Dear Diary...because I am past the Woosah stage at work

First and foremost, I have to say sorry to all my readers that have been worried about me the last couple days. Didnt mean to scare anyone with my last post... but thanks so much for caring.

I've just been dealing with a lot at work the last month or so. Its actually been about 6 months, but lately its really been starting to get jacked up. You hear about the disadvantages of the corporate environment all the time... but the term "Corporate Bull" is resonating all threw my veins right now.

So just a little background, Back in the summer I was promised a promotion. Due to certain circumstances with re-org of our whole department that never happened. I was told to be patient, but that it would happen. A job description was made and I was officially suppose to be in my new position after I returned to work the day after Labor Day after having Lasik surgery. This was in september. The main reason this was going to be my effective date was because I would have a lot more responsibility throughout football season. I return to work... and nothing has been done in regards to my promotion. So basically, I have been working just about every weekend (meaning not one day off) since September and not getting paid for it because... my promotion never went threw, or never even got proposed. Then I got word last about a month ago... that its not going to go threw. So all the hard work I put it... was all for nothing. Then this past week, I was told that I need to find my own way, so that means... talk to other people in other departments, basically sucking up (something I do not do) to see if they may have a position available for me... Now aint that a blip!

Apparently they are moving all production to CT, and in order to stay in production I would have to move. Then I found out the person that I would be moving to work under is no longer going to be over production, so if I did take the option to move I would be working for someone I cant stand, who has no innovation, and I wouldnt even be moving into the original position that was agreed upon.

Then to add insult to injury... the people in HR hate me... so there going to make everything as difficult as possible. But I could care less who likes me, the thing that I am pissed about is that my boss didnt stick up for me. I have been bussing my ass the past 2 1/2 years that I have been working for him. Letting him know when he wasnt on point on something and when people were talking, and for the most part he got it right and tried to better himself and was recently promoted to SVP when all that re-org mess went down. But yet I see people in our group that dont do anything, but just because they complain to him all the time, and he doesnt feel like hearing it, they steady move up the food chain just so he can shut them up. But people like me who dont complain, and hope that my work speaks for itself, get fucked.

But I dont know why I am surprised. I am a double negative in this industry. I am black and a female working in sports. I'm not the type to take shit from anyone so I am considered the angry black bitch in the office. You can only be 1 of 3 things in the office when you're female. The angry black bitch, the complacent one, or the schmoozer. The complacent one is just so damn happy that they are even working at ESPN. So they just go threw day to day tip toeing around all superiors. Never really having an opinion about anything, never going to advance, the one who allows themself to get looked over, just having the name ESPN on their email and business card is enough. This person will probably be at ESPN in the same position for 10 years. Get moved up to another entry level position with a 2 cent raise and dont say anything. The one that will probably retire at 65 and only have moved to a manager position. This person is smart, they just dont know their worth. The schmoozer is considered the girl whose nice and sweet to everyone and cant possibly know anything about sports. That she can only be in this industry because she wants to sleep with athletes, agents, or talent. I am definitely not the latter, nor the complacent one, so therefore I am the angry black bitch. The one that busses her ass and does good work, but because she isnt in everyone's faces all the time, and walking around wanting everybody to like her... she is considered the angry black bitch, no matter how well she does her job.

Crazy, because I saw a white female, in my same situation, that some people didnt necesarily like, and she moved into a position last year that she wasnt even qualified for. We started on the same level and yet she's moved right up. When she got in her new roll she was coming to me constantly asking questions about the product. I mean she has a degree from the Fashion Institute for heaven's sake, and now she's a manager of sponsorships...how the hell did that get approved, and yet I'm having problems. She knew absolutely nothing about ad sales, or the business model. I have experience, the degree to back it, and have already been doing the damn job... and yet I dont get promoted.

The bad thing about the whole situation, is that its some brothas and sistas in HR that are giving my boss a problem with promoting me. Now aint that a blip. People that I dont even work for or with, questioning my competency. They dont even know what the hell I've been doing for the past 6 months, and I blaim that on my boss because I dont feel as if he's been sticking up for me, and standing up for me to them. But then again, how much can I expect from him. I've seen many passed over for promotions and work has gone unappreciated, so I dont know how I felt I would be different especially when I have the double negative.

I have really been struggling with what I want my next steps to be. I always knew this corporate thing isnt for me. I had my RBW plan having me done with corporate america and having my own business by 30. I'm only 26 so I'm not quite ready to take that leap yet. I have an opportunity that came my way a couple months ago in chicago... whose door is still open, but at the time I was in grad school and not trying to make that move. I still dont think I'm ready to make that move even though I'm done with school. So honestly, I dont know what the new year holds. I took this entire week off work... so we'll see in 2008.

Around the beginning of October, I really felt that 2008 was going to be a major year in regards to my career. I just felt that big and better things beyond my imagination were going to unfold. But the way the year is starting, I'm not so sure anymore. Well, this post has gotten long enough. Gotta go get ready for church.

And yes... after all that cussing... I am about to go to church... please dont judge me... the angry black bitch is not in the mood right now!

7 comments

The [In]Urbane Goddess December 23, 2007 at 5:08 PM

Sister Ebonne,
From one "Angry Black Bitch" to another--in the midst of this storm remember your breakthrough can and will happen in the blink of an eye. I endured a hellacious job situation for two years, and the most perfect position for me was laid before my feet this summer. It was totally unexpected and clearly nothing but God. Be encouraged. Try as they might they cannot alter the path that was set in place before you were born.

Mizrepresent December 23, 2007 at 7:23 PM

Keep your head up lady...i know i don't visit your blog very much, or moreso...i don't comment...but i do support any sister trying to make it in this world, and so i support you, and you can believe that on the real. Keep your head up...go for what you want and make it happen...believe me...it will as long as you keep believing...trust...i'm almost 2 times your age and live to tell and share...it will happen for you.

MysTery December 23, 2007 at 8:01 PM

Lol, girl you are a mess. But seriously, I hate to hear you are going through that. It is happening for a reason though. Rather you choose to take it or not, the fact that you have another option is a blessing.

Big things can and will happen with your career. This is up to you. Pray and be blessed in 2008 and beyond!

Keep your head up!!

Afrodite December 24, 2007 at 1:49 PM

I love that you don't apologize for being an "angry black bitch". I'm right there with you.

Don December 24, 2007 at 4:13 PM

Like I said, if I were you Ebonne, I'd voice my concerns in the form of a letter. See what that does, and if nothing changes or if you feel like their reply is not suitable ... wait, you smart enough to handle your own business. lol.

Seriously though, stay up.

Happy Holidays.

Jonzee December 26, 2007 at 10:39 PM

Eb,

I agree with Don. This is going to take some corporate chess, and a lot of praying. I have found in my own career that, one can be the "angry black bitch" without it seeming as such. A fact based letter demonstrating your dissapointment with not getting a promotion is so so necessary. Document everything. Highlight concrete examples of how you have improved the team, made your bosses life easier, etc. And, yes, making the rounds, with that same "I'm the sh$%, here's what I have done approach, will benefit you as well. This is an opportunity--as all difficult times are--to get into a position that you are perfect for that will use your time and talent in a manner that can only make you shine!

Good luck--I will keep you in my prayers.

P.S. You never know who's reading.

mp1 December 30, 2007 at 10:23 AM

Keep your nose to the grindstone....and let your feelings be known. A closed mouth won't get fed.

As far as this corporate world, I feel you. I'm a little younger but I'm realizing that this is not the life for me. You've got a plan mapped out. I need to get on mine

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