CHEATING Scenario!!!

So here it is... a friend of mine needs advice on a situation so I told her I would post it on my blog to see what kind of feedback I get from my readers in the blogosphere.

So, she has had sort of a crush on a guy for the past year. But nothing serious. Just thought he was cute, also the fact that she was good friends with the guys brother, she never even really thought about pursuing the guy anyway. In the past 2 months though, she really started considering it, but found out he has a girlfriend. They still exchanged numbers and began speaking on the phone every blue moon strictly as friends. In the past week he has really started to confide in her with regards to his relationship. He has been with the girl for the past 4 years and never cheated on her, but in the past 6 months their relationship has been up and down and they've been breaking up and getting back together like every other week. Within this time frame he has cheated on her with 4 different girls. Him and my friend hung out a couple days ago and things got kind of hot and heavy but they didnt have sex. She told him she wouldnt because she knew that he still has a girlfriend and believe's heavily in karma. She told him that she liked him but that she couldnt take it there until it was officially over with his girl.

Now, the questions she is asking me are:

1. Haven't we already cheated since we did everything but, so I might as well just seal the deal?
2. Is she really in the wrong? Since he's already made up his mind, since he has already been dipping out on his girl for the past 6 months, she feels as if she's not the problem.
3. What would you do if you were in the same situation?

Ultimately, I told her that no matter what she decides to do in the future that she is enabling his behavior. He needs to make up his mind and not string his girlfriend along. If indeed the two have grown apart, then he needs to completely let her go. But what do you all think?

This whole scenario made me think of the movie "Best Man". Remember when Nia Long's character was still going to give the goods to Taye Diggs character even though she knew he has a girlfriend that was on her way into town for the wedding. Here is the trailor just in case you guys forgot about this movie.

6 comments

Smarty Jones January 1, 2008 at 5:52 AM

Damn Eb, that's deep. Well, first and foremost, he started cheating when he started "confiding" in your friend about his relationship.
Emotional cheating is just as bad if not worse than cheating physically.
Second of all, as Karamo in the Philly season of The Real World said, "Karma is a bitch," and an evil one at that. So the bottom line is she needs to be careful.
To answer the second question, anytime you do the opposite of right it is wrong. The best way to handle that is to put herself in his girlfriend's shoes.
And what would I do, I honestly don't know. I don't do the hypothecial question thing because it usually gets me into trouble. We (people) tend to talk a lot of shit about what should happen and what we should be doing. But the majority of the time, we hardly ever do what we say we would do.
I would just tell your friend to be extremely cautious. Some people are crazy.
Just my $.02.
P.S. By the way, don't get freaked out by the time stamp, I am still up from my New Year's Celebration. Can't sleep, too hopped up on Sprite! :-) Happy New Year!!!

Nicole January 1, 2008 at 12:28 PM

"He has been with the girl for the past 4 years and never cheated on her, but in the past 6 months their relationship has been up and down and they've been breaking up and getting back together like every other week. Within this time frame he has cheated on her with 4 different girls."

Ah, is that really the type of man she wants to be with? Also, I don't believe that you run from one relationship to another without taking time to refocus yourself first - especially after 4 years with someone. To me it sounds like he wants your friend to be girl #5 but he'll head back to his girlfriend soon after.

Don January 2, 2008 at 12:04 AM

Hold up man, yo asz is jacking my ish!

lmao!

Eb the Celeb January 2, 2008 at 8:03 AM

@Don... what I jack.. what I jack...LOL!

The [In]Urbane Goddess January 3, 2008 at 7:07 PM

Hmmmm...tough one to call, but I think I would leave that shit alone. Relationships, regardless how you define them, or complicated enough on their own. To begin one with a person who is still bound to someone else is a situation I'm not trying to get into. While I guess there is an argument for him being honest about the situation, I personally wouldn't get entangled in some guaranteed future bullshit.

MysTery January 4, 2008 at 3:42 PM

She needs to wait until it is totally broken off.

ACTUALLY, I really wouldn't mess with him since he has been cheating. She wouldn't want him to cheat on her later on. KnowwhatImean!?

Help keep this site up and running


and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers