OK let me explain.
1st recollection - Me and about 5 chicks went to this comedy show on friday. It was whack so we were going to dip out before it was over. The owner ended up buying us all a drink so we would stay a little while longer... OK cool... we drank our drink... even stayed about 30 more minutes after that and then I was ready to go... Well 4 of us were ready to go. Chick #5 wanted to stay. She does this every time we go out and she starts drinking she wants to be the last damn MOFO to leave. She got me with that mess the first couple times we went out when I first met her 2 years ago but now I will just leave her arse. We all ready to go and she was like I'm staying. So I was like do what it do then because I'm out. Do I look like a damn babysitter? My boy said I was wrong for leaving her and she was tipsy? You ain't that damn drunk not to leave when the people you came with are leaving. You are grown... you don't wanna leave when everyone you came with wants to... then that's on you.
Then today. I just walked in the house from this HBCU alumni cookout in BK... Now the damn cookout has been going on all day. Started at 2 and didn't end until dark so around 9pm. We got out there around 6:30. Why the 2 girls I came with when we were walking out said, "I aint even get no numbers?" Who the hell says that mess? They wanted to stand at the entrance of the park so they could see all the dudes that were leaving after them to see if they could get someone to holla. I called they arses straight out and was like why the hell are ya'll acting like some thirsty bitches. They mad and mumbling ish under they breath. But who says some ish like that? Are you serious! If you were out here for almost 3 hours and ain't get a number, why the hell you wanna try and get one when its dark and you cant even tell if the nig is cute or not and more important why the heck are you so pressed. OMG... I left they arses looking stupid standing at the entrance and got on the train and went home by myself.
Then I put 2 and 2 together... both of these chicks are 3-4 years younger than me. Maybe when I was 23/24 I may have been in the mindset to want to close the club down. But now, the woman I am now... likes to go.. have fun, and take my arse home.
I like to assess situations so I am asking my readership... Was I wrong in either one of these situations. I mean I really don't have time for this type of mess... I ain't pressed to meet a nigga... (actually was kinda mad that this cutie was flirting with me all day and even jumping in all our pics but aint ask me for my number...Hate dudes like that... but I aint pressed). I look at at it like this... if your too scared to ask me for my number after I gave you a way in, then you aint the type of dude I wanna mess with anyway. But back to the point, in either situation was I wrong? I just feel like I'm getting old because that ish is not fun to me... but it may have just been me being a biatch because I can be sometimes...
So was I wrong?
And pics from the Digiwaxx Cookout... and the HBCU cookout will be coming soon.
Gotta get all the pics together.
50 comments
Yay! Im the first commentor!
To answer your question: NO! You were not wrong in either situation....ole girl who wants to stay when she is clearly outvoted and everyone wants to go should be left and you said she always pulls it so just bounce and the second incident yeah that was way thirsty and so unattractive to be standing at an entrance trying to "get" someone to holla tha fuck?!?! That is not cute...now I have been to places expecting to get a number or two but if I dont then I just charge it to the game and keep it moving...you aint gonna see me posted up looking all desperate and the party over anyway! I think your obvious annoyance with both situations just shows your maturity...not so much that you are getting older but you are getting wiser and carrying yourself as the Renaissance Black WOman and Grown Ass woman that you are!
Hey Eb...I don't think you were wrong in either situation. Sometimes we out grow some of the people we hang out with.
Keep having fun... sometimes we have to ride out solo!
tomorrow is NOT promised!
peace
Sistah introspective really said it all - but just to reiterate;-) --
Li'l Sis *putting my much more mature arm around u as I say this* U are enlightened and your "crew" is not... as my elders told me: always have cab-fare enough to get u home when U READY to go...cuz love my "girlz" as I may - I was brought into the world alone & i tend to like to travel it that way.
What I DO love about Being a GROWN azz RENAISSANCE Sistah is that I AM COMFY taking GOOD CARE of ME & most of the GROWN Women I hang with are taking BETTAH care of themselves, too. Desperate is NEVAH a good look. ( & u know i refuse to use the term old cuz that equals finished & nearing date of expiration - I'm in the age of enlightenment & that's the story I'm stickin' to! LOL!)
I don't think you were wrong in either situation.
Girl #1 needs to get it together. I would've left her ass too...unless she was too drunk.
Girls #2 and #3 need to work on their self-esteem. If dudes were interested they would've been on them like vultures. Or maybe y'all just got there too late and they already fulfilled their number getting quota for the night.
I think you may have handle both situations well. I mean if she wanted to stay, that's on her. The other chicks were a little too hot and it has nothing to do with age. I mean some folks like it rock it until the lights come back on (me) and others like to do their thing and keep it moving when they are ready to go.
If you had stayed with them I would have wondered what your problem was. Life is too short to be entertaining that crap.
AMEN!!! I HATE when I'm rolling with chicks and they don't know when they bedtime is up or like you said they start acting like Thirsty bitches!!
But what do you do if like me, you have one in yoru crew that should know better, is too old to be told and at 31 wants to be making out with the whole club, taking herself out of her group to smoke weed with random stranger, and generally pulling young dumb chick stuff any old time you give her liquor or alcohol free beer?
Freedom broke it down for me!
and Eb, i guess with the way you're looking at it introspectively, it does say a lot about you knowing about the things that you don't want in life, giving you a very good case of maturity...
Dope post too!
Hope the pics are as kewl as they usually be!
Nope you weren't wrong AT ALL. They are just trifling.
they doin' a little dos mucho!
ummm...Hell to the no! I would of done the same damn thing...you weren't in the worng at all!
Your reasoning behind both is on point. First, if you want to stay behind and look like the lonely girl at the bar with no friends, that's all on you boo boo. have fun ttyl! Second of all, you REALLY want to be that girl? That girl that LOOKS like they waiting on someone to holla? Come on now...
I prob. would of agreed with you that it does have to do with age, but i think it's just your level of maturity cause i know for damn sure i wouldnt be actin like that at any age. I'm 22 and trust when i say, "i'm leavin when 99% of my ppls is leavin!' and 'I'm leavin when 99% of my ppls is leavin!' LOL.
hey, let them be boo boo the fool.
and out of curiosity: did these chicks leave with any numbers? ^_^
Girlie you were by no means in the wrong! Like you said they are grown ass women so in the first situation they are responsible for themselves because at this point in life you shouldn't have to be a babysitter to the point where you have to convince people to leave with the rest of the crew...in the second situation I didnt even know chicks still did that in their 20s because I been there and done that in early high school. Plus like you said, looking all desperate at a park exit at night is not the business lol so somebody needs to let them know, right?!
i don't think you're wrong for bouncing. it does look like you've outgrown those situations and perhaps the folk that go with them.
might be time to find a new circle of friends, cuz those folk are still doing what they do and should have the freedom to do so, and you should have the freedom to change and not feel bad about it.
If your old, then so am I and Im like two years behind you. But I don't do the whole, "we gotta stay in the club till that bitch close". Thats that bs, and I will leave, which is why I don't even pick them up if they are gonna have a problem. As far as the cookout thing...they were thristy, they need to watch that, thats how you come up on something you don't want.
Lovely, mature yes, old no, when you have a purpose in life, that you are aware of that other "ish" seems so unimportant, it's called having a "life", I am at that same point, going out, isn't all that, I would like to settle down and hang out with my guy and family, I guess that makes me LAME!!
@intro - thank you girlie
@freedom - I'm learning that solo is the best way to go
@Cap - I like that... "age of enlightenmennt" gonna have to start using it when dealing with these chicks!
@kayellejaye - I dont even understand... both chicks are cute... and the one that said it has a rolodex of dudes... everytime I see her its a new nig... and dudes were trying to holla at both of them all day so it wasnt that we got there too late... it was that she knew damn near half the dudes there already... There was even a pack of dudes behind us when we were walking out trying to holla... they were really just pressed which is what pissed me off and cuss they arses out
@Q - Girl I dont even know.. that's why I like going to ATL because all my friends there are older...we go have a good time and leave... The problem though down there is that only old kats be trying to holla at me... at least in NYC there is a plethora of guys my age... but yes of all my going out crewmembers here in the city... I am the oldest
@brown sugar - Girl I have no idea... I didnt stick around to watch. one of them text me like a hour later to make sure I got home today so they were prolly still out hanging
@Nikki - your right
@Lina - that's why I am so glad I live in NYC... because I can jus hop on the train when I am ready to go. I would never go anywhere with one of them chicks if they drove because I know we would be closing the place down and I would have to cuss somebody out and be in the wrong since they were the ones who drove
@CC - I am a social person so I still love to hang out. And it wasn't a club... I dont club that much... it was a cookout so I was understanding why the heck they wanted to still be out there after it was dark. I'm not ready to settle down but I am beyond being the last person left and any function. I just dont understand the purpose.
LOL You sound like me. I have no patience for that mess either. That's why I drive. If you ain't ready to go, find another ride. And who is still out trolling for numbers? If someone wants to give you their number then hey, good for you. But if they don't why be all sour about it? I'm so glad I'm not on the dating scene. LOL
Na, I don't think u were wrong. BUT, I think as you grow older, your tolerance deminishes. It's called maturity and there's just some shit u don't deal with - lol. Good for you.
No, you weren't wrong...I mean, if that one chick wanted to stay at the comedy club, that's on her...as for the chicks waiting for numbers...that is so lame. Honestly, as a man, I can spot a lonely chick a mile away...so they were probably looking lonely the whole time they were there, and now because they are waiting by the exit, they've gone from lonely to a loser that is waiting for someone to offer them some beef...that's not a good look...you were good for leaving; you would've looked like you were desperate too.
LOL - yes.. you are getting older....cause I will leave somewhere in a minute ... go home and wrap my hair like nothing happened--- LOL
Let's see...situation one...I think it's about majority rule...if only one person wanted to stay...then leave her azz, lol.
And waiting outside the gate after the event...now I have done some ish like this just to be nosey...but not to get a number...that seems desperate, and I can't be hanging with no desperate chicks, lol.
I don't think you were wrong for bouncing...I think that as you mature your tastes and your tolerenace level just changes that's all.. It's the natural progression of things..so don't fret.
(Between you n me...I so want your life again..I haven't hung out
like that, since I got married..lolol.)
I shouted you (and a number of people ) out on my site today!
I don't think you were wrong. Some people just grow out of kid stuff faster than some of their friends. I have a friend who recently moved back home and I can't talk to her for morwe than 5 minutes before I am so annoyed by her mentality. I feel bad because we used to be really close but I jsut can hang out with her like I used to. Sad part is is that she has a 2 year old and still hasn't grown up any.
LOL, Ticia took the words right out of my mouth...I'd much rather "go home and wrap my hair like nothing happened". I definitely don't have the patience these days to close the club down. That was back in undergrad.
As for the second situation, it always boggles my mind when chicks are SO thirsty. I can't believe they actually waited by the gate, that's a bit much. SMH
I agree with everyone. You were not wrong. I've been in situation #1. I mobbed out on chick. My time is precious.
Back in the day...I was quick to leave someone...that's why I alwasy drove my own car...and met ppl at the spot.
Umm, not to be an ass...but seriously...your friends are thirsty like that?!
AND...is it necessary to get a number at every spot they go to?
I'm to judgemental *huge sigh*
Eb, you weren't wrong in either situation. When you're with a group you go with what the majority wants to do or you chose to go solo, as she did.
I snickered when I read your second situation. I haven't heard someone make the statement about somebody not hollering at them, in years. As you get older, both your priorities and mindset change. If they don't you will remain stuck on stupid. I would have left their asses too.
Nothing wrong in either situation. I would have left as well. As for being older than the others you were with, that probably had a lot to do with it as well.
And Eb, since we are all grown, if dude was all up in your pics like that and you was diggin' him like that, you should've asked HIM for his number.
And if he would have been thrown off by you being assertive, he wasn't the one and wouldn't have been able to handle your anyway.
Grown folks doing grown thangs!
@ieisha - you know what... I said that to myself when I was leaving too because one of the girls I was with is the canada and ol' boy is from Canada too and she was like... Canada dudes are like that... they expect chicks to holla at them...
But like I said I wasn't pressed...he was just cute... now if he was hella fine than I would have been all over it.
you are just getting old...
...but that's a good thing. 3 years is a big difference when it comes to things like that. You've grown and they are still into the same old shyt that you've just grown out of.
naw your not wrong. when the club/party shuts down is when the most ignorant shyt happens. get in, have fun and get out. leave all that other stuff too the kids.
nope. like you said, grown people need to be responsible for themselves, whether it's getting numbers or not getting so drunk that you don't have sense enuf to leave when your ride does.
Not wrong at all!!!
That whole getting numbers thing is sooo high school...I mean really!!!
I feel you though about getting too old and it all not being fun anymore...I'm the same way.
Nope, you were not wrong. Obviously, their thirsty and not woman enough to say when. The only time people get mad when you call them out on their ish is what you tell the truth.
@ Eb the Celeb
You're not wrong. You're just getting more mature. That comes with age. And that's not a bad thing.
Be leery of the folks who wanna "close the club down" or be the "last one to leave". It's ok to go to a spot...have a good time...then go home. Why hang around if the party is dying down?
I don't think you were wrong for that. I'd a probably did the same thing honestly. and especially with regards to the 2 chicks who wanted to wait around and get some numbers. I have better things to do with my time. I would have died if after all that, they didn't even get any numbers..
i would not say that you are "wrong", but i think that you could have realized the age difference, and the difference in the thought process sooner so that it would not have irritated you badly. of course you were not "wrong" from your perspective, but from someone else's it could be view as a little insensitive.
hope i don't catch too much heat for this
I don't think you were wrong in either situation.I probably would have left too well depending on how drunk ole girl was I would have drug her out of there with me. If it was me I would have felt they was wrong for not leaving with me.
I don't think you were wrong, depending on how drunk the girl in situation 1 was. On the other hand, she's grown & like you said, you're not her babysitter. You're friends in situation 2 were definitely thirsty and I would have bounced like you did!
@ Stew - NO, you wont catch heat from me... I want your true opinion... I dont write posts so that everyone can agree with me so I'm glad you didn't.
I know that I am insensitive and that my tolerance level is extremely short. The chick has been emailing me today and I told her not to worry about it that I just wont go out with her anymore. So in my opinion, problem is solved.
As for the first chick... she wasn't drunk off her ass... She was just a little tipsy... and when she gets like that she is bull-headed and wants to do her own thing. My boy that called me wondering why I left her was because they were closing the spot down and she was still sitting there and blatantly drunk by that time I guess...
She text me when she got back uptown so I knew she was alright.
Maybe I should have explained all that in the post... but I was just straight heated at the time and had to get it all out.
I think you were DEAD RIGHT!! I mean we all grown here and you gave all an ample opp to get on board, and still foolishness.
I say GAW's (grown azz women) walk away from foolishness at every turn.And as a GAW you were well with in welll with in line!!
-OG
Cant blame you for growing up but cant blame them for being younger.
Girl 1 No you were not wrong. Who the heck wants to stay out all the damn night long...NOT I. I have left many a girlfriend/ once my sister in the club. When I am tipsy and want to go, it so I can get home to my man before my head gets to spinning HAHAHA
HAHA at girls in #2 You are not allowed to hang out with them anymore. hanging at the front of the gate looking for numbers HAHA
I'm going to call girls thirsty from now on.
Hey Hun!
You know I'm up there too girl currently apart of the sexy 6 club (26 yrs old) And I feel ya. I don't like to hang around anybody who wants to stay until the damn lights are turned on. Now one of my girlfriends we can give each other that look at the same time and know it's time to roll. She and maybe one other is the only ones I can roll with in the same car. That gives all the others to leave at their descretion...so you were not wrong for leaving her somewhere she felt like she wanted to be. It's her responsibility to drink responsibly.
You're right you getting OOOOOLD...lol...
Travel with like minded individuals Eb...That's why when I used to go out I always drove...
wow @ getting numbers
you werent wrong. i would have done the same
U were sooo not wrong. Yes , even if it is a cardinal rule never to leave a home girl, espc if she's drunk... if that hommie says she's cool then by all means "roll bounce".
I'm 24 and could care less if some nuckle head hollas or not. It is nice if someone aknowledges my beauty... but... hell no to me waiting specifically for that reason. You did the right thing hun :)
I read this the other day and didn't have time to leave a comment...that ish is FUNNY as hell!! You might just be too grown and sexy for 'em chica!! Hahaha
you weren't wrong at all. Sometimes as we get older we realize that the same things that we liked to pull in our early 20's isn't what we want in our late 20's and early 30's. These young girls like the attention that they get when they're drunk. And I would have left her ass there too.
With your other 2 friends, who were thirsty for some cat calls by guys they are horrible, because I know that if they did stay out there and dudes had tried to press them they would've not even spoken to them. Some women just need to get attention from men to feel validated. And since they didn't get any that night their ego's were hurt.
Eb, keep it funky. Do not hold your tongue with these young women. Set them straight. And have fun, and if they can't understand that then its ok. They will.
you weren't wrong
hanging around like a groupie = not cute
isn't it nice to grow up and know what you want to do with your free time?
Yeah let them wait for their dream man.
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