So all of my avid readers know that I have been on a sex sabbatical since December 1st. Tomorrow, March 1st was the goal I set for myself and I am proud to say that I have went 3 months without falling victim to dickmotization and it feels good. Have been tempted in ways that I can't even believe I made it out without my cherry being popped the past 2 weeks, but I made it! Now I'm in no rush to get back in the "swing" of things but wanted to pose a question for the day.
After a refraining from sex stint, do you want that old thang back that you know is going to be good and won't let you down, or do you take a chance at trying something new and then after months of not getting any there's a possibility that your first time back in the game could be terrible?
Let me know in the comments!
38 comments
I took a year off and went for some new new lol. The old just brought up the same old stuff I was dealing with at first
That all depends if the reason you stopped messing with them in the first place out weights the need for sex.
As a dude I think it's a lot easier for us to come across good Power-U than for women to come across good d%#$k.
The flip side is we have to work to get it most times and that may push us to go with the old thing.
Women can pick and choose if they want, so getting new is easy.
I also took a year off from sex, and when I finally did do it again, it was with someone very special to me...and we're together now *smile*. I say wait, and give in with someone that care equally and/or more about you. It's so worth the wait.
It's a toss up! The new might be WACK! You know how I know!
When you're with someone new, it's a roll of the dice...You don't know them, they don't know you, you're not sure what they're gonna do and what not...At least with someone you know, you know what to expect(especially if it has been consistantly good)
(If I hear a loud yell, sometime after midnight..I'll just assume that you took one of those choices and it was good...lolol)
I did a 20 month hiatus and I went for something new and it was incredible and we broke up. I was chilling for 10 months and went back and it was and still is the ish!!
Ive also done the 3 month thing and ended up with a WTF moment. Sigh.
You just never know.
try something new. when you run back to an old situation you give that person an opening to use the situation to their benefit...
I say the old is the old for a reason. Take a chance with something new. Kudos on going 3 months, chica!
I for one am proud of you. I went for like 5 1/2 months last year... and it was hard. Afterwards I wanted the old thang.. just the new and improved version. LOL
well I took a year off and still have yet to haev sex. I took a break off to get myself together and to focus on my relationship with my current lady. I would say keep on going and focus on other things in life. The old is in your past for a reason do something new and not anyone new.
If by an old thang you mean Semipro then hell to the no. Hook yourself up with something new. Eb don't make me have to come over there. I don't wanna be reading about how you let him come over in like, a week.
And while I'm at it, I think you should stay on a hiatus from sex. If you really want to challenge yourself, wait until you meet someone with whom there is a possibility of a relationship. I mean, thus far you've been getting it on with people who couldn't commit and that never got you anywhere (except the good times in the bedroom of course). But wouldn't sex be so much better if you were with someone who was all about EB in an exclusive, no BS kinda way?
Just something to think about.
PS: still bumping that Valediction song. it is too bomb!
I took some time off and saved it for someone new and special, it was wonderful. Get a new one babe.
@clnmike-i stopped messing with the jumpoff when I really started liking semipro so the last time me and the jumpoff kicked it was in november. I never really told him that I was cutting him off just busy'd myself whenever he wanted to hang the past couple months. He called yesterday wanting to hang and that's how this whole scenario came about in my head. So it has nothin to do with a bad relationship or feelings or anything like that. He has been the jumpoff for the last 4years with small breaks when either one of us was in a relationship and I just feel since I'm in a different state of mind now that maybe having a jumpoff is not something I want in my life anymore. If I make that decision though, I am too saying that sex is something I won't have in my life for a while until I find someone worthy and not knowing when that might be is always going to have me keep the jumpoff hidden in a box to pull out in extreme circumstances...lol.
@Kryssy - it would all be so simple if that was an option wouldn't it!
@hershey's kiss - that is really commendable. I think it takes a lot more for you all to take a stand at the sexual cleansing but how did ya lady feel about it?
@emeritus -chick you need to come down a level. Eb is going to bone who Eb feels like boning. This was not a post asking advice on who to bone, I was posing a question to the readers as to what they prefer, this has nothing to do with Semipro, he was on pussy punishment waaaaay before I took my break.If I was to get an old thang back it would be my jumpoff. Plus the ball is always in my court when it comes to sexin'. I'm usually the one not looking for a commitment. This semipro was a first for me because I have never been the one that wanted to take it another level first. Usually men are telling me they don't want me talking to anyone else. I feel you on the maybe keeping it going though, that's why I stated I'm in no rush to get back in the swing of things so we'll see.
Women refraining from sex? That's not hard. They had this one poll on TV that had a majority of women opting for a new wardrobe in exchange for no sex for a year. Try blogging about a successful shoe sabbatical :-) Refrain from that. Then I'll bow down and kiss those shoe-less feet :-)
@Eb
my bad girl. wasn't trying to take it there. i know you can handle yours.
i'm still down for the something new.
well, sometimes when you ask yourself a question, you already know the answer..
but in my opinion, taking a break is a good thing. when you're ready to jump back on the saddle(bad joke, I know)give someone new a chance.
Hmmmm good question. I'm in the middle of my sex fast now with 6 weeks to go. I guess I'd go for the old tried and true if I really needed it. But I'm hoping that when my 90 days are up I'll actually want to hold out until a real relationship comes along.
hmmm, I need to learn this...haha
@black yoda...I'm good for the most part...but I get extremely horny the week before my period. Like uncontrollably horny and I have a one track mind to be dick'd down. So if I may it through that 1 week out alive, I'm good until the next month.
@emeritus - all good... People just assume that since I'm so open on my blog that I'm looking for advice and I really never am.
Or sometimes they think I'm talking about a situation I'm going through and its really a scenario based on something a friend went through. But anyway, like I said, its all good.
Girl if you ain't in no rush yo get back in the swing of things don't go back to the old. I'm sure somethings have changed since you started out on this sex sabbatical, so role with the new. New Year New thangs!
I've done both and found it to be a crap shoot- the old thing wasn't as good as I remembered and the new thing was great and vice versa... I'd say, you waited this long, might as well wait for the dude who's gonna give you those butterflies, that vibe.
Oh geez... I sound like an old lady!!!
I go for looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong periods of time between interludes and each and every time I get back on the horse I hope that it's the last dick that I will ever have to ride, suck, clutch, etc.
It's not even that important to me anymore that it be that great even though I would love to be dickmotized, LOL.
hmm... i guess it depends on the relationship with you and the last person you did it with... ?? idk
i'd taken about 6 months off ...in that time i felt like my mind was more focused..LOL
I wasn't any ANY rush to get back to sexin again but then i met Chief and though I'd met alot of guys in that time and wen tout to dinner form time to time...he was the only one that piqued my curiousity in that way. Maybe because he was SUCH the gentleman..never made a play or tried to engage in sexual conversation.
That went on for about 3 more months then I gave it up..I couldn't take it! LOL!
OK, I have somewhat of an advantage here, I think. :-)
Once upon a time ago, I went without for four years.
My first time back was with somewhat of an new old thing. He was my best friend for years and we never could get right to do the relationship thing.
Well, we ended up sleeping together and it was the best sexual experience I've ever had.
So if you gotta go back to something old, tap something you've yet to experience. The New New might be right under your nose.
;-)
Just wanted to say that I just found your blog---and I love it!
Good restraint babygurl, I like that in you.
Congrats! Now me..myself..personally would end up hoping on the old reliable "D" but who knows..maybe you'll find something better. Just be careful outthere missy!
I'd probably fien for the old tried and try because I know he would not let me down.
Oh, I was thinking this was Semipro.
In my opinion it's all good as long as everybody involved is honest about what the relationship is and were it is or not going.
Somebody with the wrong idea in their head is going to get their feelings hurt when they dont get the "hints".
@ Eb the Celeb: My lady is the reason why I'm waiting. We've talked and she's saving herself for marriage. Homegirl is serious. I tested her and homegirl shut me down.
I went over 2 years without it and there were days when I thought I'd fuggin lose it. My poor brother had to endure many of my rantings about how I was on "pussy punishment". Overall the experience was good for me though.
When I finally stepped off the Celibacy Bus, my first stop was 6/4 210, of sexy chocolate decadence. He was good as hell, but turned out to be a dud in terms of a potential relationship. I don't regret that I stopped seeing him, but I wish I could have hit that a time or few more though...lol!
Love to live; live to love!
lol..man am i glad that i don't have to think about this anymore.
how bout i just say hey and keep it moving. lol.
I was on an involuntary sexual hiatus if you will. No sex for like 3 months becuz well, I had no one to sex. Than I met someone new, we sexed and it was just alright.
But then again it's a 50/50 chance when you met someone new that the sex will be good or bad. So I say, get that old thang back!
At least its garunteed!!
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, this is still a new year so maybe some new.... idk lol
I'm on a 28 month sabbatical...
still has not stopped me from having man issues, lol. But, I can say that I have had more clarity in this time.
But let the right one push up on me...
I'm done!
I am currently going without any and it is hard. But the benefit is the claritý of my thoughts. That old stuff might have felt good but there was no depth attached to those feelings. I'm open for some more substantial relationship. Good luck ..personally I'm keeping my legs crossed and my fingers flexible :)
Hmmn
first off major appreciation for holding "it" down for the past 3 months...
second, best thing about celibacy (espeshlee if self imposed) is that it allows you to choose who you want to sex...
no more, "he looks cute"
noe more, "tight ass"
and you learn to value your interests very very deeply
i did it for 27 months Eb...
in weird installments of no nooky from nobody for at least 6 months...
the first 6 were nasty, coz i had just stopped playing chics...
so the forgone opportunities were all over the place...
then the next 6, and the the next 6 just passed by, till i was in the one on one situation in a lonely town, and well....
anyways, i know the drama of having a mad horn and nada to do with it, but hey it passes doesn't it
~B2B~
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