Thoughts to Ponder :
"You learn that you can really endure. That you really are strong & you really do have worth & you learn & learn. With every goodbye you learn" - Anonymous"Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."
- Anon
"The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there's gold in letting go of them."
- John Seely Brown
I can admit... its hard to get me to the love point, but when I do it takes a while to shake me lose. Even when I know the situation isn't good for me, I hold on to it, hoping that things will change or get better. So foolish of me.
1st step of SHAKE MODE is to realize you're being a fool in love/sucka for love. Once you realize that, then your natural being wants you to no longer be a fool and you will make a change. If you don't think that you're being a fool in the situation, than you will continue to be in an unhealthy relationship.
2nd step of SHAKE MODE is to realize that love is not suppose to feel this way and try to convince your heart that its not love. This is the hardest part. The heart is truly a troublemaker because your mind can know a situation is all wrong and your heart prances around the street with Keep Hope Alive signs waving in the air.
I haven't posted any poetry in a while, but here are 2 pieces that I wrote back in early 2002 that are usually relevant no matter who the guy is in my life at that time that I need to shake that emulate both steps. They're kinda cheezy and have a really juvenile tone to them but hell I was in college when I wrote these jokers. But I hope you'll feel me just the same.
Fool
I was a fool
I put my heart in your hands
and you broke it
Wrapped my spirit in your arms
and you lost it
Entrusted you with my feelings
and you hurt them
Let you enter my body
and you bruised it
Offered you my knowledge
and you spit at it
I was a fool
to believe we had something
I was a fool
To think you would change
Showered you with my love
and you put on a poncho
Pampered you like a king
and you treated me like a hoe
Provided everything for you
and you took advantage of that
Gave you the world
and was walked on like a mat
Life started and stopped with you
Everything else was on halt
I can't blame you though
It was all my fault
I was a fool -
Believing we had something,
and that one day you would change.
Not in Love
I'm not in love
Just an overwhelming infatuation
I'm tired of hurting
So I have to take charge of this situation
I try to convince myself its love
Because you're everything I want in a man
But true love is not suppose to feel like this
and to prevent a broken heart I'll do all I can
No matter how much I want you to be
I now realize you're not the one
I know my worth and I deserve more
We can be friends, but our relationship is done
I'm grateful my eyes were opened early on
It still hurts, but in time I'll heal
Giving so much love I barely got in return
So now its time to hide the way I really feel
Usually it's wrong to hide feeling
But in this situation I have to be smart
Continuing something that is going nowhere
Is not a sufficient way to protect my heart
Protect it from pain, from sorrow, from despair
and everything else you'll eventually engulf it with
I'm glad I've passed the stage of wishful thinking
Cuz the idea of you changing is truly a myth
It was my naivety that led to this hurt
But common sense prevented more pain
A big set back in the game of love
but in the long run there's so much I've gained
Piece of mind for admitting I love you
But strength for letting you go
Being in love is like a passionate song
But your beat and my lyrics didn't flow
Oh how I wished a sweet melody would come of this
but its was obvious we were never in sync
I thought if I kept my eyes open, everything would be okay
but at some point everyone must blink
Open eyes, and falling out of love
Is not somewhere I plan to be a lot
Far from bitter, I'm ready to move on
Cuz being in love in somewhere I'm not
Yes letting go is hard. Especially if its LOVE that you have to let go of, but always remember :
"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."
That's the optimistic approach that may resurrect your foolish side. Some are better off taking the cynical approach :
If you love something let it go, and if it comes back - that doesn't mean a damn thing; it can just leave you again later."
Song of the Moment : Mary J. Blige "The Love I Never Had"
The intro is the truth :
You know sometimes,
There comes a time in your life when...
You love something but you have to let it go
And even though you might feel there's still something there
You have to wake up
Stop living in a dream because its over now
You gotta think about you
10 comments
Eb, thank you soooooooooooooooo very much for this post. I feel like your inside my head right now. I truly needed to read this and I'm recording the quotes in my quote book..SIGH.
see, and y'all joke me for being a jaded cynic... mhmm...
when I say "I'm DONE" that fool, my heart, his heart, heck- THE UNIVERSE- had better believe I'm done.
I'm lucky, though; whenever I've found myself unable to let go, old boy would do something so sleezy or disgusting that it would slap me into reality with a quickness. It was an instant LOVE BE GONE! lol
Yes, this post is the truth!! I mean the absolute positive truth. I think we've all had those moments where we think we're heads over heels in love with someone and no matter how in your face the truth is we try to avoid it.
Shaking it off is hard, and sometimes it takes time, but your heart and your head will thank you in the long run. No one wants to be in a dead end situation..
We've all been sucka's for love, we just have to try not to remain that.
Great post.
I believe that once I let it go, its gone.. and I don't want it back.
This song will always and forever be my anthem when it comes to letting go! I love that Mary album! And I definitely like the more cynical approach. I think its funny! lol!
I know exactly how you feel and this post just made it so clear.
Letting go is hard but once you're faced with the inevitable there's no choice but to go ahead and do it.
Good post Eb!
ooh when the heart wants what the mind knows isn't right...lol
self-awareness is always key...
i was in shake mode for a while...i think i've down graded to the occassional twitch.. ;)
im like you. slow to fall but hard to get out of it once i'm there.
but like jadede NYer something always happens (mainly he does some real dumb unbelievable sh*t) and then i'm DONE.
:-) this too shall pass girlie.
I too needed to read this...thanks so much for posting. I was headed right back into that same broken door of deception but now I'm slowly building the strength to turn around and find a better way for myself.
So feeling you Eb. I was JUST going through this but I know there is another side and I'm allowing myself to seek peace from it all. You have to be ready though!! When I finally had enough, I started the process of letting go but it's hard because you sit and hope that they will get a light bulb in their heart that says "She the one dude, smarten up before you lose her"! But they don't so wearily, you move on.
Guurrl Ur The Best! LOL
Post a Comment