My "perfect man" box

My "perfect man" box

Labels: My life / RBW Relationship Talk

I realize there is no such thing as a perfect man, but to a certain extent everyone has that perfect man for them. My perfect man lies in a tight box. Every since I can remember I have lived by some sort of rules to the type of man that I would date and I have called this my box. In high school, I refused to date anyone that went to the same school as me. Back then, chicks were just too nosey and I'd rather not even deal with it. In college, the list got even tighter. I was never one of those that had to have a boyfriend all the time like most girls in college so I felt having a tight box on the type of men that I did date would give me plenty of time to be single. Unlike most women, I like being single. I love spending time not in a relationship. My friends have told me since high school that I will never find a man because I have too many rules. I dont have rules, I just have criteria, and I dont think anything is wrong with that. Let me explain further....

There are 8 corners to a box that keep it all intact and I have 8 criteria I go by when dating.

1. Height is a big thing with me. You have to be between 6'2 - 6'6

2. Complexion - I love the chocolate men. Caramel will work too but I love dark-skinned brothas.... not blue-black though... sorry redbones but you do nothing for me.

3. You have to have an education. I dont care what your degree is in but its just the initiative. You can have a bachelors degree in basket weaving, but as long as you have a passion and felt it was important enough to obtain higher education.

4. You have to be strong enough to put me in my place and still give me what I want. This is a tough one, because its been so hard. Either they are a push over and give me whatever I want and I run all over them, which is extremely unattractive, or they try to be all thuggish. I need the happy medium.

5. NO Kids (I have been lenient on this before and it has been a major headache)

6. Distinguished style and swagger (I cant explain this, its just something I see in you when you walk in a room. Its something that's just natural.) A couple things it embodies though is being athletic, have a keen fashion sense, being able to make me laugh and laughing with me because I can be a trip sometimes, outgoing, and love going out and having a good time just as much as you like staying home and watching a game because that is all me.

7. Entrepreneurial spirit. You dont have to be making major bucks, but you need to have a vision for something better than what you are doing and wanting to grow. I am innovative and want someone that can stimulate my mind even more. Its definitely not about the money with me... if you were a millionaire, I would still want you to be innovative and look towards ventures that would put you on that next level. Drive and passion mean a lot to me. You also have to be able to handle my drive and passion and my profession. I work in the sports industry, so yes I spend time around athletes making millions of dollars a year. I have had past boyfriends that just couldnt handle that.

8. Age - I never date a man more than 5 years older than me (My mom had me when she was 17 so I feel like if they are more than 5 years older than me, than they could be dating my mom)

Now these criteria have changed with growth. They are not the same they were in high school or college, or last year for that matter. Sometimes I bend the rules, for instance I have dated guys shorter than the said height above, I have dated guys a couple years outside the 5, and I have dated guys that went to college and didnt finish school; but for the most part I dont budge. Note though that this is the criteria I use for a serious relationship, not for the jump-offs and such... no need for all this to get some good relations.

This whole thing has come up because I met this really nice guy this past weekend in Atlanta. It's kinda freakin' me out because I usually dont like guys too quick. They usually have to put a lot of work in before I start feeling them. But I have been thinking about this dude all day, and the fact that he seems perfectly inclined with my box, except the fact that he is only 5'10...

I met him friday night in the club, and we couldnt really talk because it was a club, but our eye contact and chemistry was crazy by only exchanging a couple words. I usually dont even give my number out in clubs and even if I do I never talk to them after. I usually dont flirt with guys in clubs either but I was really flirting with him. Looking back now on that night I was nothin like my usual self. I guess that's what the "A" will do to ya. Anyway, he doesnt call me on saturday, I explained to him that I would be working. But he texts me late morning on sunday. We text back and forth for about an hour and then I invite him to be my date for the monday night football game since I had tickets. He says yes and suggests we go get dinner before to get to know each other a little bit. So now I have a date. A real date. I cant even remember the last time I had a "REAL" date.

So we link up on monday for dinner before the game and he is so inquisitive. Wanting to know everything about me. We had really good conversation during dinner and were really enjoying each others company. He graduated from Rutgers. He is within my 5 year rule, he has a good job, and very entrepreneurial, NO KIDS, Chocolate, Subtle swagger that's so endearing, and everytime I tested his manhood to see if he would let me have my way he checked me, but in a way that made me smile, not as if he was trying to control the situation. But I couldnt get over the fact that with my heels on I was taller than him. I did not remember him being that short in the club that night because I probably wouldnt even have given him my number. I know that's sad right.

Either way, I had a great time last night. So why do I keep syking myself out with his height. I dont even know why I am worried about it, it was only 1 date so there's no promising future or anything but it was fun to have a great time with someone that was so close to the contents of my perfect man box. Who knows... maybe I will let that one corner wilt away and let the light shine threw.