LMAO @ T.I. Holding out on the D*CK

I laughed out loud at Tiny saying... "before you go to sleep, I do need it" and T.I. getting all bashful and blushing on camera.

So I guess it ain't just us around the way girls that ain't getting none, celeb wifey's ain't getting no regular action either. Actually I broke down and got some... I met this fine arse whiteboy through a mutual friend and we hit it off. I don't want to get into details, but "something new" just might be on the horizon and the way for me to go. I mean he did any and everything during foreplay. Ish that a brotha would look at you funny for wanting to partake in and I ain't even have to ask. I asked myself over and over again why I took so long to partake in the lighter nation, but dammit it was worth the wait.

But just because I got some doesn't mean I don't still feel the pain of the RBW's out there that ain't getting any, so I think I might start a Coochie Cobwebs petition. Too many coochies around the world have went untouched for far too long and the madness has to stop. Whose willing to sign... hit me up in the comments!

Guys, you can comment too, but only if you got that good good and can be part of the process of eliminating some of these cobwebs from our coochies in an out of body experience type of way. After not getting any for a while we don't want anything mediocre, so please read and click that X on the top of the page if you know you can't deliver...lol.

Oh and April Fool's on that little part about me messing with a whiteboy...lol. Ain't got up that nerve yet. Still 4 months and counting of Eb's coochie being unscathed...lol!


Anonymous April 1, 2009 at 10:19 AM

I was about to ask questions bout the white boy penis...like is it really pink. lol You got me.

I love TI. And that part of the show was so funny.

It's going on 2.5 months for me.(not by choice) But dammit I don't have any cobwebs....thanks to my bullet!

Anonymous April 1, 2009 at 10:23 AM

That looks like Justin's (Diddy's restaurant). I can't believe they were downing that food.

And TI is so country..."you can't scare me with a good time".

Darius T. Williams April 1, 2009 at 10:24 AM

Oh - you have blog moderation - I'm sure i'm not first then.

Um...so yea, you probably did do a white boy. 4 months? I'm proud of you!

The Jaded NYer April 1, 2009 at 10:38 AM

OOOH- you know you wrong for that one! My jaw was on the ground and I started praying, "Please don't let it be some hipster or wanna-be-black white boy!!"

Girl, you know I'm old- my pressure can't take it!

And I would sign the petition but I'm actually purposely not looking for any activities right now; I'd hate to get dudes all amp'd thinking they're about to experience Jaded bliss just to have me side eye them to death LOL

Blu Jewel April 1, 2009 at 10:55 AM

OMG! I was seriously LMAO out load at my desk. You were dead wrong for the April Fools joke. @ Southern gal, I've dabbled in the Lighter Nation as Eb calls it and now their penises aren't pink. It's actually a darker than the rest of their body; go figure.

Eb, you might wanna turn your April Fools joke into a reality; TRUST ME!!! And no, they don't all have lil d*cks! *wink*

And finally, I might have to sign up...Though it's only been 36 days, I'm not sure when my next will be...I went over 2yrs without it between 06-08...YOWZERS!

love to live; live to love!

Anonymous April 1, 2009 at 11:07 AM

I am officially signing my name to the Coochie Cobwebs list. I'm getting it sporadically and not feeling this at all. Must be remedied immediately!

Beautifully.Conjured.Up April 1, 2009 at 11:41 AM

Like my friend said, "Once you go white, you know you've been licked right."


Creative1k April 1, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Go Eb, I've been chilling for the past 6 months, and I believe it'll be worth my best interest to continue. Now for experiencing the lighter nation, I've been considering to upgrade to a Bill or Ted 750 (that is his credit score, gotta have some type of additional perks!!!) I say just enjoy urself!!!!


ANGELINA April 1, 2009 at 11:51 AM

You totally fooled me! I was sitting here like 'Go Eb!' haha!

Somethin Special... April 1, 2009 at 12:07 PM

lol @Jaded NYer I feel u I was about to sign the petition as well but this isnt an involuntary lack of activity... 6 months down **Half smile** Sorry I can't muster a full one. lol

Ess.Dott April 1, 2009 at 12:52 PM

See, that's why they got all them damn kids!

Oh, and I can't sign your petition either. As much as I want to, I'm not givin' it up to just anybody. Single=celibate.

Smarty Jones April 1, 2009 at 1:32 PM

OH-EM-GEE EB!!! You asshole!!! Don't you ever scare me like that again! LMAO!!!
Girl, I thought you had switched over. I was about to have all kindsa questions for you!!!
Oh my gaaaa!!! I can't front though, that was a good one. That was awesome! You punked your whole damn readership!
I can't even comment anymore.

The F$%K it List April 1, 2009 at 2:10 PM

HAHA, I knew you didnt cross over to the lighter side, hell you don't even like light skinned Black dudes.

Any way I love me some T.I and when I saw that part of the show I laughed and thought it was too cute. Still do.

GemisMyName April 1, 2009 at 3:11 PM

You're horrible for that cruel joke. I met a cute white attorney in my bldg today. I just might have to go out with him. Shoot, why not? I'll tell yall about it when I do. Haha!

On the TI/Tiny thing, I was not sure what she said that had him blushing like that. You know that chile can't talk!! I was like huh? What did she say so bad? Now I know. I guess Tiny was like "if I'm waiting a year and a day you BEST break me off a little something tonight"! I hope she don't get preggers again though...

Anonymous April 1, 2009 at 4:04 PM

LMAO about the April Fools joke and the petition! Coochie Cobwebs??!?!!!

Beautifully.Conjured.Up April 1, 2009 at 4:30 PM

OK, I'm slow...I just read where it said it's an April Fool's joke...damn!

Keith April 1, 2009 at 4:38 PM

Why you playin? lolol..

You had me going and then I scrolled down and saw it was an April Fools Joke.

Four Months huh?? Wow...I went for six months once...that was pretty lean times...I just wasn't feelin anyone literally and figurtively.

MDUBB April 1, 2009 at 5:06 PM

Unscathed Coochie sounds like a title for something. You should use that for something.

J. F. April 1, 2009 at 8:12 PM

I was so believing you went over the lighter nation. Damn April fools day!!!!

Kryssy April 1, 2009 at 8:12 PM

omg.... I nearly died when I read about the white-boy. lol
Girl... u need a vaccum to get rid of those coochie cobwebs... one with a hose. *wink wink*

mzvirgo April 1, 2009 at 8:51 PM

I almost believed you when you said you had some vanilla.

Untouched Jewel April 1, 2009 at 11:04 PM

Good April Fool's joke. Girl, I went 4 years celibate, once! That was the most gruesome time of my life. I don't know if I can hold out that long again, but I will do my best to lock it down since menfolk like to lie to get some and then shoot the breeze to the next trick. I'm spent on sex. Keep going, Eb! I'm rooting for ya.

Ms. Liryc April 1, 2009 at 11:39 PM

eb, you are dead ass'd wrong for th is.. I was gonna be like damn you crossed over too!! Jeez, I heard the saying but I didn't know it came over to you too.. *saying is once you go white no one else does you right!

You ain't right, just ain't right but I fell for it.. but about that coochie cobwebs petition I'll sign, though voluntarily decided not to get into any action (10 months and counting) I don't mind signing it... YOU GOT ME..

A.M. April 2, 2009 at 12:44 AM

ah ha...good april fools. I was aboout to say, "wasnt this the same women who just about a month ago said she could not get down like that." lol

Mr. B2B April 2, 2009 at 2:30 AM

"I might start a Coochie Cobwebs

dope post Eb...
if it did happen....

Eb the Celeb April 2, 2009 at 11:01 AM

@Southern Gal - Justin's is disgusting... so bad they closed down the one in NY

@jaded - you know I'm saving myself for Channing Tatum... I'm surprised you fell for it...even if only for a hot sec...lol

@blu jewel- its crazy cuz I met this cute white guy last night... older... used to play pro baseball... now works in finance... we talked for at least an hour in this bar... we exchanged info... so something new might just be on the horizon

@Somethin Special - Mine is voluntary too... I needed to remove the dickmotization from my life for a while

@MDUBB - you like that dont you...lol

@untouched jewel - I dont know how you did it... I think I would forget how...lol

Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 11:25 AM

Girl you are so damn silly. That was funny. I was reading like...damn... play wit Eb! Girl it's been about 3 months for me too...but I think it's me. I'm starting to feel a little insecure about this gut girl...ugh!" don't touch my stomach dammit!" lol


Anonymous April 2, 2009 at 1:06 PM

So, I'm confused. What are you trying to accomlish with this petition? Are trying to hook up all the bloggers who are in a dry spell?

Mr.Slish April 2, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Here I am about to give you a standing O! Then I read Bluey's comment...Dayum I thought you finally got yo titties outta cement...lol 4 months ain't that bad in early 20's i did 8 months...lol

CC April 2, 2009 at 10:03 PM

Boo- I believed you about the white boy!

LadyWritesTheBlues April 3, 2009 at 1:01 AM

lol-I've been missing, but I see you're still here and still hilarious. Hope all is well!

KIKI April 3, 2009 at 9:22 AM

I'll read the comments later. I just didnt want to miss out on signing the Coochie Cobwebs petition.

*brushes cobwebs away*

I'm not too late, am I?

KIKI April 3, 2009 at 9:26 AM

But I did think that was cute as hell the way TI was blushin...talkin bout that girl momma gone be callin her. LOL Sh*t, if I were her momma, I'd be callin T.I, tellin him to get on his job, and break my baby girl off!

But that's just the kinda mother I am *shrugs*.

Jada April 3, 2009 at 11:11 AM

Damn I just realized I'm back up to five months again. Dah well!

Ms Taurus April 3, 2009 at 3:45 PM

ok I stumbled my azz onto your blog by accident and i'm lovin it. Where da hell do I sign cause this nigga over here is so lame I don't even bother to give him any. Funny thing is I married this mofo and whats even funnier is that the nigga is 14 yrs younger than I am. Now ain't that some shit. Anywho when I dig out from under all these cobwebs America will never be the same,


Eb the Celeb April 4, 2009 at 5:04 PM

@lyfe - girl confidence is key... either embrace it or do something about it... dont let a little extra keep you from getting that good good

@buttafly - girl IDK... lol.. hadnt gotten that far in the process yet

@slish - *dead* at titties outta cement

@kiki - never too late

@sheunique - bwhahaahahah... I aint want to say anything but what is really going on... she never was the cutest but something aint right

@ms taurus- I'm speechless...lol... thx for stumbling across and plz do come back to comment because I can tell already that you're going to be a riot!

Dominique P. Smith April 8, 2009 at 12:06 AM

I always wanted to try a white guy, but I haven't yet..But go for it boo.

Well I'm celibate & have been for 18 months but it is getting very tiresome.

Stew April 10, 2009 at 3:22 PM

i wrote something about this a while back, and it still find it hard to believe that it THAT hard for a woman to get some action. now it may be hard to find someone who can do it well, but i know you find SOMETHING

i wish i could help everyone out.

but that's just wishful thinking

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