Question of the day : Unsatisfying SEX

I think I recently realized something about myself that makes me kinda of proud. Its always great to reflect and see growth in yourself without someone having to point it out. Many people say that if the sex is unsatisfying... I'm not just saying blatantly bad, just somewhat unsatisfying, that they couldn't be with the person. Even I, who isn't really the most sexual person on the planet, couldn't be with someone where the sex was just blatantly bad, but in my maturity I think I could be with someone where the sex was unsatisfying at times. Fact of the matter is I'm stimulated by other things besides just the sex. Something like thisranks on the same level as sex for me and peaks the same amount of orgasmic fluids. If everything else was in place, ie. I loved him, he loved me and treated me like a queen, he had an amazing personality, and he makes me smile, and is smart and driven; I could still be in a relationship with him even with metiocre sex. Part of me feels like if he's perfect in every other way... I could deal with him only getting the sex right 1 out of 5 times and would rather have him than the dude who is wrong in every other way but gives me the business so good that Jesus himself would still give me a pass to heaven and understand the reason for the premarital sex.

So question for the day? Could you live happily ever after with someone in which the sex was not always satisfying for you?

Oh and you can't be a mother without having sex, so a quick segue to say Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Especially the ones that act as a mother to children who aren't theirs. You women are phenomenal and make the world go round. Also a quick biggups to my mommy... love you much, as well as my 2 sisters, Ashley & Kaz for having beautiful baby boys so that mom wouldn't be looking at me (the oldest child) to give her some grandchildren.

Don't forget to continue this SEX conversation
tomorrow night at 8pm on RBW radio!!!


Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts May 9, 2009 at 2:51 PM

If the sex is unsatisfying I think I would have to bounce. I would get so bored. I know me.

100K May 9, 2009 at 3:31 PM

Um.....nah...i've heard it takes ppl three times to get used to each other sexually...if after the third time, she's wack..I'd just dead it

Eb the Celeb May 9, 2009 at 3:41 PM

LMAO @ 100K... stop sleeping with chicks that be giving up the booty all I'm sure if she waited and ya'll were really feeling each other before ya'll had sex you wouldn't be as cold... or at least I hope

100K May 9, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Chicks have this impression of me that I get w/e I want. Totally not true but if they think so, i aint gonna change it.

Anyway, it aint's just that sex is important. Blue Balls are THE WORSE ugh...Never again..

Keith May 9, 2009 at 4:24 PM

I could if I loved them and they loved me and everything else was right, just like you said.

xxxx May 9, 2009 at 8:05 PM

I can be in a realationship with someone if the sex was not all of that. Like you said i rather "ok" sex witha good man than "mind blowing" sex with an asshole. I guess a you mature you realize what you can do with and without. Dont get me wrong sex is good but if you will just have to kind of rewire him and teach him some new things. Spice up your sex life with that person but I rather a man over a dog anyday so I will take the okay sex.

Kryssy May 9, 2009 at 10:37 PM

What... no one wants to TEACH anymore? If the sex is wack... I give instructions, move hands and (other parts) to where I want... and whisper how I want it in the ear of my partner.
It's all about communicating what you want... and THIS is why I NEVER have unfulfulling sex.
(Yes I'm bragging!) LOL

Smarty Jones May 9, 2009 at 11:54 PM

Honestly, I don't see how you can have terrible sex with someone you love. Maybe I'm naive here but the main purpose for having sex should be to get closer to someone you feel a connection with.
To tell the truth, I have never been sexually satisfied by a dude I didn't care about. Sex for me is the physical manifestation all of my emotions.
Plus, if I care, I'm letting the locs down and you get almost all the freak in me and I expect the same. No reservations or hesistations and there are no issues with taking direction because you want to please your partner, no?
So, in theory, you can't have bad sex with the person you love. First comes love, then comes good love-making. *shrugs* But maybe that's just me.

Anonymous May 10, 2009 at 9:30 AM

Like you were saying Eb, it depends on the maturity of not only the person but also of the relationship. If its just a jump off, the sex betta be on point. However, when you're building a lasting relationship with someone whom you love and you know loves you, you wink at not so mind blowing sex.

I said all that to say that yeah, if I loved a dude and he loved me and everthing else was perfect, I could be with him although he wasnt as sexually advanced as I would like.

Anonymous May 10, 2009 at 11:35 AM

It depends. Here are my criteria for staying if the sex is not good:

1. Person is open to some suggestions

2. Open to trying some new stuff.

3. I have to love and really care about this person.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© May 10, 2009 at 1:55 PM

I don't think so because one day your gonna get fed up and maybe cheat...:(

Eb the Celeb May 10, 2009 at 2:40 PM

All those that expressed teaching... you were right on point!

Charles May 10, 2009 at 6:26 PM

This is a good question. I would be able to stay no doubt...but she GOTTA be open to suggestions...and trying new things, and likewise I would do what I could too to help with the situation. Like others have already said, love definitely plays a great part in everything...and if you love the person, you should be able to work through it...literally and physically. Do work!

Blu Jewel May 10, 2009 at 7:04 PM

After experiencing the most gratifying sex and being left so satisfied that I had to rename my G-spot to his initial 'spot', I don't even know how to answer this question. I'm going to digress and revel in the residual glow!!

love to live; live to love!

JSADTheKing May 11, 2009 at 11:00 AM

Wack Sex = No Me. My thing is a lot of people don't realize that if they put as much time into learning how to be good at sex as they did other things they probably wouldn't be wack. Sex just like anything else takes a little bit of effort and practice. Shyt do men know you can even add a little length and width just my masturbating properly? Look at sex like you look at anything else you really want to be good at and always be willing to learn something new.

PRIMO May 11, 2009 at 12:32 PM

Amen To JSADTheKing.... AMEN!

Tunde May 11, 2009 at 3:54 PM

i'm a very sexual person. with that said i would still agree with you. although i couldn't have satisfying sex only 1 out every 5 times. i need it to be at least the majority. if i love her and she loves me we are both going to have our off performances. the key is not to have back to back bad performances. :-)

Seven May 11, 2009 at 9:14 PM

"So question for the day? Could you live happily ever after with someone in which the sex was not always satisfying for you?"

Not at all

Lex Boogie May 12, 2009 at 3:24 AM

I believe love is the key to any sexual relationship. Period as well as communication. If I loved them I would definately attempt to work on it . There are toys classes and retreats for just this reason.

But if there isn't any real emotion invovled, um no . BYE!

Mr. B2B May 12, 2009 at 4:12 AM

I need Kryssy's digits... ASAP!!

Dope query Eb..
Truth be told, you learn from them at every opportunity...
- when you give her a massage
- when you kiss her in different (new) places
- when you just LISTEN to her

read intimacy Eb, and then dope love-making, capisch?

and yeah, about Kryssy's digits..

miss-b. May 13, 2009 at 8:54 PM

absolutely not.

i've been in situations where the sex was great but we just didn't mesh well so i had to cut the dude loose. i've also been in situations where we clicked instantly but the sex was horrible so i had to roll. that just goes to show, sex isn't everything but it's definitely high on the priority list.

nice blog, btw. =)

clnmike May 15, 2009 at 2:35 PM

Over a period of time? I mean how bad would the sex be? You can only go so far off love.

Help keep this site up and running

and be sure to follow @thegirthpodcast instagram for hilarious sex memes and on twitter episode highlights and daily sex articles.

My Renaissance People aka Blog Subscribers