The Fall Back...

Fall back!!! You all know what I'm talking about. That instance when you're talking to someone and things are going too good too fast and your mind is like Whooooaaaaa we need to fall back. I have been on both sides of this situation in my dating career. Yes "dating" is a career. It's a whole 'nother occupation that you have to get trained on, excel in so you don't get fired from, and at the very least get paid every other week with a nice dinner or great sex.

The person that falls back first is always the one that has the power. Leaving the other person bewildered, wondering what happened, and if it was something that they did. Even if you have been the person doing the "falling back" before, in a new situation you never realize that it's not you. It is never you. It's always that person just weighing their options, maybe even scared of the fact that they like you so much.

The fall back can come in many forms, here are some examples:

1. They go from texting you every day "good morning beautiful" to you not hearing from them for a week.

2. Go from picking up on the first ring when you call them, to sending you to the voicemail even when they aren't doing anything.

3. My personal fav that I use quite often, Is they call you and you don't answer but text back "whazup." I've done that plenty of times. When I'm in fall back mode I don't want to talk to you, I don't want you to make me laugh... I'm trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with you. But I hate like the devil when this mess is done to me.

Amongst the fall back though, like right when you are about to say forget this fool, I'm over it, they give you an inkling of something to keep you interested. Like arrange a special date, or you talk on the phone for hours like you did when you first met and the evening gives you that good sigh that has sucked you right back in and made you forget that the fool fell back, even though they'll be right back in Fall Back mode the next day. They only give you enough so that you stay fresh in their mind but still want you on the edge of your seat.

At this stage in my dating career, I've realized that "The Fall Back" is just another game. I used it before to protect myself from disappointment. They are eventually going to act up and I figured if I didn't allow myself to get that close to them, that when they finally did, it wouldn't matter as much. Now I've realized that there is nothing wrong with liking someone fast. Nothing is wrong with you and a person having an initial chemistry and going full speed ahead with it. Before I thought it meant a man was clingy and needy but now I value men who are that way when it isn't stalkerish. It's sexy to really go hard for what you want or at least be attentive enough to let the person know that you are trying to get to know them better just as much as they are trying to get to know you.

Even though I'm still not the type of person that can just come out and say with words to a person that I like them, I'm ready to hang up "The fall back" and just let things flow when internally I feel like things are going pretty good with a dude. Hoping when that situation presents itself, that he too has given up on "The Fall Back" and we can just let it flow!

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