I got 99 problems but a d*ck ain't one... HIT ME!!!

I want to have a guy I'm feelin that has his ish together and then another one waiting in the wings (that also has his ish together) when the current one messes up or starts to bore me...Nah... I'm just playing... but that's what that pic reminds me of. So here goes...

I've been complaining about not getting enough attention from men... and how my dating life has been the masterpiece of minimalism lately and then bam... men are starting to annoy me from so much attention... and my boys trying to tell me that I am ungrateful. NO... I AM NOT... it's just because it's raining... why can't it sprinkle a lil bit... why it got to be a monsoon.

OK so let me explain. We are going to talk about the 3 new boo's I have in my life... and then an old on-going boo.

Remember ol' boy I met at Lloyd's album release party a couple weeks ago. Tall with the locks. His blog name shall be Thuggin' boo. He is such a thug. Fo' real. First week we exchanged numbers we played a little bit of phone tag. The second and third week we talked like twice (and that is good enough for me) and we got up for the first time on Friday. A friend of mine was performing at Sugar Bar so he met me there. We had a good time, but he tried to explain his career as investing in things. WTF does that mean? But he's in school. So I'm like... I don't get it but its too early to be asking extensive questions anyway... so just let it flow and have a good time at the bar. He is 24, has a daughter, and although he has locks... which I am not a fan of... he's a cutie. Remember I had a problem with his cell phone. So yeah... I said oh you got a new phone... and he was like... oh that was a throw away... I'm about to get rid of this one soon. OK-OK-OK hold up... When I hear throw away phone I think of the Wire. I know ya'll remember that episode. So yeah... but he's cool though... we had a good time and he already called asking when we are going to chill again. But ummm... iono bout this thuggish part. I mean that ish was cool when I was in college but I'm grown now... yeah he in school so I guess he trying to change his pace but um... iono. Definitely gon chill wit em again though...lol

Next up is Young'n Boo. The 21 year old. I still feel like a child molester every time I talk to him on the phone but he is a funny lil critter, and to his credit he doesn't really act like he's that young but still. That's just going to be for fun... to remind me that I still got it every time I am feeling like I'm getting old. I've had to check ol' boy a couple times about his mom though. I guess she just walked in his room without knocking or something when we were on the phone and he said something slick to her. I had to put the smack down and let him know he better not be disrespecting his mom... that's her house... and if you don't like it you can get out. Hell, that's what my mama used to tell us...lol. Ain't no privacy in my house...I can hear her now. What was really funny when he came home and we were on the phone and he went in the freezer to get his icecream and his mom ate it already. Whew that convo was hella funny, his voice got all high pitched when he tried to approach her about it... and again... she let it be known it was her house and everything up in it is hers whether he bought it or not... too funny.

Last and right now least is Bugaboo. This is Mr. NC that just moved to NYC 2 weeks ago. I just met him last week at a cook out and I thought he was going to be cool beans. New to the city so he hasn't been corrupted yet... Paralegal thinking about going to Law School... has his masters... I was like bruh got his ish together. Then I thought... ol' boy single though... how can that be? In one week I figured it out. Because he is a damn Bugaboo... so until he proves otherwise that shall be his blog name. This nig has called me everyday except yesterday since we've met. I ain't the type of chick that wants to sit on the phone and talk all damn day.

First offense was Tuesday when he left a message dang I ain't talked to you all day today. Like dude, I've known you 2 days... why do you feel the need that we need to talk every day. We talked Wed. late at night. Do you know he called again on Thursday at 10something in the morning. Left a message. Called again at 12something... I sent him to VM again because I was like ol' boy cant be serious. Do you know this fool called again at like 9 something that night and left another message like damn... ma I was just trying to holla at you today... I don't want to seem worseome so I'll just get at you tomorrow. Well you passed the worseome test with flying colors. I couldn't believe it. Then when he called on Friday... I tried to nicely let him know that we don't have to talk everyday. I mean the dude is 28 so its freaking me out a lil bit all the attention he is showing me so quick. I mean I know I am used to these NYC dudes who are feeling themself... and he's a country boy so its going to be different... but I went to college in NC... and it ain't THAT damn different. Ol' boy might just be crazy. He said him and his baby mama got into it one time and he almost messed up his future... she called the police... he got arrested but she dropped the charges. Never said exactly what he did but said he spazzed... WTH!

So those are the boo's. Then we have the on-going jump off. The one that everyone thinks I need to be dating. The investment banker. I don't think I've named him yet either... so I am going to name him, NO NO NO. He's the one who we actually chill outside the bedroom and have a good time together just never take each other seriously. We tell each other all our business... we even are going to go to the sex museum together since I have tix and Semipro messed up his chances of being my date for that. He plays in a little fake intramural football league... and said he wanted me to come to a game. If we actually took each other seriously... we could be hella fierce. He likes doing crazy and fun stuff like me, paintball, rock climbing, he loves to travel. But his name is NO NO NO because it would never work. We both know that so we just like chilling when its convenient for us, no pressure... just a good time. He has been trying to get up with me all week. Told me he missed me... that was a first... but I ain't dumb... its been a minute since he got the goods... so you know I set him straight... you don't miss me fool... you miss that wet wet that's all. But he came to get me on Saturday on his motorcycle... I love love loved it. Hadn't been on a bike since I moved to NYC. Road for about an hour and then had a late lunch. It was cute.

Now with that being said... I still ain't had a real damn date all summer, and what I got like a week left now so chances are slim. Maybe I will buy me an escort.

Reminder that this wed its going down... my happy hour!

53 comments

Mizrepresent August 24, 2008 at 12:07 PM

Hey Eb, what's up girl! First of all, 21...(ummm, living with mom)...gurl, that might be fun...but not you. And Thugboo, gurl, you already see that Flashing red sign...beware. Believe me the first to go would be Bugaboo...CUT! Now, mr. NONONO, really sounds like Mr. Right, so why y'all playing. No dates, neverless it has been an interesting summer, don't you think?

Keli August 24, 2008 at 12:10 PM

No NO No, sounds more like Yes Yes Yes!

Whatcha fighting for?


and don't feel bad about the young'n...I damn near had a 25 yr old on my team (he's still a prospect), and mama is 33, ha!...but I be damned if I have a 25 yr old living at home with moms, lol.

Eb the Celeb August 24, 2008 at 12:21 PM

OK I guess I glamorized NO NO NO... it aint even that type of party... he is a pimp... a true ladies man... knows he has it going on... but instead of dogging he treats all his ladies like a lady when he's with them... when he does settle down he goes hard for his lady but he is in playa mode right now... so he is a NO NO NO... catching feeling for him would be hella trouble... but I know when I chill with him that chivalry is not dead.

Super Dave Van Buren August 24, 2008 at 12:25 PM

lmao@ young dude getting pissed because his mom ate the ice cream. those are the breaks!!!

clnmike August 24, 2008 at 1:03 PM

What the hell i cam running when I saw this title and I get this, lol.

Trust me better to have a flood than a drought.

Mr. Thug

Good move taking it slow there.

Mr 21

Needs to be in the planning stages of out the house if not doing it.

But your young too so enjoy but make sure if it progresses that he understands that your home is not away from home. He should feel how it is to pays some bills by himself first.

Mr. Bug

Might be lonely and your only friend in the city.

Or he could be lame good luck with that.

Seven August 24, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Have fun chica. I feel like its raining men over here. So much I can't keep track. Someone called me last night and I hadto have him jog my memory. I have way too much going on to be thinking about anyone at the moment. However, I do miss the attention.

12kyle August 24, 2008 at 2:03 PM

Sounds like you're 1 for 4. Not good percentages. The investment banker sounds like a better canidate for a date (or more).

Leave the other dudes alone. Who wants a thug? C'mon Eb. You don't wanna be around a dude like that. A thug? Hellz no. Never know when he'll have you have you caught up in some bs that you can't get out of

Ms. Lovely August 24, 2008 at 2:14 PM

Dam Eb i need to be standing up under your cloud cause i'm in a straight up drought! But I feel you..I know the minute dudes start hopping out the woodwork, like roaches with the lights turned off, that imma be whining "it's tooo much"..A nice drizzle is always good. Ok, on with the boo critiques

Thuggin Boo
Love the thugs err once in awhile but he seems a lil shady throwin phones away and whatnot..

YoungNBoo
See idk...Sometimes they seem mature but always keep that pacifier handy because their asses will turn into a baby right before your eyes..

Bugaboo
Oooh I had me one of those. They are so sweet but damnit if they don't get a clue. Be careful and don't lead him on. Give em' a lil rope and they try to hang themselves (or you lol)

NO NO NO
he seems like fun plus you getting the D?!..you betta keep him around!

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon August 24, 2008 at 2:31 PM

I date them young.
And when I was 31 I was seeing a guy 23.
It was what it was. I knew I would never settle down with him just wanted to have fun.
Now at 36 I am trying to tame my wild ways when it comes to men and can't find what I want in just one.
It seems like I attract all the wrong ones.

The thug, the playas, the scared to committ, the when I got time I'll call, the I ain't got no job.

Girl, you doing better than me.

Miss Foxxy August 24, 2008 at 3:45 PM

lol @ young'n boo.. i dunno if i could ever be with a younger guy. i mean, esp if he was mentally young.. i can't handle feeling like i'm raising a kid, haha.

and i've known sooo many bugaboos! it's not a good look to be blowin' up someone's phone like that.. it's like, damn, homie.. FALL BACK!

and i cosign with the others who said you better keep NO NO NO around.. you gettin' the goods, having fun, but minus the drama/stress/bullshit that comes with a real relationship.. that's a keeper until you DO find someone :) haha.

Thoughts of a Southern gal August 24, 2008 at 3:46 PM

I'm experiencing a drought this way. I just don't have time for bs. Come correct or don't come at all.

Thug Boo, let that go. He seems to be up to know good with his throw aways.

Young'n Boo, the way he talks to his mom is a sign. And what is he doing to get out his mom's house?
But he should be fun just to kick it with every once in a while.

Bugaboo, I think we have all had one of those. He seems too damn clingy. And crazy if he's spazzing out. Girl he is telling you he's crazy! Run Eb run!

No No No, sounds like he has potential. At least you know he's a playboy and know not to ge too caught up with him.

kiki August 24, 2008 at 4:02 PM

thugginboo
may be doing something else to make money


YoungNBoo
I feel you on your young boo, I felt so bad for talking to a guy who was 19 I was 22 at the time and him and my little brother being the same age ...i felt like a perv

but guys that young give you all there attention

Buga boo
he's crazy

CCGroovy!!! August 24, 2008 at 5:36 PM

Eb, Baby; if U have room on the schedule for 1 more; could I be your older, tryna get myself together to make some thangs happen, slightly challenged ATL boo? I got a HANDICAPPED Parking tag, so we will always get the best parking spots. Aaaaannnnd, a brotha got food stamps; so we always eatin' right!!!

Blu Jewel August 24, 2008 at 5:54 PM

OMG! This was some funny ish to read. Thug-boo sounds like he's got some interesting stuff going on with him; and yes, I immediately recalled the episode of The Wire. Young-boo is a mess; acting all stank with moms. He sounds like fun, but they get attached easy, so be careful. Bugaboo would have been told already. I don't even get down like that.

I've got a Cosy-Friend boo - been friends for years, we have a blast together, but I don't see myself with him.

Jamaica boo (JA-boo) - the one I chill with when I'm in Jamaica

Current boo - the one i'm digging right. Jamaican, 6/3, 210lbs, and chocolate...yumby!!

Love!

(vixenchick) August 24, 2008 at 6:35 PM

I'm thinking you should date the investment banker. He sounds like a winner, gurl!

afrodisiac August 24, 2008 at 8:33 PM

You need to teach me how to be like you! But I can't do the youngbloods tho' ;)

One Man’s Opinion August 24, 2008 at 8:34 PM

Look at Eb being all pimpish and ish. I think the title was cool and it was true too. 21, huh? You practicing to be a cougar? LOL. I never swas the wire, but I am assuming the throw down phone and the wire all relates to drug dealing...at least that is the implication. Am I right. Oh, and the last guy...be afraid, be very afraid. Sounds like an abruser to me.

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress August 24, 2008 at 9:29 PM

Dang girl, pass some of them men this way..just kidding. Keep having fun!!

Keith August 24, 2008 at 9:43 PM

Damn girl, they must've seen those pictures of you in that dress.-lolol..Thanks for stopping by my site today!
You beatin the guys off with a stick huh? Enjoy it while it lasts, but just remember, winter is comin..gotta have someone to snuggle up with on a cold night.
Make a decision soon.-lol.

The Jaded NYer August 24, 2008 at 9:51 PM

girl why you say you ain't have a real date yet? that motorcycle ride and then lunch? that sounds cool as hell. just pick that dude already! lol

DollFace August 24, 2008 at 10:25 PM

All I can say is...ROFLMBAO!!!!! Did you invite any out to Happy Hour?

I guess my "good luck" with the fellas rubbed off on you Miss Lady! Sorta;-) I may need it back though.

RealHustla August 24, 2008 at 10:53 PM

You know you need to drop them all. Maybe bugaboo will calm down a bit, but the other, are ya kiddin' me?

-::brown sugar::- August 25, 2008 at 1:41 AM

OK! "Bugaboo" sounds kinda crazy and scary...lol...stalker perhaps pops in my head..i dont know...but be careful with that one...dont let your guard down.

Young'n Boo is well just that. the name fits. but perhaps maybe fun to play with? ^_^

but sounds like you got your hands full lol...

on a sidenote: i too HATE talking on the phone lol...


GODD LUCK! : )

remorji August 25, 2008 at 5:05 AM

Mr. Thug is hiding something, go with your instincts. Young'n Boo still with his mother, enought said. Mr. NC, that brother has stalker written all over him, Get away, get far away! Mr. NO NO NO, I agree with Mizrepresent. Get on that with the quickness.

Eb the Celeb August 25, 2008 at 9:08 AM

LMAO @ CCgroovy

AND

LMAO @ anyone who thought I was taking any one of these dudes seriously... you should have gotten that from the title... just wanted to highlight how lame my dating selections are at the moment

@Clnmike - gotcha with the title didn't I. Well sorry you were disappointed but it was fitting...lol

@Ms Lovely - Yes girl... I feel so bad because Bugaboo is a sweetie but I had to let him know that being anxious is NOT sexy at all. He seems to have some things going for him so he just needs to be easy or I will be running fast.

@Sharon - Thx for assuring me that I am NOT the only one that attracts "
The thug, the playas, the scared to committ, the when I got time I'll call, the I ain't got no job."

because I thought I had a stamp on my forehead or something since those are the only ones that ever
holla

@One Man - I'm hoping that I will have a man by then so I wont have to be a cougar...lol

@Keith - I'm trying to find someone to cuddle with but if this is the selection I have I will just cuddle by my damn self.

@jaded - yes it was hella cute... but I wouldnt consider that a date... just chillin with my homie, lover, friend... maybe I should change his blog name to that... because its more fitting... yeah!

@Dollface - Ha, yes I invited Thuggin Boo to the Happy Hour but he most likely wont come... he lives in jersey... plus the first thing he asked was are people going to be dressed up... I told him he could wear whateva but that most people are coming from work so will be dressed up... so we'll see... he's just so damn cute though... you know I don't like locks so if he has that and I'm even paying 5min of attn he gotta be the bizness...lol

She W0rd Hustlez August 25, 2008 at 9:16 AM

You know what I thank you for writing this blog, because somebody tried to front me on basically keeping my options open. So this right here lets me know that it is okay to do so. I mean we're grown and we should be able to pick and choose what it is we really want. I'm pretty sure you've settled enough; as I did. blah.

But um, lmaooo@dude's voice getting high pitched when trying to go off on his mama about icecream. Man oh man. I would've been dying too.

The Diva's Thoughts August 25, 2008 at 10:05 AM

Come by my blog. I have something for youuuuuu! lol

dejanae August 25, 2008 at 11:22 AM

stalkerish tendencies are not a good look

skinnyblackgirl August 25, 2008 at 11:46 AM

Thugboo sounds interesting. I wouldn't ride in his car though. You never know...

Bugaboo is doin' waaaaay too much!!!

Youngnboo sounds adorable. Nothing wrong with playing the cougar role occasionally.

Investment banker reminds me a lot of my CJ. We did that "I don't want to commit to you dance" for a long while but the chemistry was too crazy to resist. Proceed with caution, girl! Lol.

Sass August 25, 2008 at 11:50 AM

girl?! what exactly are u looking for in a "real" date?? dude picked you up and took you to lunch. "lunch dates" dont count?? lol

SistaSocialite August 25, 2008 at 11:54 AM

LOL that's why I don't date young guys... more that likel,they may might not have it all together. I had a bugabo once... you gotta cut em off with the QUICKNESS before they start going extra crazy

Rich August 25, 2008 at 11:58 AM

That's what you get for being Eb the Celeb. Drop them all but Mr. No No No. You know what's up with him and it seems like you get more than the basic movie.

Eb the Celeb August 25, 2008 at 12:09 PM

@sass - he didn't take me to lunch, we were riding and got hungry so we stopped at this lil spot by the crib that is one step up from fast food before he dropped me back off at home... but I guess it was probably the best date I've had all summer if I want to classify it as one

karrie b. August 25, 2008 at 1:13 PM

ughhhhh i'm going to BBQs on wednesday. it woulda been nice to hang witcha girlie.

-KB

KoffeeDyme August 25, 2008 at 1:25 PM

girl.. the last option is interesting... riding on his bike.. late lunch.. that's a doggone date!!! But yeah i hear you.. hang out with him more often.. its nice to be treated like a princess/queen whichever one it is...

MP August 25, 2008 at 2:21 PM

LMAO @ you calling your young'n a little critter!

contagiouslyCRANKY August 25, 2008 at 2:46 PM

im mad at the buy me an escort comment. Im gonna have to say yes to Mr. Thug boo< he sounds sexy. No to 21 year old boo.... Hell MF'n no to the stalker niggah (he isnt in the boo category)and yes again to NO NO NO boo...

nikki August 25, 2008 at 3:26 PM

from here on i'm calling 21 year old 'lil man' cuz he jus SO CUTE as he tries to assert himself to his momz. FUNNY. yeah, that one is just for kicks.

bugaboo...EWWW. u gonna give him the cut, right?

Mr.Slish August 25, 2008 at 4:05 PM

Go older Eb date someone older than you....The youngins don't have a clue...

Question how come you and the corporate dude don't take each other seriously...I sense a back story in there somewhere...

Eb the Celeb August 25, 2008 at 6:12 PM

Mr SLish - trust if I had that option I would... I never get dudes 27-35 hollering at me... I get ones that look older than my daddy... ewe... and I am immediately disgusted... I dont need a sugar daddy but I do want a real man... what happened to you hooking me up huh?

Ok so me and corporate dude hung in the same circle when I first moved to NYC 4 years ago. That's how we met... in a big group... we all always went out as friends... I was going threw ish with my ex at the time, he had just had a break up and we never even planned on hooking up... the first time and neither had any complaints. Then it became more of a convenient booty call situation because we lived 5min from each other... Then we both got in relationships again...

IDK, we just never did the getting to know each other mess... we know things about each other because we're just friends like that and we confide in each other with info that others in the clique dont know but its just complicated... IDK how to explain it

Brianna August 25, 2008 at 6:59 PM

ok, I can maybe understand a 21 year old if he lived on his own, but NOT if he lives with his mama!!! yikes!

bummer about No,No,No though.

Eb the Celeb August 25, 2008 at 7:03 PM

@briana- him living at home doesnt even faze me and its truly sad... but the fact of the matter is... the majority of men that live in nyc and were born and raised in nyc...and never left or went away for college and sometimes if they did leave for college and moved right back after... live with their mama's until they're about 25... some of my best friends... lived with their mama's until they were 25... nyc is such an expensive place to live they would rather spend their dough on a brand new car than on rent... its not like they can invest in buying a house at our age...

Glennisha Morgan August 25, 2008 at 7:39 PM

Ummm the 21 w/ his mom situation off rip sounds crazy like, I don't think I could be on the phone while a dude is at home giving his mom lip about some ice cream. I'd be like straight up?

Bugaboo! OMG! Girl u need to run for you life dude is crazy and seems like the stalker type! LOL.
It's kinda not funny cause he has tendacies!

It seems like NY would be raining with qualified men but, IDK just be patient girl!

cherry's kid August 25, 2008 at 8:15 PM

bwahahahaha....you definitely need the monsoon instead of the driplets...you get frustrated fast...and be careful when the monsoon ends and the driplets begin...that's when you get scared like wtf!!!!

Mr. Thug - Run! And Run like you're Jamaican and in the Olympics!!!!

21s are cute until you get in the bedroom and they get confused....like you want me to do what....LOL!

Bugaboo definitely has to go NOW! NOW! Period end of discussion...

I love No No No Guys they are always a great off the bench player for the last 5 seconds of the game or last week of the summer...smile!

Ms. Liryc August 26, 2008 at 12:28 AM

Hey Eb, I may have to make that Wednesday afterwork spot!

Ok, about your boos.. I know what you mean but right now I am going through a drought and I kinda miss having them around! But on to the dilemma at hand. Your first thug boo, cut him loose, cause he's got some shady business.. that throw away phone..hmmmm.. watched to many episodes of the WIRE to trust that! Though he's in school, I still don't trust his extracurricular activities!

Your young boo, um.. he's got some potential cause he's young but the screaming mom thing,that gets old quick..

The bugaboo.. yeah he has got to go! GOT TO GO!!!! Kick him to the curb! Whats the need to call you a million times a day! WHY!!! Seriously! Tell him GO AWAY!

Good luck on your pursuit, but if your "bedroom buddy" has the best potential and he's handling everything else try making him the main squeeze he may be just the person to take your breath away! You never know.. Give it a shot!

Eb the Celeb August 26, 2008 at 1:15 AM

@cherry's kid - yeah... 21 has already expressed his lack of knowing his way around the bedroom... talkin some he dont give head... so I'm like CHECK PLEASE and NEXT!!!But really and truly I was not even thinking of going there with him anyway... I would truly feel like a child molester

@lyric - definitely come on wed.... its always a good time!

Ms. Lee August 26, 2008 at 2:17 AM

Hey Eb! I know you don't know me. But I've been lurking on Google Reader and your title cracked me the fu*k up.

I really think you should scratch the other Boos and see what Bank-a-boo has to offer. He's smart, cute, and sexable... Last I heard that was a great thing!

Love your style. I'll be around!

The F$%K it List August 26, 2008 at 7:04 AM

Hmmm just have fun with the young one. you are not looking for commitment yet and he can offer that.

No stalker dudes, you can't ignore the calls you need to tell him straight out PLEASE STOP CALLING thank you!

MISS*Petite August 26, 2008 at 11:15 AM

lol..."why can't it sprinkle a lil bit" i love that. I can see ur frustration. It's either all or nothing. hate that

Cat August 27, 2008 at 8:44 AM

When it rains it pours and then goes to a drought and then a hurricane. Hardly is it ever, especially for us single chicks, a sunny day with a mid day sprinkling. Just bring your umbrella and wear plenty of hair spray! Think I took that anology to far haha

One Ten August 27, 2008 at 10:00 AM

I kind of sympathize with ol' dude that's 21 and currently with his moms; but I'm in school currently, so I'm only with her in the summer. LOL. But yeah, how a guy treats his mother is how he will treat you, so I definitely understand that you had to check him.

With regards to NO NO NO, I don't see what's so bad about him. In comparison to the other guys, he's probably the best option. Then again, don't settle. You say you don't feel like you're compatible and it won't work, and who knows best but you? You have to date him, not your friends recommending him. So do you girl!!!!

Soulstress August 27, 2008 at 12:23 PM

Dang Eb..can u let me give sum of that rain ovr here;) lol

U kno aint nuthin wrong w. havin a few boos til sum1 u wanna get serious w/ comes along.

Shooo..the way investment banker sounds...u mite wanna consider changing him from No No No..to Mayb Mayb Mayb lol. Why do u think it wont work?

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