I finally figured out why I like him

Its not because he's close to the perfect height
Its not because he has that chocolate skin
Its not because he effortlessly makes me laugh
Its not because he has that football player build
Its not because he's smart and has just as much if not more ambition than I do.
Its not because he has the best ass I've ever seen in football tights
Its not because he has that kind of chest that you can bury your head in and get the best night sleep ever.
Its not because he's a great storyteller and I love hearing him talk about what life has thrown his way.
Its not because his favorite accessory is Magnum XL (okay maybe that's my fav accessory on him)
Its not because he can pick me up like I'm a rag doll (even though that would be a close second)

Its because he sees threw my bull... and calls me on it. I have a way about myself that I could manipulate and intimidate the hell out of a man if he let me. Lucky for me I believe in karma so I never really take advantage. But I say things, and hint at things to get my way and get what I want and he calls me on it.

Plus I'm a tough girl. Rarely do I tell a man my feelings. So when we get in an argument I explode and everything that ever bothered me comes out. This confuses the hell out of him because half that crap he doesn't even remember so he says, "You try to act so tough and you are so sensitive and emotional." Whew this makes me so mad at the time, because basically he's just dismissing my rant. But later, when I think about it, I smile, because I know I can be sensitive, I know I am emotional, but he's not suppose to know that.

The beginning stages consisted heavily of me trying to figure him out and get in his head. He would call me out on that too. Always telling me I was over analyzing things and to just take it as is. So basically after almost a year of knowing him, I still haven't figured his arse out...and part of me has given up on that happening because I know I would just drive myself in sane. It still annoys the hell out of me though. Usually it's so easy. I have dudes figured out, wrapped around my finger, and have already chewed them up and spit them out by now. But he just won't snap.

He has this damn mystery about him so I never get bored. We're both always doing so many different things that the conversation never gets old. For that same reason though, we don't see each other as much as I like. Part of him not up in my ass all the time is probably why when we do hang out that we have such a good time.

But I'm glad I finally figured it out. Its kinda hard to know where you want a situation to go if you don't really know why you like the person. So now that the easy part is figured out, I'm not so sure I'm ready for the hard part that is coming next...

Its kind of like the end of this week's episode of THE GAME. I really thought the show was starting to get lame because Mel always came off so helpless and in need of a man at every moment. Even selfish at times. By the close of the episode her entire swag had changed and I loved it. She basically sat Derwin down and was like let's live in the moment. Not define anything but be the best we can be to each other. If you missed it here is a clip. It starts at the 7 minute mark but the whole clip is good because it gives you a glimpse of what it took for her to get there.

46 comments

[Emeritus] November 23, 2008 at 7:22 AM

"So when we get in an argument I explode and everything that ever bothered me comes out. "

Um you and I needs to chat. Haha. I'm the same. I keep the peace (cuz I don't want to ruin a good stretch) until he pisses me off, then I blurt everything. I also love a man with mystery. A guy that's too easy bores me. But the long and short of it is, he likes you so he's sticking around. yay! :-)

clnmike November 23, 2008 at 8:13 AM

Lol, looks like ol boy has you hooked.

As for that clip I am not sure I would have accepted those terms, I am more of an all or nothing type dude.

Mizrepresent November 23, 2008 at 11:39 AM

Good Clip! I also like a man that can put me in my place...lol, who questions my motives, with a strong back, and big chest...yeah...big enough to lay my head against. Go'on girl! Live in the moment!

MzInspiredMind81 November 23, 2008 at 11:44 AM

Yes chile, the coming weeks and months are about to be soooooooooo interesting for you.

I agree w/ you and Emeritus, if I can have you all figured out to soon, your of no interest to me. If you constantly keep me guessing though, I love it!

Kryssy November 23, 2008 at 12:13 PM

I am the same way... I bottle it all up and then when I let it all out, it's nothing nice. LOL. I think that I do it because 1. I don't want to seem like a nag and 2. I don't want him to know that I give a damn.
I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
And that quality right here?:

"Its not because he's smart and has just as much if not more ambition than I do."

Is the SEXIEST thing a man can have... =)

glennishamorgan November 23, 2008 at 1:00 PM

I saw that episode of the game and I was like okkk this isn't as juicy as it use to be but, I didn't like her convo with that old lady

CurvyGurl November 23, 2008 at 1:05 PM

Hey Eb! I just wrote about that scene, it was an eye-opener for me too. You're right, why worry with defining things and just let them flow.

RealHustla November 23, 2008 at 1:14 PM

Yeah, being that I've been the baby momma, it was always hard for me to understand why I wasn't the center of his world. I got some enlightenment from Hollywood the other night, I'm ashamed to admit.

Ah man, I'm so excited for you and SemiPro.

The F$%K it List November 23, 2008 at 1:51 PM

@EB, Uhm yeah girl you are hooked, but there is nothing wrong with that. You can still be hooked and it be on your terms.

I think that is real point of what happen on the Game (and yes the show was getting lame). She said how much she loved him first but their entire relationship has always revolved around Derwin and his life. I'm hoping they keep this going for her character.

Eb the Celeb November 23, 2008 at 2:10 PM

@Mizrep - yes girl... all of that... I can't have a woose... I need someone who tells me to shut up when I'm talking too much...lol

@kryssy - Your reason are the same as mine... I'm not one that complains a lot or likes to complain when I do so I try to pick my battles but when I do I usually bring up all he stuff that annoyed me before that I was quiet about... and yeah definitely dont want you to know I care enough

@glennisha - that convo with the woman rubbed me a little weird too... I got what she was saying and think Mel needed to hear it but there were parts of it that were just weird or I didn't get where she was going with it

@ F it - Exactly... it was never about her... it was always about her being Derwin's girl... I'm glad she is finally finding herself.

South Loop Social Light November 23, 2008 at 2:43 PM

Thank God Melanie got her swagger back! I was starting to worry about her.

DollFace November 23, 2008 at 3:36 PM

I see you put the clip in:) I was so surprised to see her having the same conversation I had two nights earlier.

I'm glad you figured it out. I still think my theory is part of the equation too...lol.

Go get him...

Thoughts of a Southern gal November 23, 2008 at 5:11 PM

I missed The Game the other night.

I hold things in until it all explodes out. My ex told me it's like my head start to spinning.

Regina November 23, 2008 at 6:29 PM

Let me find out that Eb has met her match!
Be careful you might get your playa card revoked if folk find out you are hooked! LOL!!

Eb the Celeb November 23, 2008 at 6:45 PM

@Dollface - You said I like him because he's unavailable... I dont think I like him because of that...it actually annoys me that when I want to spend time with him he's not always there but I do like the fact that he has a life and doesn't jump every time I say so and let's me live my life so yeah maybe that does play a tiny itsy witsy part

@Southern Gal - LMAO.. plz dont turn into the exorcist when you are cussing a man out...lol

@Regina - Not hooked... but definitely may have met my match. Its my first time dating a Taurus... and I think its for my own good. Maybe I will do a post about the Taurus dating a Taurus thing...because I'm not even optimistic that it will even work but if it doesn't I am positive that I will be a better person when its over after getting what I usually give. For the first time in my life I know what it feels like to be on the other end of the Taurus mindset and antics...

i.can't.complain. November 23, 2008 at 7:25 PM

so ure in like, hunh?

feels good, right?

the accessory on him is certainly a good look, eb.

missed u pretty girl

-1-

maddsexycool November 23, 2008 at 7:53 PM

wow, i've seen a couple of posts now about living in the moment in relationships, not applying a definition... and it seems to be working for everyone including myself.

best "relationship" i've ever had. my guy is also hard to read but it keeps it so interesting. i'm just to weird for him to figure out so he's just enjoying the ride.

Miss BB is... November 23, 2008 at 8:40 PM

I know the last part was only a small bit of your entire post but I must say that I felt that "Girl Melanie" only changed her thinking for the time being b/c its a way for her to not think about her true feelings. It doesn't just "turn off" like that - especially not for her. We'll see how she's acting in two weeks. LOL!

James Tubman November 23, 2008 at 10:08 PM

you are the reason for so many miserable nights spent by the dumb ass females who feed into your hatred of black men

i hope you can live with that

Jackie E. November 23, 2008 at 10:12 PM

Never was attracted to a man who was spineless although I tend to find the ones that have tooo much spine, lol! I think if you can walk all over a guy, there's no intrigue, no mystery no unanswered question. You already know he's just gonna fold....and what kinda fun is that?!

Eb the Celeb November 24, 2008 at 12:19 AM

@-1- missed you too missy!

@miss bb - she's definitely not the strong type so I can see her not be able to handle something that casual... it takes a certain type of woman and that definitely doesn't happen overnight so I know there will be more drama to come... I mean it is a sitcom... it cant be all peaches and cream from now on

@james - So what's the reason for all your miserable nights... maybe if you didn't spend so much time harassing the women in the blog world... you could actually find you one in real life... and DO NOT call the women that read my blog dumb... your always talking about someone hating on the black man... your problem is you hate yourself and you try to blame it on women... boo hoo... some chick played you or broke your heart and now you want to take it out on every black woman in the world... get some balls and get over it... if you stopped acting so damn crazy maybe you would find someone

@Jackie - I am the same way... attracting the ones that have too much spine... it does make and keep things interesting though

ShonaVixen November 24, 2008 at 5:43 AM

Hey Eb!!Always great when they have a mystery and you never get bored!!Yay...
Gurl, m so addicted to The Game, and they dont show it here so TheGameFanatic on Youtube is such a gem, coz they upload the episodes...and yup I was thinking Melanie is getting boring and then when she sat Derwin down and spoke to him...i was like yay gurl!!!

Kin'shar November 24, 2008 at 6:27 AM

Girrll, thats the first step. To realize all the 'whys'...now I too know why I like him (^_^)

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs November 24, 2008 at 8:31 AM

Hey Sistah!

I'm glad you figured out "why" you like him....it definitely helps to understand what it is about a person that has us...intrigued!

blackgirlinthecity November 24, 2008 at 10:28 AM

Hey not much of a TV watcher but I agree with you..."Rarely do I tell a man my feelings. So when we get in an argument I explode and everything that ever bothered me comes out." - I had to figure out a way to curb these tantrums and express myself on the dime or shortly thereafter because holding stuff in only poisons yourself or the situation. And I don't know about you but I can slice a man with words so I have to be particularly careful with this lol. Good luck and ENJOY THE RIDE!

Darius T. Williams November 24, 2008 at 10:57 AM

Isn't it just great when we learn these types of things - I mean really!

-::brown sugar::- November 24, 2008 at 11:17 AM

dude sounds like a winner and a keeper ^_^


i like the fact that he brings that all out of you..yet you stay true to yourself. much respect.


p.s. i agree about the game..i stopped watching and recently picked back up on it and saw she chopped her whole damn hair! WTF?!

kayellejaye November 24, 2008 at 12:09 PM

I like the chase. If it's too easy I don't want it. And a hot piece of ass is a great motivater.

Eb the Celeb November 24, 2008 at 12:41 PM

@Shonavixen - yeah thegamefantatic is how I got the clip... they help me out too when I miss it because the CW site takes forever to post the new episodes on their site

@blackgirlinthecity - girl sometimes I dont even have to say anything to slice them... I have this side eye that I give where they know the heat is coming...lol, and yeah I'm working on not holding all of that in too... a huge reason why I overanalyze so much because I let ish fester instead of dealing with it right then

@brown sugar - yeah he aight...lol

@kayellejaye - I know you have to stay focused on the hot ass part though because it can get you all off kilter and cloud your judgment...lol

Super Dave Van Buren November 24, 2008 at 12:48 PM

aaahhh the art of checking a girl on BS. It's what separates the men from the boys.. lol

Nina November 24, 2008 at 1:50 PM

soooooooooo sweet!

my heart melts!

faith November 24, 2008 at 2:01 PM

damn, that clip was good. Unfortunately The Game lost me but maybe i need to check back into it. You two have quite an interesting relationship. You definitely need someone who will keep you on your toes.

contagiouslyCRANKY November 24, 2008 at 3:47 PM

Im exactly the same way... i hold it all in and when I flip CGR is like ummm WTF?? I love the Game.I was starting to get pissed at Melanie too cuz she was being too weak for my taste..But I liked how she took control at the end!!!

Sha Boogie November 24, 2008 at 4:17 PM

that is so effin' true! be the best that you can be to that person -- love. Enjoy the mystery! I miss it.

A.M. November 24, 2008 at 4:34 PM

Hmm...so he's got u figured out...and u haven't got him figured out lol...good look, I think :/

I'm happy that ur having a good time though.

Malik November 24, 2008 at 4:37 PM

So he sees thru all the bullshit, huh? Sounds like love is in the air. Maybe I should blog about that. Hmmmm?

Eb the Celeb November 24, 2008 at 5:12 PM

@Super Dave - It takes a lot more than that to separate them..lol

@faith - I like to call it a complicated melody

@Sha boogie - You miss it? Does that mean there is no mystery with Snappy anymore... I dont ever want the mystery to go away... I want to feel like I know them but still be mysterious

@A.M. - I know how he ticks... but he has a huge communication problem... he is hard as nails so when it comes to feelings I basically have to pin him down and put him on pussy punishment to get anything out of him

@Malik - No love, just deep like...lol; Blog about what... seeing thru the bull?

Ms. Lovely November 24, 2008 at 6:03 PM

i'm sorry..pussy punishment? LMFAO. I say pussy parole..hilarity

anywho I get so annoyed @ men who cant express themselves. but at the same time I love the mystery men. I agree, they are fun but they may end up hurting you the most since it's hard to see it coming


*sigh* I so wish men came with directions..

One Man’s Opinion November 24, 2008 at 6:43 PM

I thought music was your boyfriend....and are you kidding me. Mel is a total crazy chick.

viavonne November 24, 2008 at 6:45 PM

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Girl, I'm glad you have yours figured out. I'm figuring out my relationship as well... and I'm realizing I've still got a lot of work to do on myself. I am HORRIBLE at communication. Not a good look for a long distance relationship.

Question, I'm guessing you have Q-Tip's new album. I've heard great things about it! What do you think?

Eb the Celeb November 24, 2008 at 7:00 PM

@Ms Lovely - Exactly... that's why I have been hesitant to let him in... because if I do and he hurts me... I'll cut his balls off...lol; not really but yeah not knowing his intentions keeps me just as guarded... which is a reason that in the back of my mind I doubt that this situation will ever go anywhere... that's why I'm just living in the moment and enjoying it while it last

@one man - music will always and forever be my BF... it did not say anywhere in here that he was/is my BF... and all women are crazy one man... I thought you knew..lol

@Viavonne - I am horrible at communicating feelings... when it comes to anything else I can talk your ear off but when it comes to feelings... my lips are sealed extra tight

and I love TIP's album... I have his joint with D'Angelo in the RBW playlist... its easy listening hip hop... you can listen to the entire album while your cleaning on a saturday afternoon.

karrie b. November 24, 2008 at 8:55 PM

because he can pick u up like a rag doll?!?!?!?!

imma fightchuuuuuuu!

-kb

.:jeni:. November 25, 2008 at 12:15 AM

i feel you 100%! i put up a front and except it to work but somehow he sees through it every time, yet he can't see how important that is lol.

BB November 25, 2008 at 12:54 AM

I love a man with layers, everytime he peels one off I find out soemthing new...but not so much that I feel like I know everything about him, his moods, his quirks are right away. Excited for you and semi-pro!

Help keep this site up and running


and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers