What your mind wants versus what your soul longs for

I am truly struggling with my identity right now. Not having a 9-5 for the past 15-16 months and having to hussle for checks has really clouded my focus. For a long time I knew who I was, where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to be doing. After the past year and some change, I'm not so sure anymore.

My background is in production. I've always loved it, and never ever had any desire to be on cam. When I went to college I knew for sure I would come out the female Spike Lee. Still along the way I have dabbled with some on cam stuff. I hated everything about them, cant stand to see myself on cam so I try not to ever take myself seriously in that regard. The vlogs I do are really for shits and giggles and are usually done in one take because I'm just goofy that way and not worried so much about perfecting something I'm putting out into the webosphere because that wasn't something I was seeking out as a career.

Radio is still dear to my heart and will forever be. You don't have to deal with all the politics involved in being on cam for the most part and I would love an opportunity to get back in radio. When I left it in 2004 I was ready to move on and conquer something else but now I truly miss it. Since, I've worked in production for MTV, ESPN, the list goes on and I was on the path to my original goal of Talent Producing for a show like The VIEW or Best Damn Sports show until this last year. Since then I've been doing some of everything and even dabbled in some sketch comedy.

I know, I know... this wasn't in the plan at all... I mean anyone who knows me knows that I'm goofy as hell but goofy does not translate to what the world thinks is funny. Plus I'm still not comfortable with being on cam or being able to pitch to someone that I'm good. Sometimes it takes friends seeing something in you that you don't and that's how I got involved with this public access show called SwaggHER which is sort of a young urban version of The View where we primarily discuss relationship topics and trends, sketch comedy with Skoob TV, and I also shot a pilot for a show called Music Junkies that is currently being shopped to networks.
Here's a pic on the set of one of the SwaggHer tapings:


Here are some pics on the set of Music Junkies that is kinda like TMZ and Talk Soup and Best Week Ever, all wrapped up in one. The entire panel has great personalities, are truly music junkies at heart, and are hilarious when it comes to breaking down everything that is music. I'm blessed to have met everyone involved and pray that this show gets picked up because of everything going on this is the project I'm most excited about. Here, I'm most comfortable being on cam because its just bringing my music blog to life. I talk about music all the time so this is more so me doing what I do all day everyday and it just so happens that some cameras are around to capture it all.

 


Here is the trailer for Skoob TV and I will hit you with the full versions of my skits when they become available, and below are some HOT ghetto mess pics from that shoot LOL!



 

 


















Freelancing has also given me time to take the visual aspect of my music blog (www.jonesin-eb-style.com) to the next level. I've been interviewing a lot of artists and am trying to become more comfortable in front of the camera when its not time to be goofy. Please subscribe to my youtube channel (www.youtube.com/EbtheCelebTV) and give me feedback. I'm not trying to be the next VJ, like I said, I still can't stand being on cam...but I am ready to be a quadruple threat in anything I tackle. Yes my mind is dead set on always and forever working behind the cam, but something in my heart has been tugging me other places this year and I would be a fool to ignore that. I mean I am the Renaissance woman... ain't nothing I can't do!

Oh and would I be me if I didn't leave you with some shits & giggles... Of course not... I'm a beast at karaoke too.... Check me out killing every dance move and every word to Mary J. Blige "Be Happy"

Sorry its so dark... I'll try to lighten it up later on and see if it helps any.

4 comments

Azure September 19, 2009 at 11:15 AM

O M G Ebbbb! I am so PROUD of YOU!
I've been M.I.A for a min and came back to alotah progress and its amazing!
I hope you dont forget about us lil ppl when u become quadruple-uber famous! LOL
We dont talk like we use to but I hope it will change in the future. Jus a Hi would suffice! :)
Dont think I dont read your blog as much as you read mines, because I am active on here, Jus not commenting as much but u get my drift! LOL
Big hugz and stay focused like u r!

IntrospectiveGoddess September 19, 2009 at 4:37 PM

I envy you, you are basically doing all the things I want to do. I'm sure we will see you on Tv in some capacity soon, you are just too much of a go-getter not to reach the goals you set for yourself. Oh and pleeease let me know if you ever get an exclusive with Trey Songz...gawd I love that man..dont leave me hanging Eb!

Southern Girl September 20, 2009 at 11:33 AM

I can totally relate, after being laid off last February and hustling I've had to refocus. Congratulations on your new ventures, I think you're more of a natural then you think you are. But that's the thing about a lay off, it pushes you put of your comfort zone and opens doors to things that you may never have truly considered or were to scared to do!

SLC September 24, 2009 at 9:02 PM

Congrats and Be Persistent! Just go with what feels right and you won't have any regrets...that's what I'm starting to do now and all I can say is DAMN...what took me so long!

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