Someone convince me that Love can be forever
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Datin' Sexin' Lovin'...oh my /
Music /
My life /
RBW Relationship Talk
Yes I believe the above to be true but I don't believe that "wanting" to be with someone forever makes it so. I'm such a cynic when it comes to love. Makes it hard to take anyone I date seriously because at this point in my life I'm over the feeling of being "in love." Yes that feeling is like no other but for me if it isn't going to last forever I'd rather not even go there. Men seem to think this is because of past relationships that I feel that way but it's not. I am still friends with all my exes, I'm just not at a place in life where I want to add more exes to my list. I'd rather just date and have fun without the slightest bit of love ever involved since I don't believe that it will last forever.
I over-analyze everything so no need for me to go to a shrink to figure out why I am this way because I know. Way before I even fell in love the first time when I was a teenager I saw my great grandparents go through a divorce. I couldn't believe that at their age they would even consider it. I mean you spent all these years together, why at this time in your life would you just give up on the love you had. I was truly hurt. Going to my grandparent's house, where my great grandfather was my heart, and not have him there, seemed so unnatural. He would always come over and visit me when I was there but it just wasn't the same. He died when I was around 14 before the divorce was even final. Had a new girlfriend and everything that came to the funeral and my family treated her so bad. Like she didn't belong. Although I didn't want her there either, I felt bad. She was the love my great grandfather had when he died.
As time went on I witnessed my mother get married and divorced a couple times and my father to this day still has never been married. How am I suppose to believe that Love can last forever when more times than not in my family it hasn't? I do have a grandmother that loved my grandfather til no end until the day that he died. Watched him suffer with lung cancer for the last couple years of his life. He was truly her first, last, and everything. She moved directly from her parent's house when she was 18 with him since they were married. All the love she knew was in my grandfather, to the point that when he died my mom and aunts had to take turns staying with her in the house because she didn't want to be in the house alone. I never saw two people that loved each other more than my maternal grandparents. I strive for that kind of unconditional love that will last forever but I don't believe it's attainable with all the other instances in my life where love didn't last forever.
Will I ever let myself open up with someone enough to engage the possibilities that a current love may be the love that can last forever? I'm not so sure. The love lost stories and what coulda shoulda woulda been are beyond lame and I'd rather not have anymore to add to my life. I really don't want to love at all if it isn't going to be forever. I know that's selfish, and I know more times than not you should live in the moment and let things flow but I'm over all that bull. Can you "make" me love you? I'm sure there may be instances in which it can be done but what man will put in that work for something that is temporary since I don't believe it will last forever. An extreme romantic that believes enough for the both of us that it can and will last forever. I'm not convinced this man exists. So yeah I'm back to not loving at all if it isn't going to last forever. Thinking too much? Maybe, but it's not my fault. Jazmine Sullivan's music has been causing trouble in this regard. I've had the following tracks on repeat:
Throughout this revelation as you can see I'm still a cynic so I leave you with this.
Does this mean I have to fall in love with a vampire. Someone please convince me LOVE can be forever without having to get my blood sucked out of me. Thx in advance.
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