-play...cuss out AND the cut. fuck that.

good riddance.

Mizrepresent August 13, 2008 at 6:35 PM

Oh yeah, time to kick her to the curb! Pronto!

Ms. Lovely August 13, 2008 at 6:53 PM

whoa..see that's why I hate going out w/ppl who let the ack-a-hol make them ack-a-fool..I woulda told ole girl about herself

and you are killin me slowly with the "woosah" lol

kiki August 13, 2008 at 6:59 PM

LOL dang Eb you got power like that you just got the chick thrown out the club .....happy hour will make you forget all that mess

Anonymous August 13, 2008 at 7:36 PM

LMAO! Girl, you did a good job. Because from what I've picked up on from your personality, home girl was real lucky.

Boo to people who go out and get stupid drunk during post-college years. Stumbling ceases to be cute after a certain age.

The F$%K it List August 13, 2008 at 8:13 PM

Drunk Girl = Trouble. And she got some nerve blaming anyone but herself . You did good by not leaving her but make it the last time because she clearly is one of those "it won't happen to me" chicks.

A Go Bytch August 13, 2008 at 8:36 PM


Skoolboi Krush August 13, 2008 at 8:46 PM

I give it six months before we hear about y'all kicking it again and the same thing happening.

i.can't.complain. August 13, 2008 at 9:17 PM


lmao at u seeing her "crossing over"


glad u did your whoo-saah and got back 2 neutral.

and that u didn't choke-slam the chick


(vixenchick) August 13, 2008 at 9:36 PM

Toxic friends are so not the business.

Super Dave Van Buren August 13, 2008 at 9:52 PM

lol... you gotta love drunk people. Hopefully she will sober up and call too apologize. Then again she sounds like a professional drunk so maybe not.

clnmike August 13, 2008 at 9:54 PM

Lol, how that Kiesha Cole song go?

Let it go?

Let her ass go.

The Jaded NYer August 13, 2008 at 10:12 PM

you should have left her ass as soon as you noticed she wasn't keeping to her 2AM decision... forget that news article.

She's a grown ass woman and you are not responsible for her. You made an effort and she resisted... I would have put up the peace sign right then and been GHOST! let her drunk ass deal with the consequences solo!

but whatever... at least you don't have to concern yourself with her anymore...

CapCity August 13, 2008 at 11:24 PM

What I really can't believe is that u still hang with her... c'mon u can admit part of u enjoys that crazy b.s. ;-)...

12kyle August 13, 2008 at 11:58 PM

it's quite obvious that you care more about her well being than she does.

Anonymous August 14, 2008 at 12:15 AM

This sort of Faulty Bullshit ass bullshit is why I cut Drunky off for good out of my life, no more effing drama, I'm off the Baby sitting duty

hey! August 14, 2008 at 1:06 AM

girl let them know!

sometimes you just need to let it out and we are always here to listen. sorry i got here mad late though.


allienicole August 14, 2008 at 2:18 AM

ol drunken bitch...

LMAO!! girl i am DYING!!!!!!! hahaha

dejanae August 14, 2008 at 4:42 AM

someone needs to get their ass to an AA meeting

Sweet KeiKei August 14, 2008 at 5:14 AM

i was lmao @ "ol drunken bitch" lol

but seriously though my older cousin taught me that everyone in my life has their place. some friends are good for advice. some good to club with. some to go to the gym with and some to go to church with. put ol girl in her place and leave her there.

Eb the Celeb August 14, 2008 at 8:05 AM

@lovely - you laughing but that woosah mess really works... it has saved plenty from getting their arse whoooped

@kiki - nah... I just knew the head bouncer for that night... I cant do that at any club in NYC

@krush - you think I'm a nice chick or something... not happening... when I say I'm done its a wrap... we do have a couple mutual friends and I wont doubt that we wont end up at the same event again but it wont be Eb the one who is babysitting her ass...

@Dave - professional drunk is an understatement.. she even admitting to drink 5-6 days out of the week, every week... that is craziness..

@Capcity - Nada... do not enjoy it at all... the prob was this was the 1st time it was just me and her... usually its a group of us and I leave it to everyone else to deal with her and I leave when I'm good and ready so I never see all this. I'm sure now that only our gay friends is left standing dealing with her after I am already in my bed because I cant see any of our other friends putting up with that either

anonymousnupe August 14, 2008 at 11:15 AM

She's proly a registered organ donor, too, but they'll all be pickled and wasted away to nothing, completely unusable, by the time hers are ready to be harvested.

Ticia August 14, 2008 at 11:22 AM

Geez - she is a FEWL!!!

I guess thats your last time going out with her -

MP August 14, 2008 at 11:34 AM

OH HELL NO!!! You are way more patient than I am. Me and old girl would not be kicking it anymore ever!

T.C. August 14, 2008 at 11:41 AM

INCREDIBLE! but that's how it least you KNOW what the real deal was and you did in fact do the right thing...because in the state she was in who KNOWS what could have happened to her...i am just glad that you got her in a cab and you got home...and thank goodness "you don't have to worry about her handing with you anymore"....CLASSIC

Shy August 14, 2008 at 11:45 AM

That sucks for real! Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved, then she goes and says you messed up HER night?! WHOA! Anyhoo, You tried, Eb...that's all you can do is try.

Anonymous August 14, 2008 at 11:51 AM

"ole drunken bitch"...LOL You got my side hurting with that one.

At least you know next time not to go solo with her.

Suite B August 14, 2008 at 1:17 PM

The time has come for you to start treating this chick like some hood rat off the street. I'm serious you can't allow her to go out with you because she sounds like she is 21 acting a damn fool around town like that.

queenbee August 14, 2008 at 2:34 PM

everybody said what I had to say so all imma say is for real, you don't need to go out with shorty no more...I mean, i get drunk too, but when its time to go its time to go...
you would think she woulda learn by now...and its a damn week nite

lol @ "ole drunken bitch"

Seven August 14, 2008 at 2:54 PM

Forget her!!!! Good looking out.

Blu Jewel August 14, 2008 at 2:59 PM

put that chic on the curb with the trash because that's exactly how she's acting anyway. i don't wish it on her, but it'll take something real foul to happen to her before she realizes that you were looking out for her best interests.


n0days0ff August 14, 2008 at 3:29 PM

OH NO SHE DIDNT GIRL!!!!!! wow what a jerk.i hope thats the last time you kick it with her cause she sounds uncontrollable

YoungBlackBeauty August 14, 2008 at 4:01 PM

O no mam! I would have called her as bright and and woke ur arse up out of that hangover and dawged her out. I wish a chick would try me like that and then try to claim me as a friend.

Lovebabz August 14, 2008 at 4:44 PM

You did a good thing. She can't appreciate it in a drunken state. But whn it wears off and it will...she will be apologetic and prhaps a bit ashamed.

You are good friend. Don't roll out with her ever again.

soumynona August 14, 2008 at 5:16 PM

WOW Eb, I'm like any moment now EB is gonna have to Wayne Brady a Ho bag but you kept your cool and God given patience. You are too nice sweets, next round on me =>

Keli August 14, 2008 at 5:23 PM

Much stronger woman than me...we both would have been kicked out the club...because I would have choked her azz...

I have a friend that I have had to take home twice...she drives, then she gets sloppy pissy drunk, then I have to see her home...I get so tired of this are a grown azz woman, handle business.

Your "friend" is out of control.

Crys.C August 14, 2008 at 6:45 PM

You're such a good friend.
I would've left her ass right there..

Sweet KeiKei August 14, 2008 at 6:52 PM

on sum real ish i had to come back & commend u for doing the right thing all the way to seeing her get in a separate cab & everything. you must have really felt sum type of way after what happened after kim party.

faith August 14, 2008 at 7:19 PM

drop ol' girl. she is bad business FOR REAL. You did the right thing but unfortunately it sounds like she will have to learn the hard way.

PrettyBlack August 14, 2008 at 9:18 PM

Nothing lower class than a bitch that can't handle her damn liquor...I've been tipsy plenty times in my drinking days but it never showed until I got home.

She's not even worth the drama. A bitch should know when to shut it down...

Anonymous August 15, 2008 at 12:01 AM

This is kinda reckless. Everything you don't want to go down when out at the club. A real quick buzz kill. Definitely not what's up...

Nigerican August 15, 2008 at 12:25 AM

Eb sweety, i do blame u tho... stop going out with this chick 4 real! she's gonna get ya'll hurt one day with all her drama... sneaking into v.i.p WTH.

Then she takes her own cab... cut her out 4 real, cus she didn't mind leaving u... even tho u hung around 4 her crazy ass. Now i'm mad!

karrie b. August 15, 2008 at 11:49 AM


but seriously, u cant take bitches no where. i'm mad she raised hell about being kicked out instead of taking her azz home.


Nina August 15, 2008 at 5:06 PM should call and cuss at her, just on gp.

G-Sweet August 16, 2008 at 5:51 AM

hahahahahaha @ "ol' drunken bitch"

DollFace August 16, 2008 at 10:01 AM

A damn shame. Draft starts in 2. I'm the rookie and I'm still going to get all in that arse!



Eh...we'll see!


Veronica Wright August 20, 2008 at 8:35 AM

damn drunkies!!!!!!!!!

don't go out with that broad no more...LOL

Help keep this site up and running

and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers