Organized religion is not my thing. Preachers who hoot and holla is not my thing. I have been blessed to find a Pastor here in NYC that teaches and makes things plain. I believe in having a relationship with God. I believe there is a higher power that keeps us going everyday. I struggle with why some are favored over others, like when an innocent single mother with kids ends up living in a shelter, but I realize its not my place to question what God has planned for them. Now by no means do I feel I have been to hell. The past year has been probably the roughest of my life but I have held my spirits high and gotten through it. Still being Eb in the process and having a good time, not letting personal situations deter me from seeing the bigger picture. But every now and again something happens that can really break your spirit, to question why you even try and hell for me would be giving up and losing all the fight that I have had in me since I was a little girl.
I know my relationship with him is not where it should be. That is an everyday struggle for me. Because of other things going on I haven't even been to church the past 2 weeks and probably wont be there this Sunday either. There is a whole in my heart because of it. Even though I may slip up and belt a cuss word or two after leaving service (I try not to cuss on Sundays, but everyone falls short of the glory.) I have really been worried about things I cannot change. Just the fellowship keeps me strong and reminds me that everything is going to be alright. So being out of touch with that is really been playing a toll on my spirit right now. I am ridiculously stressed about several things going on in my life and then I wake up this morning and one of my friends' facebook status reads:
Why do we worry about pebbles? Have we forgotten the mountains God has moved in the past? "For nothing is impossible with God"- Luke 1:37
For some reason that alone has given me the strength to conquer my day. Whether that person knows it or not, I know that message was for me. I have been so highly favored this past year that I don't know why I have been stressing about this minor bump in my road right now. In the end, things will work out the way they were suppose to and with that said I am putting all my worries in His hands.
Song of the Moment: Yolanda Adams "This Joy"
9 comments
that's a great way to look at it.
*hugs*
Great post. I feel you on it.
I wholeheartedly agree w/ you Eb. I needed to read that verse today too(thanks for posting it). Btw..I love that picture, my mom had it up in our house for years. LOL
I loved this post. And that status just awoke something in me 2. Touched my little heart.
And I love that picture my grandma has that picture on her wall......
Ahh.. Memories.
Totally agree, Eb. Someone mentioned the other day that if you think you have everything figured out and do everything "perfectly" you're delusional. I've learned the importance of having a personal relationship with God, in addition to knowing the Word. I've seen many a "religious" person fall and hard at that. It's said that God hates religion and I believe it. All the theatrics some folks go through are meaningless and take away from who He is...loving, faithful, and so on.
I tend to believe that God is way more merciful and forgiving than any man could possibly be. The flesh makes us remember our faults...not Him. Keep up the good work, girl, we're all works in progress ;-).
I can totally relate. One thing that has helped me stay in church (for the most part anyway) and improve my relationship with God is getting involved in church. I'd pick a church happening/activity and see if I could help out. :)
it is sooo weird seeing that picture at the end of your blog. i had COMPLETELY forgotten about it up until seeing it just now. lmaoooo my mother had this EXACT same picture in my childhood home. WAAAAAY back before she got remarried, when it was just her and i. THINGS WERE PERFECT...well all but THAT damn picture. everytime i looked at it as a lil girl i felt "some kindda way". it just made me feel uneasy. i think i was scared of it. lmaoooo..it makes me remember my childhood. i know this comment has NOTHING to do with your post...but
Thank you so much for posting that. I really need that one.
This sounds so educating. Thanks for sharing this.
Stop by and read Interview Thursday abt 2 committed lovers and blogger on my blog-"What struck me first about Chari was his charm" - Buttercup. "Sincerely, I really can't imagine being with anyone else" - Chari
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