I woke up this morning and realized I have no girlfriends!!!

I dont know why it just hit me but it did. For the first time in my life I have no real girlfriend that I tell everything to, that knows everything about me, that I can come to about any and everything going on in my life and it has saddened me a bit. I mean I have my mom, who I tell almost everything to, we are truly best friends... but its just not the same. I think I probably tell my close guy friends more about me than I tell any female in my life right now. I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I got to this point. 

*** Warning that I am about to embarass myself with some of the pictures I am about to share with the blog world but oh well. What's the point of making fun of other people if you can t make fun of yourself sometimes too. So before you see them, yes I had hideous glasses at one time, and yes I put them to rest for some purple contacts... No lie detector test needed, I admit it.

So in elementary school my bestfriend was Colleen. She was a white girl and not sure why we were friends because I hung with all the black kids but me and her just clicked. Then we went to separate middle schools and never really kept in touch after. (Sorry I dont have a pic)

In middle school it was Ellen, me and her were like 2 pees in a pod... always spending the night over each other's houses, when one had a boyfriend we would make his friend be our friends boyfriend... It was hilarious. Then we went to separate high school and never talked too much after. It was funny though that we recently found each other on myspace and shoot each other a message from time to time. She is married with beautiful children. Its funny to see people your age living a totally different life than you are because I have no kids and not even close to having a husband. (Sorry, I dont have a pic here either)  

Of course those that grew up in the church had a church BFF. The partner in crime that would get you in trouble for talking during the sermon. That girl for me was Gabrielle. No matter whether we were in bible study, in the choir, in dance rehearsal, or step team rehearsal we were always together if it had anything to do with church. We still keep in touch til this day. She lives in Atlanta now and we make appoint to go out or at least see each other everytime I am in town.
Then in high school it was Ernestine. Me and her were some trouble makers. None of the chicks liked us. We talked soooo much junk and didnt care who had a problem with it. We actually wanted someone to have a problem with it. Not too many chicks liked us but they never told us... all the guys loved us though... We could hang. Plus for the most part of high school we dressed like them and better than them. (This was the time when girls dressed like boys) Then I left and went to college and she staying in Rochester. She got pregnant so when I came back home on the holidays she could never go out so we lost touch as well. 


In college I had more female friends than I've ever had in my life. This was mainly because your freshman year you're put in these suites full of 8 girls and all the girls in my suite got really tight. We were suite 303 and came to call ourselves the 303 girls (check out the pic, we even had t-shirts made). There were a couple other girls that werent in the suite that would hang with us too. Dede, Wena, Kim, Tameka, TC, Shadonna, Greedy, and I were the main members of the click. We use to party it up together. Whew... those were the days and North Carolina A&T State University. We use to go out just about every friday to see the Body Snatchers (strippers), and spent plenty of other nights at club playhouse. Those were the days. We all werent the closest of friends but when it came to helping Kim pass math, or going to the club, or helping one threw an abortion (yes I truly struggled with this one, since I dont believe in it) we were all there for each other. Its crazy that I cant really call any of them my true friends now. Some of them I havent talked to since graduation. Some of them hit me on myspace from time to time, and then others I only talk to or see if I come back to NC for my homecoming. 

When you are in college far away though, you do have that one friend that you call up everytime you go home for the holidays or whatever occasional weekend when you're homesick, and for me that is Nikki. She calls me the week before telling me what the new clubs back home are and where we are going out when I get in town. Its like clockwork, Easter, Memorial Day , 4th of July or Labor Day (I only go home for 1 of the 3), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It never fails. This picture is from the all-white party a couple years ago that they have back home every 4th of July.


In 2004 I moved to NY. The majority of people I knew here were all men. A lot of guys from Rochester that I grew up with live here and a lot of guys I met when I was working in radio that are big time in the NYC music industry live here... and thats basically the gyst of the guys I hang out with. My boy CL, who I love to death basically took me in and adopted me into the NY social scene when I first moved here. He is like the big brother that I never had, and it didnt hurt that he only has a younger brother so it was a perfect fit. He is someone I confide in about almost everything... whether its personal or business I know I can come to him about anything and he will give it to me straight.

Another person I know I can go to is my mentor Tap Money. He is the one who hired me for my first radio gig. He will always and forever be a special person in my life. He got me threw some hard relationships in college and really has taught me diligence and patience in regards to my career. He probably knows more about me on a professional and personal level than anybody. I am forever grateful that God brought him into my life. We talk to each other at least a couple times a week and he has been a crucial part in my growth as a young professional.

I have always been that girl that had a lot of guy friends and that could relate to guys more. I have always been that girl that guys wish their girlfriends were like (except the fact that I talk a lot... my boys words not mine...lol) because I love sports, I'm easy going, for the most part not hard to please, and I'm not all prissy. 

I do have 1 girlfriend I guess. My roommate Joy. She is more of my "When I'm ready to party" partner moreso than a girlfriend. We dont really talk in depth about our careers or personal lives but we know the general things. We talk about our celebrity crushes, favorite TV shows, etc. but nothing too deep. She comes to me with questions about sports and we do talk about our professional goals a little. But basically all we do is live and party together. I have known her since middle school so its kinda weird that we arent closer than we are but maybe that will change. We have only been roommates for about a year.

So I dont really have the "girlfriend" girlfriend that I use to and its kinda bothering me today. I mean I still have guys I can go to about anything in the world, and sometimes its better to get their opinion anyway because for the most part it wont be biased. It will be truly how they feel and wont be swayed by the opposite sex whereas a woman might give you advice based on how she handled something with an ex versus general information. Even still, it would be nice to still have that girlfriend. My "ace" that I know I can go to about any and everything. 

10 comments

Skoolboi Krush December 17, 2007 at 8:00 PM

Eb - You are a brave soul to show some of them pics. LOL Especially that first one from A&T. Nothing like that Aggie Pride, huh! Let me say that the legs are fierce.

On topic: As far as friends go, its more important to have good quality folks regardless of gender. At least that is how I look at it. All my friends are female.

Don December 17, 2007 at 11:34 PM

This is probably the best up close and personal post that you've done since I started reading your blogs.

I really enjoyed reading the post w/ the pictures which gave life to your words.

Props.

Sidebar: That all white party looks like a mofo. lol.

TheIcon December 18, 2007 at 12:22 AM

Great post. You made me re-examine my life and I realize that I have a couple of girlfriends that I am really tight with. My best friend actually came from my years in college. We are tighter than tight.

But I do agree that it doesn't matter the gender of the person as long as he or she is a good person.

Stacie von Kutieboots December 18, 2007 at 6:22 AM

whew. them HBCU throwvack pics are no joke!

no worries if you don't have a female ace. you have CL and your mom, best of both worlds if you ask me :-)

Ebonne December 18, 2007 at 9:47 PM

@Krush... i know i know... I had some pics that werent as bad in high school... but thats the only one that you could really see that I had purple contacts... lol... I still cant believe I went threw that stage... but like I said... it you can make fun of yourself then you shouldnt make fun of others, oh and thanks for the leg comment... that's how I reel em in in the summertime...lol

@Don... you know I posted the pics just for you Don... I know their your favorite types of post... I guess just my words arent good enough for you...lol... joking

@icon... writing this post really made me embrace the fact that I have the guys I do in my life that I can confide in... and I'm happy

@stacie... girl... I wouldnt take back going to an HBCU for undergrad for anything in the world... I learned so much about myself... and had a ball doing it...lol

The Diva's Thoughts December 19, 2007 at 9:17 AM

Girl, Girl, Girl!!! You and I are so on the same page. I actually did a blog a while ago about the inability to get too close to people thus not having real close relationships and how I wish I had a REALLY CLOSE female friend I can do everything with and discuss everything with. I used to have that and now that I don't I really miss it.

Girl how I can relate to what you are saying here!

Queen of My Castle December 19, 2007 at 3:32 PM

I feel you. I have never really been all that close to women, though, because they are sneaky and most have ulterior motives for becoming your friend. I digress now. LOL

Don December 21, 2007 at 3:23 PM

Your blogs are one of the more engaging reads. I appreciate you for that. Can't you see? lol.

Smarty Jones December 22, 2007 at 11:02 PM

Eb, you and I are polar opposites in this situation. While I was growing up, I had a lot of male friends but that all changed when I got to A&T.
All through high school, I couldn't get along well with any one or group of females because I think I was a little too real and I gave them too much truth all the time.
Either way, when I got to A&T, I started hanging out with a bunch of females who hung out with guys in high school so we were all cool with each other.
I agree with the prior posts though, you should really be concerned about the quality of the friendships you already have instead of the gender of the person.
There is nothing like a great friend. They come few and far between and it doesn't matter if they are male or female.

mp1 December 30, 2007 at 10:13 AM

hopefully you can get one...but if you get more, will the men's relationships be cast aside?

And I'm in love with those legs!!

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