Dear Diary : Trying to make time for those who are worthy and forget those who are not

So I keep a diary. I know I am pretty open and honest here on the blog about my life but sometimes things are so personal that I put them in my personal diary rather than here...

For some reason, right now I am feeling compelled to open up. I am not taking comments on this post because its just me trying to figure things out in my head.

So today is the day that NC Boo is finally moving to NYC, and I am extremely nervous about it. For those that don't know I met him back in August at a friend's cookout. I originally named him bugaboo because he called me non stop. I ended up finding out the reason he called me so much was because he was only going to be in NY for 2 weeks and then was going back to NC to get all his stuff and then move back. While back in NC he got into a crazy car accident... Thank God nothing too severe happened to him, but his truck was totaled. He decided to wait until he got his insurance check to make the move.

We've talked almost every day since we met. Great conversations, we have learned a lot about each other. He is a really nice guy... but I don't really like him like that. He's a paralegal...that is going to law school next fall. Sweet, honest, physically not my usual type but he's still a cutie.

I've always heard about women overlooking the good guy right in front of their face for the bad guy but I never really thought that would be me. I never thought I would be the one that if a good guy was right in my face that I would pass up... but certain ish about him scares me. The first argument we had was when I told him I was probably going to move out of NYC when I turned 30. He made some sort of smart remark like well I am just getting there so I'm not trying to move so its kinda silly that we continue to get to know each other if you already know you will be moving soon. First of all... I have a little over 2 and 1/2 years to go until I turn 30 so I cussed him out about thinking of future plans so soon. This was literally after knowing him for a month. But part of me thought it was kinda cute that he was thinking about the future so soon.

Either way... Semipro is still in the picture. He is my type to a T and I hate the fact that he doesn't pay me as much attention as NC boo. With NC boo I am always first. Its what I want to do, and when I am ready for something; but by no means is he a punk. He has put me in my place on occasion and that's why I respect him.

Last week I actually had to tell Semipro that I'm done... I wanted him to meet me somewhere and he said he had already made plans with the boys. Which pissed me off because I am always playing 3rd or 4th or 5th to someone or something. Granted I know I will never come before his daughter... and I don't mind that... but your lame ass friends when I haven't seen you in 2 weeks or more. He claims that we will hang more when his coaching season ends... which was yesterday...but I doubt that, because now he has to start training for his season that starts in January... I really like him, so we'll see if he now makes himself available, or if NC boo being here will make me now not even care if he does.

I really don't want to start liking NC Boo just because Semipro is acting up and I feel that will be the case. We as women always look for another shoulder to lean on when the one we want isn't as stable. I just got a feeling that this is going to be an interesting week.

Oh and I didn't even get into how Mr. Nonono... the strictly just friends jump off that I've had for the last 4 years and really like our situation because we don't deal with all the extra bull... is trying to get closer than jump off status and it is weirding me out. Ugh... I hope he gets a grip soon because I ain't gave Semipro no booty since that relapse cuz he don't know how to act right and I can't jump NC Boo's bones already since he's just getting to the city... so when I am ailing I call on Mr. Nonono... and he can't be messing up that groove. Or maybe I need to listen to my friends and finally take him seriously and realize that he is a catch.

Why can't a husband and two sons just fall in my lap and make things easier? Semipro told me my problem is that I overanalyze everything and that most times things aren't that deep and at this very moment I might be starting to believe him. I would still rather just have the husband and two sons handed to me rather than going through this dating process. Arranged marriages are looking pretty good at this time in my life.
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