I'm moving... so that I can nab me a man

So in NYC alone, there are 36% more single black women then men.

But I found out from a study (granted it was in the late 90's... but I'm hoping it hasnt changed too much) the following:

In San Diego, the single Black male population actually exceeds that of Black females. According to the Census figures, there are 100 eligible Black men between the ages of 18 and 34 for every 57 single Black women in the same age category.

Norfolk, Va., New Orleans and Baltimore, are the next three cities in the rankings. Women outnumber men in those communities, but the ratio between them is relatively close.

So if anyone has hook-ups on jobs... in those cities (except New Orleans, I need to move to a place that has the least amount of natural disasters as possible)

Ya'll know I'm playing right... you CANNOT find happiness when chasing after a man or looking to damn hard for one either. So I guess I will just come to grips with the fact that I will be sharing until I trap somebody into putting a ring on this finger... with that said though... there are rules to the sharing.. and this anonymous thought to ponder puts it so gracefully.

Don't make someone a priority
if they only make you an option

So although I may be sharing... I better be #1 on the list dammit!

One more Thought to Ponder just because I am loving myself extra hard right now so that I don't let problems I'm facing take my joy away. I'm still going to shine!

"Show me a person not full of herself, and I'll show you a hungry person."
~Nikki Giovanni


The True Urban Queen aka Sharon September 3, 2008 at 6:17 PM

Don't make someone a priority
if they only make you an option

That one hit my heart hard.

On another note:
I am moving from my city cause I am tired of it and I hate it. But the only one on this list I might consider is Norfolk.

Are they good black men?
Was that in the survey. Job, car, not living w/momma, not fresh from prison.

Anonymous September 3, 2008 at 6:25 PM

LOL @ sharon...

That first quote is truth...

I had a laugh because I was telling myself while watching the news on the strom in new orleans.. I would never move down there.. with all that madness.(cali, Fla.. and wherever else its warm).. Seems only Toronto that seems safe.. but nothing ever happens here...

Just_Wondering September 3, 2008 at 6:28 PM

Wow for a minute there I really thought you were going to leave NYC to find you a man! Whew! I was like HUH?? That's interesting that those cities you mentioned have a lot more men to pick from. I wonder if more black women in those places are actually married vs the NYC area?

Thanks for stopping by my page!

contagiouslyCRANKY September 3, 2008 at 6:31 PM

Lawd though it would be nice to have you in Cali YOU NEED NOT move to San Diego... i guarantee you that the 100 black men you find are all whitewashed and prefer the caucasion persuasion to those of the chocolate complexion..DONT WASTE YA TIME

RealHustla September 3, 2008 at 6:34 PM

You might not want to chase after a man, but you don't want to run away from his ass either. Women in San Diego are lucky!

Stew September 3, 2008 at 6:39 PM

i wonder if that would work....moving i mean. i dont know why, but i would think that that would cause more problems.

Eb the Celeb September 3, 2008 at 6:44 PM

@ Sharon - you took the words right out of my mouth... so I found this info

For every 100 single black women, there are 70 single black men, according to recent U.S. Census Bureau figures, a number that does not take into account the prison population, men living in group homes or black men who do not date black women. In the Washington area, there are 83 single black men for every 100 single black women.

So yeah... you gotta be cautious... may be more men in the city but that can also mean more men that are standing on the corner acting as doughboys

@koffeedyme - yeah I lived in NC for a while and one year we had a tropical storm and I thought i was going to die in my dorm room... went outside the next day with a branch that had went threw one of the side windows of my car... so yeah I will take snow in ny over southern storms anyday

@contagiously - I am such an east coast girl that it would have to be to take a life changing catapult me to the next next level type of job to get me to move out there

Mizrepresent September 3, 2008 at 6:48 PM

I see you didn't mention the ATL???? lol, i wonder why?

Eb the Celeb September 3, 2008 at 6:52 PM

@ MizRep - If I dont nab me a new yorker by the time I turn 30... I am moving to ATL... I promise!

I get me a boo everytime I come down there because I am always at a Hawks or Falcons game... tall, sexy chocolate ones too.

I want to buy a house down there anyway... so it will be perfect timing!

Lovebabz September 3, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Well EB the ATL has my vote! I am making my plans now! Inside of 2 years I will be buying something!

ShonaVixen September 3, 2008 at 7:20 PM

Don't make someone a priority
if they only make you an option
thats so true gurl!!and heey gurl u'll find that some-one! xoxo

The F$%K it List September 3, 2008 at 8:28 PM

SMH at trap somebody into putting a ring on this finger HAHAHAH.

You are crazy! but you are point on, if you go chasing a an or looking hard you will miss the one whose looking for you.

RunGirl. September 3, 2008 at 8:29 PM

I don't know about the sharing part, but I feel you on the women outnumbering the men ... only bad thing about living in DC

Chris September 3, 2008 at 9:20 PM

Sometimes I think moving further south would help me find a decent woman, then again, I live in extreme Southern Maryland as is and that ain't workin out, so maybe it's just me, who knows?

And that Nikki quote is BRILLIANT.

Anonymous September 3, 2008 at 9:41 PM

your in NY what you expect? lol I kid

Anonymous September 3, 2008 at 9:53 PM

but still be careful for what you ask for when you are thinking about those other cities. just because there are more men to go around, doesn't mean they are available-if you know what i mean...LOL!

{bee} September 3, 2008 at 10:50 PM

i've heard that priority quote before... its so real... love it!

Spelangel September 3, 2008 at 11:09 PM

i LOVE Nikki Giovanni!! she is my homegirl, she just doenst know it yet, lol...
and while there might be plenty black men in san diego...a lot of them are searching for their own black man...ya know?

Bloggal September 3, 2008 at 11:11 PM

omg, i just saw someone else make a post about nyc being bad for a woman and relationships! the post is at www.funkybrownchick.com what a coincidence lol.

but yes, i'm feeling that quote too. i had to learn the hard way not to make someone else a priority, because i was indeed only an option to him...

great, great post.

sista gp September 3, 2008 at 11:26 PM

I got mine from the ATL, formerly of Cleveland OH.

About the sharing, check out my morning post, "who's on first".

You might want to reconsider.

DollFace September 3, 2008 at 11:46 PM

Ummm...I need to know the breakdown of straight vs gay when discussing these numbers. These cities may be the same as NY!

kiki September 3, 2008 at 11:51 PM

im tellin you Ed go to Ohio or atlanta those brothers have jobs and are gentlemen who know how to treat a girl

PrettyBlack September 3, 2008 at 11:55 PM

Well let me tell you, in San Diego there may be more Black men but believe me there are more than a few that aren't necessarily looking for a Black woman. lol for real.

Anonymous September 4, 2008 at 4:47 AM

damn, i am full of myself.

Veronica Wright September 4, 2008 at 7:55 AM

"In San Diego, the single Black male population actually exceeds that of Black females. According to the Census figures, there are 100 eligible Black men between the ages of 18 and 34 for every 57 single Black women in the same age category. "

BELIEVE ME, either their gay or their focus is not a black woman


Super Dave Van Buren September 4, 2008 at 8:22 AM

B-more has a high STD rate... you might want to cross that off your list.. lol

Eb the Celeb September 4, 2008 at 9:35 AM

@rungirl & sista gp- I was joking about that part... the fact of the matter is the majority of us are sharing... whether we know it or not... until we get married... and then the unlucky ones are still sharing after marriage.

@bloggal - going to check out that site now

@kiki - I cant do Ohio... my mom lived there for 8 years and I hated it... but I am considering ATL... I love that city... when I do make a move away from NY... it will be ATL or Charlotte, NC for sure.

Ms. Behaving September 4, 2008 at 9:50 AM

Damn @ there being 36% more single black women then men.

That is one too many!

Jada September 4, 2008 at 10:57 AM

You are so right about most women sharing their men whether they know it or not. I have a lot of guy friends and they date several women at once, like their trying on shoes to see which one fits the best. While this seems to be the norm, it is a bit disheartening.

Blu Jewel September 4, 2008 at 10:53 PM

i've always liked that quote and i'm always saying, "i won't invest where i won't get any yeild on my return".

i'm a woman who wants a man for sure, but won't settle for any bullshit. dude who i recently posted about in "what freedom feels like" is feeling the warmth of my cold shoulder right now. Sucks to be him...lol!


T.C. September 5, 2008 at 2:06 PM

i ain't settling for nothing, period point blank...either you are going to step up to my standards or you need to step aside...period!!! nothing else needs to be said or discussed...

oh and stay far away from baltimore (HA-that's just the DC native in me)

Cat September 9, 2008 at 9:16 AM

I didn't know there was that large a difference in the NYC. I thought that was the dating mecca! And hey, I'm in baltimore and dating here is so horrendous (for black women that is) that you have to be an "equal opportunity" dater or date men in DC/VA to survive!

kayellejaye September 9, 2008 at 12:15 PM

I knew NYC was bad, but I think the DC/MD/VA area might be worse and Atlanta is worserer. So you might as well stay put.

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