My formulation of requirements

My formulation of requirements

Labels: IDK what to label this / RBW Relationship Talk

So I finished up Steve Harvey's book this past weekend and in Chapter 9 : Men Respect Standards - Get Some, he lists 10 questions to help you really think about things you require in a mate. He leaves space for you to jot the answers down in the book, but I chose to share them with my blog fam. Feel free to partake and list them on your own blogs. So here we go:

1. What specific kind of man are you looking for? (for example, funny? hardworking? generous?)
I'm looking for a man that is honest, fun, likes to travel, loves sports, is spontaneous, ambitious, hard working, tall, chocolate... seriously I could go forever on this one so I'll just stop there.


2. How do you expect to be pursued? (Do you want regular phone calls? Text messages? Dates at least three times a week? Do you want him to always pick up the tab?)
Initially I don't like overload. After I give you my phone number its common courtesy to call within a couple days. If you wait a week to call me, and you weren't all that, chances are that I have forgot who the hell you are anyway. I'm not the type of chick that likes to talk to someone everyday in the early stages, 2-3 times a week is good if the conversation is good. Also initially text messaging does not suffice. How are we going to get to know each other in 140 characters? After we've been out on a date I don't mind it and after a couple dates I'll probably be the one initiating it. In an ideal situation we'd go on say 3 dates/month. That's a little less than once a week. Anymore than that is great but at least that. I definitely think the first 3 dates should be paid by the man. If its a first date and we're not really feelin' each other, I don't mind paying my share because I'll never be seeing you again, but if we're feelin' each other, after the 3rd date, its nothing for me to offer to pay.


3. What level of commitment do you expect? (Do you want an open relationship? Or to date exclusively? Should it be up for discussion?)
I think after 6 months a conversation needs to be had as to what your intentions are with each other and where the situation is going. I'm not in college anymore and not really looking for the casual thing over and over and over again. I'm at a point where I'm not looking for my husband but I am looking to be in a stable relationship for however long it can lasts if the right person comes along.


4. What kind of financial security do you expect this man to have? (Do you want him to be rich? Do you want him to make more money than you? Are you okay with a blue-collar worker?)
I expect him to at least be able to pay his own bills because I'm not paying them. But I don't expect him to be wealthy. I'm on my way to the top so I don't expect anyone to be farther along that I have if they are my age. For the most part, a man's profession doesn't bother me, its the approach. If a fine brother that's a garbage man holla's at me while we're at a happy hour and comes correct and has some engaging conversation, I will entertain the possibility. But if he is trying to holla at me while he's throwing my trash in the back of the stinky leaking truck and pushing the lever down to make the trash disappear into God knows where inside that truck, than he has no chance of getting my number.


5. Do you want a man who wants kids and is family oriented?
Definitely want someone who wants kids and is family oriented. I am very close with my family and am the oldest of 5 siblings with an additional 4 step sisters. I want someone who is comfortable around the big Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners and Memorial Day and 4th of July cook outs.


6. Does he have to be religious/spiritual?
I'm not religious so no, but I do want him to be spiritual. I want him to believe in God, and believe in having a relationship with him, but he doesn't have to go to church every Sunday or at all, because I believe in you have a relationship with God early on and don't go to church now, you will eventually end up going to church. My paternal grandmother grew up in the church, didn't go all of her adult life, and then started back going regularly when I was in college.


7. Do you mind if he's a divorce' or has kids?
I would prefer he doesn't have any of the baggage that comes with divorce and having kids but the fact of the matter is there aren't too many out there that don't have kids whether they've been married before or not, so I would prefer that they don't have more than 1 kid.


8. Can you help a man build his dream? Can you adapt to his plan?
I think I can. I am a very supportive girlfriend when it comes to dreams and ambitions because I have big ones. I also feel if its someone I really love that I could adapt and be of help. As long as its not some get rich quick scheme. It needs to be a logical plan that has purpose and potential for success.


9. What do you expect of his family? (Should you get along with his mother? Do you care if he doesn't get along with her? Or if his father was never around?)
I expect his family to respect me and our relationship. I would like to get along with his family but I am really a love me or hate me chick. Usually people are never in between or so so about me. They either love me to death or they can't stand me and I am ready for either when it comes to a mate's family. I think a man's relationship with his mother, under normal circumstances, is really a reflection on how they value women so I would hope that he does get along with his mom but isn't a mama's boy. Whether or not he grew up with a father in the home is not important to me.

10. What should he be willing to do to woo you? (Should he pursue you? Give expensive gifts?)
He should be willing to do anything that doesn't compromise his own integrity. I'm not big on expensive gifts, I'm big on men that listen. If we're out walking and I say, oh I heard that restaurant is really good and then our next date we're eating at that restaurant to find out, then that is more meaningful to me. You know I feen for Vanilla icecream all the time, your coming over to visit on a hot summer day and you bring some with you without being asked. Little things like that are more important to be than anything expensive because if the relationship ends, they can always get pawned.