Obsession for Affection

You ever get to the point where you cant even function because you want affection from someone and you aren't getting it. That's where I am right now. I mean I can function, and I am getting as much possible affection that Semipro can give not being in the same city but I want something more. I don't even know what I want either. I know I don't want a boyfriend, but it would be nice to have one some time.

I have really been feeling like a dude lately. Wanting sex more than usual, not wanting to be in a committed relationship, but wanting all the benefits of having a boyfriend. My friends say I'm a PIMP, because for the most part I don't pay dudes any mind. Aren't really impressed by too much when it comes to men, and am usually mean if they approach me with some weak game.

Which reminds me, why the other night, me and Joy were leaving the crib for the Mary J Blige after party and this dude yells to me "Ma, you are too clean. I ain't gonna even try to holla at you right now because you are looking too good. I'm gon holla at you another day when your going to the laundromat or something because you are too fine right now."

Me and Joy fell out on the floor with laughter. After that, if he had actually tried to holla for real, he probably would have gotten my number... saying he gon holla at me in the laundromat mat... he was kinda cute and wit will get you everywhere with me.

Anyway, maybe the title of this post is a bit much because I'm not really obsessing but I do want the affection of a man on a constant basis. Like Friday, I didn't want to sit in the house and watch the game, I wanted to go out. But I have no real dude that I want to chill with like that so I call my big brother CL, and we go watch the game at Mobay in Harlem. I love this spot, they had this amazing blues band and we just grooved to the good music, watched the game, ate and drank. But I would love to have a boo or 2 or 3 to choose from in this situation instead of one of my boys. Is that too much to ask?

This all comes about by me getting a new phone last Friday. I got the new Blackberry Curve on VZ that doesn't even come out until tomorrow. Yeah ya girl got the exclusive hook-up. Anyway, every time I get a new phone, I go threw and delete all the contacts that don't really matter anymore before I transfer my phone book to the new phone. I realized that I have no breezies, and its really bothering me a bit. I mean I have breezies, but none that intrigue me as much as I intrigue them. The ones I only call when I am on the brink of killing myself bored, and usually send them straight to the voicemail when they call me.

Maybe I just need a change of scenery... cant wait til this weekend so I can try and nab me an ATL Boo...lol... ATL are you reaaaaaaddddyyyy?


DollFace May 12, 2008 at 9:43 AM

So why aren't you feeling having a boyfriend Eb? You wouldn't consider going there with Semipro?

Happy Monday!

Eb the Celeb May 12, 2008 at 9:52 AM

No not right now... maybe its the weather that's making me not want to commit and just have fun... I dont know... it was a year last month that I broke up with my last boyfriend, so I feel I'm ready if the opportunity presents itself, but that I am not really pressed for the label. I just want the benefits and affection of having one.

Plus Semipro isn't here... he'll be back in July full-time... and maybe we'll get that close in the final summer months so that we can go there and I can call him my own on those brisk winter months and cuddle up with him and lay my head on his oh so beautiful chest...

yes that would be nice... but again... I'm not pressed

Homer is My Co-pilot May 12, 2008 at 10:07 AM

It's hard out here for a pimp.. lol

You know once the weather breaks everyone's hormones get the best of them. Sounds like you just want to date and enjoy the single life. Once it gets warm I'm sure you will have no problem with men.

Brittany May 12, 2008 at 10:47 AM

I feel you. I don't want a boyfriend either. Just someone to chill with.

Brittany May 12, 2008 at 11:16 AM

BTW I talked about this post on my blog a little.

anonymousnupe May 12, 2008 at 11:28 AM

I think you just need a good yogurt and ozone enema and you'll be straight. You'll still be feenin' for male abuse, but your colonic mucosa will be pristine. And isn't that what's really important in times like these?

The Jaded NYer May 12, 2008 at 11:39 AM

girl- you totally just read my mind...

Brown Girl Gumbo May 12, 2008 at 12:01 PM

Maybe you will find that affection you're looking for in Atlanta - good luck! :-)

ms.uncensored May 12, 2008 at 12:26 PM

yes girl. i had been feeling the same way a few weeks ago. i had a main squeeze boo but he was back in brooklyn. i'm down in philly by my lonesome. i wasn't really ready for a relationship i jus wanted some ppl to pass the time. that affection. that attention. i just wanted those intriguing initial convos. when i looked through my contacts one night. there was only lackluster idiots. sigh. such is life.

a change of scenery always works for me. =]

Jadore.Tokeyo May 12, 2008 at 12:32 PM

i feel you. i'm not looking for a boyfriend just someone to chill and talk to and give me my daily dose of attention that i crave.

i'll be moving soon, so hopefully the change of scenery will work wonders.

Smarty Jones May 12, 2008 at 1:12 PM

On the brink of killing yourself bored? I don't EVER want you to get THAT bored. :-)
I feel you though. I just had this convo with my brother yesterday. I agree with everyone else, I think it's just the weather.
It's about that time. Everybody has to have a summer fling, right?

Lina May 12, 2008 at 1:21 PM

Awww,mannnnn!!! I feel you, like I feel you for real. I want the same exact thing. I get it to a certain extent now, but I want it more. I think I would be better suited to be labeled obsessed.

dejanae May 12, 2008 at 1:38 PM

im not pressed to be bunned up
enjoy te single life while u can

12kyle May 12, 2008 at 2:08 PM

if you're nice to me...maybe i'll bring somebody to the party with me. lmao!!!

Demon Hunter May 12, 2008 at 2:35 PM

Well, I can't go that route. I have a boyfriend, so no more single for me.

Anonymous May 12, 2008 at 3:09 PM

I loved the single life when I was single. Enjoyed it to the fullest. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. I had a couple of breezies who I chilled out with every now and again. When I was in my early 20s, I didn't want a boyfriend.

Monique May 12, 2008 at 4:06 PM

I feel on sometimes just wanting affection. Sometimes that all people need and not the relationship. Eventually you get tired of the empty feeling that sole affection brings. Relationships aren't so bad, it's those great ones that make them wonderful. Keep doing you boo.

Queen of My Castle May 12, 2008 at 4:49 PM

Oh gosh I sooooo feel you. I swear I was feeling this way over the weekend. Nothing like being wrapped in the arms of a man that intrigues you just as much as you intrigue him. *Sigh* I guess we can't always have it all, but I understand where you are, trust...

TravelDiva May 12, 2008 at 5:14 PM

Good luck in the ATL chica. You definitely sound restless.

soumynona May 12, 2008 at 5:15 PM

Dang, on the real its a lot of cats out there sleeping! Oh and your playlist hit that "Emotions" up! Man that used to be a classic back in the day

The Pew View May 12, 2008 at 5:34 PM

Baby they ain't nothing a man can do that a toy can't do. Well, cept cuddle you afterwards. You go and get yourself a nice toy to keep under your bed for them lonely nights and you knock yourself out wheneva the urge comes ova you.

I might be older than you, but this here old lady gets them urges too and well let's just say I can still drop it like it's hot. Take care now

Ruthie Ann

Skoolboi Krush May 12, 2008 at 6:53 PM

Seems to me like you got jumpoffs. They are just in other cities. You need somebody local, right? The best thing to do is look at some of your male friends cause I'm sure there is some sexual tension there anyway.

Anonymous May 12, 2008 at 7:42 PM

WOOOO Man!, I'm cosigning hard on this post... guys have played themselves out with me in such a way tat i don't want to be bothered with the niceties, I only want what I want when I want it, and after that they can go to their own place

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T May 12, 2008 at 7:49 PM

i need my five times a day and last babe i dated was down then wanted to stp booooo

karrie b. May 12, 2008 at 8:08 PM

i think u should go to north dakota and turn it out. maybe u can find affection there ;)


FlyyGurl May 12, 2008 at 8:50 PM

I definitely know the feelin of just wantin some "luv" and not wantn the scrub....you know, what, I'm bout to go make a phone call...
(ashleigh goes and makes phone call)
Im feelin good.lol
Ps, you read me! u make me happy!

The F$%K it List May 12, 2008 at 9:44 PM

Maybe you need to be introduced to some folks that are looking to just chill like you. Enjoy the single life as long as you can girl cause it all changes and there is no going back

Eb the Celeb May 12, 2008 at 11:43 PM

LMAO @ pew view... yeah I got me a toy... but by affection I wasnt talking about sex... just being held by a man, going out on dates, watching a game, etc... just having a man around without him have to be labeled as "my man"

@Krush - nah... my boys are just boys.. whether there is chemistry or not... I like them just being my boys

@Torrance - 5 times a day? For real for real... dang!

@karrie - you know you silly

Ms. emmotions May 13, 2008 at 5:20 AM

Eb, u knaw there really is nothin wrong with being single, its actually a moment of bliss when u owe no one an explantion for ur actions, havin fun all the way,

but seriously gal, u sure u are not wantin a real boyffie indirectly wit ur wantin affection n stuff?

antithesis May 13, 2008 at 10:45 AM

NOOOOOOOOO, not an ATL boo!!!!!!! run in another direction! maybe u'll luck up and find a gem among jagged rocks....

Rich May 13, 2008 at 4:21 PM

u might find something in the ATL alright, but he might want his boyfriend to tag along.

That's the DL Capital of the East Coast.

Mizrepresent May 13, 2008 at 8:49 PM

Gurl, hurt to bust your bubble, but you won't find him at Hairstons, try some other places though...i'll let you know when i see ya!

Veronica Wright May 20, 2008 at 10:39 AM

I'm so late but...I definitely feel you!

Help keep this site up and running

and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers