Dammit man... ya'll gon take my playa card for this one

Photobucket
I've never said his name and love in the same sentence ever. Even though readers saw in it me before I ever did, I never thought it was that deep. I never thought I was in that deep. As I mature though, I realize that it is okay to love someone and admit it even though you know you're not right for each other.

Last night, I went to Clue's birthday party at Mansion. It was an all black party. All the men were looking so good in their suits and then I see one from behind that has that build that I love. I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for him to turn around to see if he has the swagger to go with the body. He turns around and its Semipro. I almost fell out on the floor. I have never seen him look so damn good in a suit before in my life. Panties were already wet from seeing all these chocolate black men in suits in the club (since that's so very rare), but it turned into an instant waterfall when I saw him. OMG, my heart melted. He came over, gave me a hug, and I wanted to pull him in a dark corner and give him the bizness right in the club. I held my composure and whispered in his ear that he looked very handsome. He smiled. As he walked away I swear I saw a Halo...

lyrics...
"Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in...

...I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out"



At that moment is when I realized that I love this fool. Yes I said it...
***cue music***

For Keith who has been saying it all along, and I am giving Clnmike the cyber **side eye** right now because I know he's going to have some smart comment. It feels weird to love someone. It has been so long since I've had the feeling that I forgot what it felt like. But there's nothing there, nothing is going to come of this, we are still just going to be friends, I'm not going to relapse. I realized that its okay to love him and not be with him. I also realized that its hard to sleep after seeing such a fine specimen and having such a revelation when the night is over.

So I wrote this...


Mister

I'm in love with Mister Wrong
Mister too afraid to love me
Far from my list titled, "Mister Perfect"
But I can't stop thinking about Mister
Mister Make Me Feel Good
Mister Make Me Smile
Mister Holds Me In His Arms and all worries go away
Trouble lies with Mister Can't See How Great You Are
Whispering, "You're too good for me"
But I know what's good for me Mister
Granted you're Mister Wouldn't Know Romantic if I threw it in your face
and it hurts when you wont let me teach you
Mister Push Me Away pops up right when we're getting close
I really hate Mr. Afraid
Seems like he doesn't realize I'm afraid too
He doesn't understand I never wanted to fall for you
and my spirit doesn't even know how I got here
So how can you be so sure you're Mister Wrong
When I haven't even labeled you Mister Right
Mister Great Listener, Mister Sensitive, Mister Challenge Me... YES!
But Mister Let Me In never seems to make an appearance
Mister Hard as Nails, Mister Selfish, Mister Busy
Mister Probably Will Hurt Me is what my mind sees
But my heart only has eyes for Mister Sexy, Mister Smart, Mister Fun
Mister Strongwilled is my favorite
There is nothing more endearing than a Mister with drive
You know I should be alongside you for the ride
Constant take overs from Mister We're From 2 Different Worlds
Where is Mister Let's Try To Make It Work?
Still haven't met him yet
I try with all my might to give up on you Mister
In a room of Mister Perfects, all I can see is you
I know you're Mister I Have Some Flaws
and I love them all
I know you're Mister Rough Past and skeletons in your closet
Just wish you would turn into Mister Confide In Me
Knowing that I'm not here to judge
I wish I didn't care about you Mister
Then it would all be so simple to let you be
Its an everyday battle with my inner being that has labeled you Mister Complete Me
It has been more hard for me than ever before to see you as Mister Friend
Because I dream of what a great team we could be
I wish it was something that you could see
Reality sets in that maybe you're not the Mister for me
Thank you for showing me the Misters I love and the Misters I hate
The Misters that make me glow, and the Misters that make me cry
Made me realize there's no such thing as Mister Perfect
So I can stop searching for something that will never be
Patiently waiting to be found by Mister Just Right For Me.



Copyright © 2009 by Jonesin' Enterprises All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission.

44 comments

Smarty Jones February 3, 2009 at 12:36 PM

You are so right. Hand it over! I have officially taken your card, I cut it up and burned it!
Semipro has taken a damn sledgehammer to that wall around your heart. That damn thing has had a crack in it since he showed up.
Oh well, another one bites the dust.
Flesh out your feelings, put 'em on the table for him and see where it goes.
Congratulations? :-)

Ms. Minnie February 3, 2009 at 12:37 PM

Wow Eb, that poem was amazing, and hey it happens to the best of us, the only question I have in my head is, are u gonna tell semipro how u feel?

Rich Fitzgerald February 3, 2009 at 12:57 PM

You know it's love when you drop it like this.

You get two snaps, a standing O, and a request for an encore.

ANGELINA February 3, 2009 at 1:00 PM

i love the poetry!

it's a life-changing moment when you realize you can love someone that isn't necessarily right for you. i just had the same realization and it's put a whole new spin on how i view future relationships and my dealings with the ex.

and i wish men wore suits to parties out here! there's nothing like a black man in a dark suit...

The F$%K it List February 3, 2009 at 1:44 PM

AWW girl, you got it you got it bad (channeling Usher).

The poem was great, I have a friend that would benefit from reading it.

Thoughts of a Southern gal February 3, 2009 at 1:47 PM

Eb, I'm feeling this poem. Yep you love that man.

I made a comment before about loving someone and realizing being with him is not going to happen. Coming to this conclusion put some things in perspective for me.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© February 3, 2009 at 1:47 PM

AW this is so sweet! I wish you guys would get out of the "friends" stage though! lol

ToshaRenelle February 3, 2009 at 2:09 PM

The poem was on point...I LOVED IT! Love is grand, but it does suck if you can't have the one you love. Such a process this life!

giving you the ***side eye*** for the Beyonce lyrics and vid, 'cause you were going hard on my girl Bey in conference chat on Friday, LOL!

Ms. Independent February 3, 2009 at 2:52 PM

that poem was absolutely amazing...great job. I can relate to so much of it.

Good luck with that!

Soulstress February 3, 2009 at 3:27 PM

Preach sista preach..i feeeeel u on that poem! Loved:

"So how can you be so sure you're Mister Wrong
When I haven't even labeled you Mister Right"


yes yes yes.

I have been thru this sumwhat..not in love....but cared for a similar Mr. And its still hard. But I kno it shall get easier:)

Kayos February 3, 2009 at 3:37 PM

I don't want the card. I want the points. So hand over all the cool points. Just count 'em out like they hundred dolla bills.

Eb the Celeb February 3, 2009 at 3:50 PM

@Smarty - You can have it... I've finally admitted to myself... that I'm a lover and a fighter... and a romantic down to my core even though I try to hide it... Alas I'm free...lol

@Minnie - No... I emailed him the poem and told him to get out of it whatever he wanted

Thx Rich & Ms. Independent for the love

@Tosha - The trick still gets on my nerves... because she lacks creativity. Its the lyrics that got me... and she didn't write them. PLus the only reason I like the video is because of fine Michael Ealy

@Soultress - That's my fav line too. Men get their boxers all in a bunch when you express your feelings to them like the next day you are going to try and walk them down the aisle. They lack to realize that we fear love just as much as they do, and are just unsure of love as we are.

@kayos - You cant have my cool points... I'm still fly as hell...lol

Amber-Alert February 3, 2009 at 4:29 PM

poem was on POINT and i agree wholeheartedly with tosharenelle...it sucks big ole monkey balls

1/3 February 3, 2009 at 4:38 PM

I absolutely loved your poem. I think we all knew you loved semi pro. I hope he gets his act together and realizes what he has in front of him:-)

B-More BAP February 3, 2009 at 4:46 PM

Sometimes it sneaks up on ya Eb. I dig!

Great Poem Mama :-)

Ms. Lovely February 3, 2009 at 5:03 PM

that poem *tear*

All those Misters keep us confused. Damnit..I just want Mister "I love you too"

Glo February 3, 2009 at 5:53 PM

Wow Eb... look at you... just letting it out huh? I can dig it girl. I didn't get to call it, but I knew there was something about Semipro and you... just something.

Mizrepresent February 3, 2009 at 6:17 PM

Awe babygirl, ain't nothing wrong with falling...just don't fall on your face. Love the poem...aren't we all wanting Mr. Right?

Lady C. February 3, 2009 at 6:44 PM

Damn Eb....this is so on point!

Loved your poem girlie.

*Ms.B* February 3, 2009 at 7:54 PM

Love the poem

I mad you said give him the bizness you aint Usher dont be making no love in the club girl lol

clnmike February 3, 2009 at 8:18 PM

Mutha$#@$ WHAT!!!!!!!

Can I call it or can I call it!!!!

I dont know how many times I have to tell you women to stop listening to each other and start listening to ME!

But on the real your doing the right thing by playing it cool, he has to respect you and your wishes.

But the clock is ticking........

Keith February 3, 2009 at 8:21 PM

Don't you feel better now that you've at least admitted that much to yourself?

Mimi February 3, 2009 at 9:16 PM

Loved, loved loved the poem!! And yea, I'm glad you knew your player card is now gone! lol...It's ok to be in love...and love Halo :)

Eb the Celeb February 3, 2009 at 9:29 PM

@1/3 Sweet thought but I'm not holding my breath on that one

@Ms Lovely - Aint that the truth!

@Glo - I think I knew too just couldnt bring myself to actually say it but I guess I'm like putty for a man in a suit cuz I couldn't hold it back

@Mizrep - No falling on the face. I've already pulled back from this situation, he just still crosses my mind.

@Ms.B - You dont understand how fine this man was last night. I wouldnt have thought twice about making love in the club...lo

@clnmike - Are you done now...

@keith - No... it sucks hot sweaty monkey balls; me admitting it doesn't change the situation so part of me is like what's the point.



Thx everyone for the lyric love!

Aretha February 3, 2009 at 9:32 PM

That poem was awesome. Said everything most of us think. I envy the way you have your love emotion in check.

stillpatrice February 3, 2009 at 9:41 PM

WOW

love the poetry

and damn eb, you coulda been an usher song? :)

Miss BB is... February 3, 2009 at 10:29 PM

Well, it's good you can admit it to yourself, girlie girl.

FREEDOM February 3, 2009 at 10:33 PM

Hey Ebbey that was a great poem! I try to remember this list when I get like that...

"1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.


10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.""

Ms_Slim February 3, 2009 at 10:35 PM

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, EB!!!!
I should NOT be reading this today. *long elaborate sigh*


out.

lol

Veronica Wright February 4, 2009 at 9:20 AM

how does that one song go that you alwayd end up hearing ? *Ahem* *Mi mi miiiiiiii*

"Could it be I'm fallin in loooove, with ya baay-bey'!"

LOL!

So precious!

Lovely and Lively February 4, 2009 at 10:36 AM

i loved this post...i really can relate to that poem and halo....nice job!!

Monie February 4, 2009 at 11:42 AM

Ha! He broke you down, EB! At least all your feelings are out in the open and you can move on whether it's with him or not.

Harm0nii February 4, 2009 at 3:56 PM

Your poem is amazing. I'm right there withya sista.....

Kryssy February 4, 2009 at 6:32 PM

*faints*

(I recovered enough to read the poem... beautiful)

Seven February 4, 2009 at 6:34 PM

I love the poem...I seriously felt you in it.

Dunno what words to wisdom to offer about the love thing. Be still and let it be. Doesn't mean you two have to be together.

Keli February 6, 2009 at 6:43 PM

*snaps*

Right there with you.

suga February 9, 2009 at 5:11 PM

That damn "Halo" song AND video is the root of all evil. lol

Naw, but it also was a huge part of my revelation with TLOML...and the Lord knows we don't work together consistently, but we keep at it ridiculously anyway so I definitely feel you Eb.

Help keep this site up and running


and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers