Update on Semipro...
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RBW Relationship Talk
So here is the deal. I like him, he likes me, but he is playing around. I think he wants me to only want him, and he knows that isn't the case, so he wants to overexaggerate the fact that he's playing the field.
A week ago...
I basically told him he wasn't stepping foot in my house again until I got a date, and that has nothing to do with whoever else I am talking to and whoever else he is talking to. He feels like if we aren't dating exclusively why is a date necessary. I feel like dates are necessary to decide if you want to date someone exclusively. His problem is he can't stand anyone telling him what to do. As do I. So he feels like if he takes me on a date that means he lost. Everything is a competition with him. That's all he talks about... beating someone in this, or being stronger than this person. Remember he's an athlete. He always has to have the upper hand. He almost had a heart attack when I beat him in Nintendo Wii bowling.
So in the past couple weeks with my ignoring and being busy streak... he has down played the situation and called me "buddy" a couple times to be funny... since I said I wasn't messing with him anymore. So now he texts me just to annoy me, like when he's in the neighborhood, assuming I will invite him over but I don't.
We finally had a conversation on Tuesday. I had recently spoken to a mutual friend of ours who said he was coming to visit on Labor day weekend with his GF and to relay the message to Semipro so we could all get up. He has no idea that me and him were talking. So Semipro goes, well I guess I'll have to do a double date then so I'm not the 3rd wheel when I go out with them. Just to be an asshole. If he wanted to get back in good he would have said I guess "We'll" have to do a double date then. So I ignored the fact that he was trying to be funny and changed the subject. He is the ultimate game player and I don't have time. I don't even understand why he is still trying to keep the avenues of communication open by calling and texting me when I told him I was done, but like I said... he likes playing games.
I am trying not to sweat it but he keeps testing me and I only have so much patience. His problem is he thinks him doing it on his time is giving him the power when reality its kinda pissing me off and making me uninterested. He assumes that when he is ready to go on that date I am just going to jump and he is going have a rude awakening.
Tonight...
We had a text message pow wow. He was doing security at some apple bottoms fashion show. Thought it was appropriate to rub it in my face about all the ass and titties in his presence. We went back and forth a couple times. He tried to play me like I was the one missing out... here is his exact text when I told him that I don't deal with lames so to call me when he was ready to be a real man:
Semipro - hard worker, college grad, gorgeous daughter, devoted father, handsome, athletic, charming, charamatic (yeah he spelled the shit wrong), sexy, leader.... definition of a real man 2 me.
Eb the Celeb - learn how to spell, & if u cant take a chick with a master's degree out on a date then your not that charismatic, who said you were handsome?
Semipro - not arogant (yes spelled wrong again) just real... I am charismatic, date... 4 what?, handsome - ask around.
So you know my ego is feeling the heat right now all kinds of ways. I cuss him out yet again... He replies that I must be drunk. I alert him that I am more sober than I have ever been in my life, and let him know that he must be drunk for coming at me like I'm some hood rat chick. So I end the convo with the following...
Eb the Celeb - U know what, since u said u not drunk...what you've said...proves the type of nig u r... u won't eva hear from me again, and please lose my number...
he text me back a couple times after but it doesn't matter to me. I am going to bed right now and not stunting his whack ass.
I know he is going to call me tomorrow on some bull... so the saga will prolly continue... but this situation is really starting to be a headache. I hate that I am attracted to dudes that think they are flyyyyyyyeer than me because this is the type of bull you have to deal with. Dudes that are feeling themselves, and dudes in NYC that actually have a college degree and a good job are scarce so the ones that have it act a damn fool because they know they are a hot commodity.
Maybe it is time for Eb the Celeb to consider converting to some other races... because chivalry is truly dead in NYC when it comes to black men and I am NOT one to settle.
To be continued...
69 comments
wow...i'm first. lol
i think it's time to throw this fish back in the ocean. who wants to be with somebody who will frustrate the hell outta you? that makes no sense. you might not wanna do it but this isn't going anywhere, lil sis. and it doesn't sound like you're happy.
Girl I have been in this situation....I kept asking myself why am I dealing with this? I am not that desperate to keep putting up with this foolishness.
Me and the ex went back and forth for two damn years.
It finally took me cursing him out(which is so not in my character) for him to get the hint to leave me alone.
My advice let it go, if he doesn't understand that you're someone special to be with I am sure you will find someone who does.
what a loser!
girllllllllll. date a white boy and report back!! lol
wow ....he thinks he's the ish and can't even spell
for some reason he thinks women like the whole ass hole thing is cute like your playing high school games and i have never heard anyone actually admit they like playing games
you handled it well...go ed the celeb!!
Definitely do away with this dude. He sounds ridic. to me.
I'm scared about all this "converting" to other races talk... Not that there's anything wrong with interracial dating or only dating within your own race; I'm just sayin'
I know that there has to be at least 3 good, respectable, worthwhile guys out there (regardless of their races). Even if all of us girls have to fight over them...it's whatever! lol
Maybe you just need some [you time]. Take a break from the dating/looking scene?
IMO, a college degree doesn't make anyone any better of a person. Some people may not get that. A job, however, unless you're receiving goo-gobs of free money in the mail (*straight face*), is necessity numero uno.
You think men in other races offer less bullshit?! Don't fool yourself.
Eb: Semipro, I want to know what it feels for someone to WANT to treat me special. To WANT to treat me the way I need to be treated because HE wants to mean that much to me. Can you understand this?
Semipro: Where do you want to go on our first real date?
**Have you tried this approach, Eb?**
Man, I can't believe love is about to walk by the both of ya'll over some bullshit. So frustrating.
Sounds like this guy is into playing games. It's cute/fun at first but it gets old REALLY quickly!!!
Ninth! Okay, Eb. I am not going to hate on you if you decide to go over to the "light" side, but I hope you don't.
Will you do me one favor? Seriously. Will you stop playing games with yo boy. It is just feeding into his ego and it sounds like his ego never gets full.
No offense, but you seem like you have such a free and fun spirit, but when you post about this guy, there is nothing fun hearted involved. You deserve better.
I have a saying and I stick by it...Don't let anyone steal your joy. This guy sounds like he is slowly taking your joy from you.
Plus, this kind of nonscense, does not a good relationship make.
DON'T CORRECT MY SPELLING!
Eb you are always speaking into my situation...you're soooo right! Brothers have to come correct or not at all. I'm waiting on this book that speaks to the subject called "The List" by The Corbett Sisters...you can get it on Amazon for like 3 bucks and the reviews say that it's great!
Hang in there sis! I'm wit you :-)
@everybody... I was up for a while last night... couldnt sleep because I was so damn frustrated... and all of you that commented before 3am I received them and they really comforted me so thank you!
I really do NOT want to convert to the other race, I really dont feel that anything besides a black man is right for me, but at this point in the game I'm considering not having my preferences so tight because the type of dudes I like don't act right
@Torie - I know a college degree doesn't make you a better person but he has been channeled to believe, growing up in the projects in BK, that since he made it out, he doesn't have to do much else> Last night I basically told him to go get a project chick then because I aint putting up with his bull
realhustla - nope havent tried that at all and white frankly I dont even have the energy to deal with it anymore. Hopefully since I told him to lose my number I wont have to. Hopefully his ego will keep him from calling me... because I really feel like I am over the situation.. part of me cant even reminder what I saw in him because what I have been seeing he last 2 weeks has been so ugly and such a big turn-off
@one man- Thx for your kind words... I know I deserve better
@B-more - definitely going to look into that book, its crazy we have to deal with kind of mess, so I guess its not just NYC men that have killed chivalry since you are having the same probs
what do you like about him? i really don't see anything likeable here.
if you have to negotiate and convince a dude to do something as simple as take you on a date, imagine how difficult it would be to negotiate the more important stuff if things were to progress?
send his azz to voicemail & ignore the texts (i use the delete-before-i-read-them method to curb the temptation to reply) and keep it moving.
I think you already know too let dude go. He just wants the ego boost.
Don't give up on the brothers... there are some good ones out there.
I mean what do you want, the degree or the man?
Sometimes we get so caught up in the semantics of the superficial, that we miss our true blessings.
To give up on brothers for the actions of one superficial jock is whack!
We really are losing the battle to these crackers!
Damn Eb... You got way to much soul to be talking that ish! :0(
I almost for got to leave my footprint behind that last statement! Intimate Outings of Love
Girl, its not just NYC. Black men with "credentials" everywhere act like that. Maybe it IS time to consider other races. Nothing is less appealing than a man who feels himself too hard.
I've done this with a man or two. Usually like you, I end up saying f*ck it and telling them to go away. They keep coming back, using excuses like "I knew you were mad, so I thought I would let you cool off." It used to work, but not anymore.
Maybe you do need to think about expanding your horizons on the men front.
Eb, let me tell you, (take it from a person whose gone outside their race) its not the same. There is something really admirable about a Black Man, well a Black Man that is about his business. Don't get me wrong a white guy is very attentive and affectionate but they can't relate to the everyday struggles and bitchassness (yes I've fallen into the usage of the word too) that we Black Women have to go through. Though Good, AVAILABLE Black Men are scarce in NYC, I believe that there is one out here for you (and myself and other goal orientated RBW)In reference to your situation with SEMIPRO.. cut that dude off! Its a waste of time and energy. There is no reason why a man who claims to be all the things that he says he is has to play games. Leave that stuff for the children. I know he's probably approaching 30 or 30 and that stuff is out the window once you leave your teens or even early 20's! Seriously, he's not worth or your time! He's LAME, and he's proven the fact that he's LAME by not taking a stand and being the LEADER that he claims to be. He's fooling himself. Get out now, hon. And since you're already losing your interest might as well call it a LOSS! SEMIPRO = SIMPLY NO!
Honey I think it's time to stick to your own advice and cast his azz away and not respond to any texts from him at all. Like you said, dude is playing games and you're not for that. You're either in or out, can't have a foot in each pot and you certainly shouldn't shit where you sleep. Nope, that last message was the end. Save yourself the heart and headache.
yeah, girl, it does seem like he is feeling himself.
the only way to truly be done with him is to not take his calls or respond to any other form of communication that he throws your way, and stick to it. He sounds like his ego won't let him harass you for too long.
and I feel you on the black men with credentials acting a mess... but GURL, nothing short of a proposal from John Cusack could make me date a white dude. I'm just sayin... lol
i say we start a "no bullshit movement" cuz too many women are letting too many men get away with this nonsense. i'm sick of it and am at a lost for what to do.
You need to act like Keyshia Cole and Let it Go. He ain't worth it.
@ K- I've lost sight through all this mess... seriously when he aint acting up he is a good dude, makes me laugh, we like the same things, fact of the matter is though... he's too much like me... and I can barely deal with myself so I knew it was going to lead to disaster eventually
@tony oh - the degree thing doesnt matter to me at all... just as long as he has goals and aspirations and is making moves towards making those things happen... its just where he comes from not that many dudes have those credentials... so he uses it as a crutch to act a damn fool
and its not one jock... I've had several in my career... for some reason I attract them... I'm at the fed up point... but I will never give up on black men in my heart... I'm just angry and frustrated right now so converting is seeming like the only option... but I havent given up on the brothas... never that
@liryc - he just turned 26... its funny because me and a friend were having a convo the other day about how men act a damn fool when they turn 26... that her and her BF broke up a month after he turned 26... because he all of a sudden starting acting a damn fool...like he was too good... IDK, maybe its their version of mid-life crisis... knowing that its about time to top playing the games and actually find a nice lady and be in a committed relationship and to fight that urge they overexaggerate the fact that there a man and can move to their own beat.
@jaded - yeah I've only had 2 whiteboy crushes my whole life... Freddie Prinze Jr. and Channing Tatum... I love me some Channing Tatum... so if I do convert they definitely have to be on that level... I cant just pick one off the train...lol
I think you should just stick to not talking to semi pro since he thinks hes such a hot commodity. He'll come around when he notices you arent playing games with him anymore. :sigh: I thought guys got more mature the older they got..smh.
I'm so disappointed in Semipro. I had so much hope for you two. If he's not giving you what you want, let him go. Save yourself the heartache and pain.
Men make me sick sometimes. They better be glad I'm strickly d*ckly. LOL Semipro is playing these games b/c he's probably used to females giving in to him and playing along with him. At one point, you got to grow up.
I hope I never get to the point where I consider dating outside my race (nothing wrong with it). But it's not for me. I love black men too much.
Can't wait to see what happens after that exchange. This reminds me of something I went through. Too much back and forth tension :(
man...... ya'll are something -
why does it have to be so hard - geez....
Chile, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then uhhh....I'm with 1/3. I damn sho thought the maturity level went up with the age. Hmmm....neeeeext.
Girl...you know what I think.
Tell that dude he either get with the program or you do what you know how to do. be single and have you some sex in the city without him.
If you like him alot then the former may be a little hard but you strong girl. You know what to do.
What I tell you about that BOY!!!...Gotta listen to uncle Slishy...Remember that Superbowl party I invited you to.Well another blogger came and I introduced her to one of my boys...Guess whaaaat That's her man now moved into his place and err thing...lol
You r 2 special 4 someone like that!! Keep ur power, sis!!
www.arippleffect.blogspot.com
EB...Remember your list of all those other guys that you were going to date this summer. You know the one that you posted. You had about 3-4 fellas. Remember, Semi-Pro was just one person on that list. Just One! Now you can scratch him off and keep it movin. Now, you can see what the rest of the fellas have to offer for the rest of the summer.
DON"T give up on your dating options because you have plenty. YOU ALWAYS HAVE! You were just giving Semi-Pro first debs. Therefore, since he done acted a FOOL his jersey is RETIRED!
Like in the movie "TWO Can Play That Game"... occupy your damn time!...lol Dust off that little black book and date as many people as you can for the rest of the summer. That way you can go to all the fancy restaurants and outings you want without the added pressure. Watch the movie again gurl...lol
Tomorrow is a New Moon Aug 1st and there is another one Aug 30th, the New Moon signifies a NEW BEGINNING take yours and RUN WITH IT!
Well Eb. This is my first experience reading about dude.
Speaking as another chocolatized swinging johnson, kick his ass to the curb! And leave his ass there!
Maybe if he grows up then you MIGHT consider it.
He definitely ego trippin'. If it was me, and I wanted you all to myself, you would definitely not have any reason to keep the next man's number in ya phone.
I just reread his "real man" list and wonder, how did attentive and caring not make the cut? SMDH...
Lemme stop trying to blog up in ya comments!
Chile he is a mess! good luck with your journey!!!
oh yeah, go to church and hug up on that saxophone player just one minute too much...lol
Leave it alone.
What coincidence I was about to give up on black women lol
tricks and games are for kids
handle yours folk
and Im with Tony-oh on this
Oh wow Eb my girl and I just had a conversation about this mess the other night. She's getting married in a few weeks, and of course I'm still in the game. So the topic of men who were on their own dicks came up. Let's just say I know your pain. It's hard to walk away because the qualifications are good, but the person is stank so it's just like hmmm he has to go. Hate to Love and Love to Hate indeed
I'd be curious to know, is the fact that he is successful and educated the main reasons that you like him? I am just curious.
Girl, I speak from experience when I say BS comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. I am a firm believer in love having no color so explore your options if you belive the same. But girl, there are white boys that reek of BS just as much, if not more than some of the brothas you've had to deal with.
Leave this dude alone. He is obviously playing a game that you are too grown and mature to play.
Man it seems lots of dudes are feeling themselves lately. I had someone tell me that he was the bomb and I need to get with it..first I was like who even calls themselves the bomb lol second if you're the bomb then please blow up and leave me alone hahahahah..corny but hey he left me alone haha
He reminds me of Vivaca Fox's character from two can play that game....thinks the only way they can keep someone is by playing games...and until she came back begging she was going to be alone without fine ass Morris Chestnut...Girl I would have been told his sorry ass peace with all that, you are too old and fabulous for the fuckery.....and how he gonna list having a kid as a plus..please just cuz she cute dont mean I would want to deal with her...and 26? You just take me as being more on level with an older man..I'm with everyone else to cut him loose and since he loves his degree so much maybe he should take IT out on a date.....
Now you know what I'm about to say.... Tell Semi-pro to beat it.
You are worth more than a dude who wants to play the upper hand game will ever offer...Semi-pro please meet Eb's foot.
@southern gal - ha... funny... I jokingly told my homeboy after my ex I was turning gay because I was tired of the bull... but like you said... I'm strickly dickly...lol
@slish - well hook me up then....lol
@freedom - thx so muc for your kind words... you always speak the truth... and yes i will go into tomorrow with a fresh start... a new day
2nd 68 - I dont know why he mentioned beautiful daughter like that makes him a real man because he can reproduce a child that isnt ugly... I have no idea... but yeah... the caring part I guess isnt in his definition
@Miss Mika - Not at all. I aint that chick... I've dated plenty without degrees. This is my first time dating an athlete and I hate it because I knew better. I have too many friends who are so I know how they act, but we have a couple mutuals friends who said he was a good dude... and another one of my friends who told me I have to stop putting all athletes in a box, that they arent all alike... so I gave Semipro a chance. But he proved me so right and will probably be the last one I mess with.
@intro- i dont know why he felt having a kid out of wedlock was a plus either but whateva...
Don't give up a chivalry. Although it might be on the endangered species lists, its still practiced in New York City. Glad to hear that you won't settle for less though. You shouldn't.
Sounds like games to me. However you are a much better woman than me. I would have disappeared on him LONG ago his text and phone calls would have fell on DEAF ears. He would have thought I was in witness protection. I do that. Disappear on fools get ghost.
Plus you were way to nice. Way to nice. And not nice enough. One you should have just killed him with kindness and if you didn't do that when he said he sounds like a real man you should have been like real men don't text women to rub other women in their face like 5th graders.
I was really confused about the date thing but now in hindsight I think you wanted a date because maybe subconsciously you felt something about him might not be quite right.
I had a friend like SP once and I figured it out afterwards (our whole thing played out) I was like a backup chick to him. We were friends so that made me cool but I wasn't his first choice romantically. Wait and he was an east coast NY/NJ guy who lived in MD. And I swear you aren't the first woman from NYC to say that men there think they are some catch because they got a degree and shyt. hmmmm
Anyway do don't do the drama I would change his number to DNA ( DO NOT ANSWER) and move on with my life.
But its your life so do what you do! Oh yeah you are right going out on dates is part of making the decision to be exclusive I mean really that IS what dating is.
-OG
Did he really say "date... 4 what?"?
Nuh uh homie.
He is feelin himself waaaay too much
I'm going to say men are like this everywhere... I got myself out of the situation and so far i ain't killing myself over a dude...
Girl.. Man I keep forgetting im not the only one dealing with these game players...
...and i thought they matured as they got older.
just my 1.5 cents...cut communication with him or a while and if he comes correct later, give him another chance...give love a chance lol
i hate to judge but dude sounds like a total jerk.i hate competitive people,they can never relax
I'm all late but there is nothing that I can say that someone else haven't said already.
I'm cold as ice sometimes so I say kick dude to the curb and keep it movin. If he comes around.. it's still fugg em, a dollar short and a day late.
Eb, i beg to differ on this,
look at it like this, why dose this guy keepin comin back to u? why cant he just lose ur nos?
and u on ur part, why cant u just stop being pissed off at him and all his games?
it could be one of the two, love or lots of mess ....
if its lov then he must be fightin it real hard for him to be playin this hard to get, on the other hand u find he is just messin , pls drop him lik a hot mess...lol
ok eb, dont be hasty in ur decision so that u have to keepin makin decisions on this matter,
whatever u do gal, pls be happy, its the ultimate
hugs sista
lots of typo up there, pardon me, forgot to read b4 postin, tot i was to post and then read.....hehehehe, not funny i knw
PSHHHHHH to the converting mess.. iont wanna hear that ish!!! thats just the cycle of games that are played.. dude just tryna fake like he dont like ya as much as he may.. and just wants to be chased.. oldest game in the book.. WOMP.
definitely in a similar situation right now. The games and competitiveness and arrogance...it's all present and ALL a head ache at times. I also feel short changed, because I've NEVER been on a date before, and I doubt dude is trying to take me on one before I take him...:-( But sadly I can't leave him alone. I guess I will tho if I finally get FED UP...not quite there yet tho.
Wow he is like my ex-BF times ten. A straight up ass. Point blank. Period.
Eb hun the saga doesn't have to continue...he's only giving you the run around because he can.
As far as switching races...girl that should have already been an option...good things come in all kinds of packages... you might be missing out walking pass John at Starbucks...
I put his azz on don't answer along with rest of the losers...you'll be okay!
I say date whomever the fuck you wan, think outside the box(You might fid contentment), Butremember, all dudes come with two universal things, no matter the race(I tell you cause I'm the Chief Equal Opportunity Dater in the State of Florida):
Dick
and
Bullshit
Trust me on THAT
As for Semipro if this relationship is NOT serving you or satisfying you in any manner.....why keep it going?
this guy seems like he has a pretty good sense of humor. or maybe i am taking that sense of humor for arrogance. either way i still laughed at his texts.
also....i think one thing that some women do not understand is that the race of the man does not matter. they ALL play games. so do not "switch races" and think that things are going to be different.
My computer has been acting up and I haven't been able to read not nann blog!
Look, there are a million messages before mine and I have no intention on reading them so forgive me if I repeat what someone else says. There ARE good Black men in NYC (I think I have one)so don't let an assumed lack of them be your reasons for adding Flavor to the roster. It's still new to me so I can't really speak on the positive and negatives but I'll keep you updated;-)
As for Semipro...forgive me if my candor is offensive, but it seems to me like he's not that interested. And if he is into you, he's not all that into being the grown man you want. Too damn old for games.
@OG - I know I was too nice... its crazy because everyone says I am so mean when it comes to men... so I made a new years resolution to be nicer, not to cut guys off so quick, and I guess I chose the wrong time to switch up my swag because it most definitely hasnt been worth it
@keiya - yes girl... he said for what... my blood was boiling I was so heated... he is definitely feeling himself
@naomi - I dont even know if my ego will allow me to give him another chance if he comes correct at this point
@Fluff and Stew - it wasn't about me going outside my race to not deal with bull and games, it was about me expanding my horizons and not being so particular with the type of man I date... Not at all did I think going interracial would alleviate problems.
@Ms. Emotions - That's what I thought after this headache started a couple weeks ago... I was like why would he continue to call and text if it was really like that... if he really wasnt interested... but at this point I am just exhausted by the bull and dont even have the energy to try and figure out why he does things he does
@ swag - thx... u put it so plain...lol
@shy - i feel you... its like that Ciara Leave em alone song... you know he aint right but something there keeps you trying to figure out a way to make it work... ugh... I'd rather keep that song on repeat at this point then continue to deal... I think I'm still a little heated by the whole convo... hopefully I will cool down and we can at least be friends... I have never had a break up with a BF that I wasn't friends with after and continued to be on speaking terms after so its kinda weird that someone who wasn't even close to being my BF that it has to be like that.
@Dollface - he has that... BK too good to do any damn thing attitude... I'm thinking of just straight not dating dudes from BK anymore...MY ex was from BK and they truly think their ish dont stink...
I'm not really pressed about the issue anymore... I know for a fact he will be at an event I have to go to this week... so it will take seeing him and ignoring his ass in person to see what the deal is...
But I'm not sweating it at all... I'm doing me... and that's what I do best anyway...lol
The fact that he needed to send you a text message of all of his qreat qualities must mean that he isn't quite as confident about them as he claims to be.
So unattractive...
Whoa. You need to leave that alone. God has somebody WAAYYYY better than that for you.
He needs to grow up a bit.
LORD have i been there. lol!
See, that's the type of shit that makes me hate dating. He needs to get over himself.
And I've been telling everyone that white boys is where it's at. Come on over to the dark (light?) side...
hot commodity dudes annoy me, so i can understand your frustration. why can't they just act right?
O my goodness...haven't we all been through this ish..
i have a guy like that in my life and around him I'm not my best me.. i get more defensive, bossy and angry talking to him than anyone else I talk to...its like a dumb ass cycle...you cant and wont show him your best cause the prick isnt showing you his best therefore its just two ppl f'ing with eachother
youll get tired of it and maybe he will realize..your such a strong woman and it kills me because all though men say they want a strong woman once they find her they feel they need to compete with her and "win" to prove something...
I've only read one post about this dude and I already don't care for his swag.
Three words: Dump His Cocky Butt. LOL
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