Yes we are still holding tight to our gawd awful lists. They will always and forever be there and men that think you will never find a man if you have a check list of things that he must have and must not do are wrong. The key is to have a working list. One that can be altered on occasion, one that has a hierarchy where certain characteristics are more important than others. Even men have these types of list that's how they separate the hoes from the housewives so why can't we???
Now to the subject at hand, what if you're not looking for anyone in particular. You're happy being single, I mean it is spring right now, so you're ready to mingle. Amidst the mingling though you meet someone that isn't even close to being your type but there is just good energy there. As you get to know him you realize he doesn't hit on not 1 characteristic on your list. In essence he is breaking every last one of your rules but you like the attention so you keep him around for fun, but in the back of your mind you're keeping him at arms length conscious of the fact that this is definitely someone that you can't put into the "like" category.
As time goes on you get so comfortable with him that things start happening. Even though you still aren't the least bit attracted to him physically, and he has a lot of personality traits that you just aren't feeling, something about him draws you to him. You find yourself wanting to spend time, calling him to see if he wants to hang, and putting as much into the situation as he is giving out. You start thinking about him even when you don't want to and you love the way you feel when you're with him. He's starting to make you wonder if maybe you could be with someone who has a habit that was at the top of the No No No my husband can't do this list.
Is it wise to just go with the flow and see how things turn out???
Or is it a trainwreck waiting to happen???
Personally, I feel its a train wreck ready to happen but you should still live in the moment. If you allow yourself to get in a situation where you are in "deep like" with this person it could cause problems. If you are genuinely serious about those personality traits that you just can't deal with, when the relationship gets serious you are going to try to change him and he is going to look at you crazy and give you the "this is how you met me" speech and you will have both wasted your time. In a situation like this I would only be looking to have some fun. Every girl likes the attention especially with someone that we are having a good time with whether we are attracted to the guy or not. There is a reason for your lists so that you don't get caught up in a situation that is completely wrong for you. It's a loose guide to keep you on track so you're not blinded by the fiooone brother that has nothing else going for him, and look over the only cute on some days brother that may have a check next to everything else on your list.
That's the Eb perspective though... what say you??? Hit me in the comments!
FYI - This post is in relation to chicks that have reasonable lists I want to add. Like no smoking, no more than 2 kids, only been married once before, etc. Not all this gotta have 2 bentleys, a time share in turks & caicos chicken head mess for those that were going to chime in on some ignorant mess. We're grown over here.
Also its been over 2 1/2yrs since I did my Perfect Man Box post... so much has changed since this. I might need to revisit this sucker soon! Actually maybe not. I've come to realize that there is no perfect man, ggrrrrrrr. My Build a Man workshop characteristics are still pretty much the same though. May revisit that and add and subtract a couple. Ain't nothing wrong with envisioning what you want God to build just for you and keep a little sticky note of the masterpiece under your pillow every night and pray on it hoping one day the sticky note with be gone and the man will be there kinda like how the tooth fairy leaves money...LOL.
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