Lame N:gga Factory
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RBW Perspective
"So I went hard like Madusa staring at me
I told her let's go, let's blow this lame nigga factory"
-Andre 3000 ("Green Light" - John Legend)
So in the club, what makes a guy part of the lame n:gga factory?
Here is my top 10 list in no particular order (although I couldn't think of a 9 and 10 so I need my wonderful readers to give me your 9 and 10 in the comments to make the list complete)
1. When you give me your number...and make me call you right then. If that ain't the lamest thing ever. If I took your number... then I don't really want you to have mine.
2. When you pull out a wad of cash at the bar. Do you think that is impressing me? Its not... makes me wonder if you even have a bank account because who in their right mind carries around that much cash... and if you are, why do you have to pull it ALL out just to get a corona that you know is only $6.00.
3. When you take your shirt off. I don't care how buff you are or how hot it is in there. Do not walk around the club bare chested like we're on the beach. Especially if you have taco meat chest hair.
4. Trying to dance in the middle of me and my girls. If there is a girl's anthem on like say Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied" just because all the women in the club got up to dance does NOT mean they want to dance with you. We want to dance with our girls, so STOP getting in the middle of our circle and messing up our groove.
5. Just because you bought us a drink does NOT mean that you own us for the rest of the night and that we are your "in the club girlfriend" for the night. Do NOT follow me and my girls around the rest of the night. Make conversation, maybe even exchange info if there is chemistry, but do NOT smother us.
6. Don't try to have a real long "get to know me" session in the club. I mean we're in the club... 9 times out of 10 I can't really hear what the heck your saying anyway...
7. Do NOT repeatedly ask us what we are doing after the club. Most likely we are going home alone. If we say we are tired... don't ask us if we want to go to breakfast. When we say we are tired, that means we don't want to be bothered with you, because if its a guy we are feeling, no matter how tired we are, we are going to breakfast.
8. Thirstyness... if you are walking around the club, grabbing every chick that walks by you, hoping one will actually stop and talk to you... you are the king of the lame n:gga factory. I can't stand that mess. I just saw you try to grab 3 chicks before I walked by so why the hell do you think I am going to stop and talk to you.
9.... comment
10.....comment
PS - I don't want to speak for every woman, but I don't go to the club looking for a new boo. I go to the club to spend time with my homies or home girls, have a couple drinks, listen to good music, and if its an industry party then maybe to network, but that is all. So stop being extra and just chill when you go to the club.
Oh and this is a partner post that I did with my blog boo Mr. Socialight.
So check out his lame broad factory list.
I told her let's go, let's blow this lame nigga factory"
-Andre 3000 ("Green Light" - John Legend)
So in the club, what makes a guy part of the lame n:gga factory?Here is my top 10 list in no particular order (although I couldn't think of a 9 and 10 so I need my wonderful readers to give me your 9 and 10 in the comments to make the list complete)
1. When you give me your number...and make me call you right then. If that ain't the lamest thing ever. If I took your number... then I don't really want you to have mine.
2. When you pull out a wad of cash at the bar. Do you think that is impressing me? Its not... makes me wonder if you even have a bank account because who in their right mind carries around that much cash... and if you are, why do you have to pull it ALL out just to get a corona that you know is only $6.00.
3. When you take your shirt off. I don't care how buff you are or how hot it is in there. Do not walk around the club bare chested like we're on the beach. Especially if you have taco meat chest hair.
4. Trying to dance in the middle of me and my girls. If there is a girl's anthem on like say Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied" just because all the women in the club got up to dance does NOT mean they want to dance with you. We want to dance with our girls, so STOP getting in the middle of our circle and messing up our groove.
5. Just because you bought us a drink does NOT mean that you own us for the rest of the night and that we are your "in the club girlfriend" for the night. Do NOT follow me and my girls around the rest of the night. Make conversation, maybe even exchange info if there is chemistry, but do NOT smother us.
6. Don't try to have a real long "get to know me" session in the club. I mean we're in the club... 9 times out of 10 I can't really hear what the heck your saying anyway...
7. Do NOT repeatedly ask us what we are doing after the club. Most likely we are going home alone. If we say we are tired... don't ask us if we want to go to breakfast. When we say we are tired, that means we don't want to be bothered with you, because if its a guy we are feeling, no matter how tired we are, we are going to breakfast.
8. Thirstyness... if you are walking around the club, grabbing every chick that walks by you, hoping one will actually stop and talk to you... you are the king of the lame n:gga factory. I can't stand that mess. I just saw you try to grab 3 chicks before I walked by so why the hell do you think I am going to stop and talk to you.
9.... comment
10.....comment
PS - I don't want to speak for every woman, but I don't go to the club looking for a new boo. I go to the club to spend time with my homies or home girls, have a couple drinks, listen to good music, and if its an industry party then maybe to network, but that is all. So stop being extra and just chill when you go to the club.
Oh and this is a partner post that I did with my blog boo Mr. Socialight.
So check out his lame broad factory list.
58 comments
You hit the nail on the head. i'm watching my back 24 hours after the club..because of the lame I thought was going to follow me home. Damn!
Maybe next time I don't need to back it ALL the way up.. I'm jus sayin'
lol. Tight!
I guess Lame Niggas should take heed.
But, i feel you. Don't go to the club looking for a boo. We're all in the club for different reasons, and the chances of meeting someone you'd do more than fcuk is less than likely.
peace.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
i hella agree with all of this!!!
dont have me call your phone so u can get my number.....cuz if i give u the wrong number I WILL BE OUTTA LINE.....
i usually jus say sorry i dont give my number out at the club...everyone is drunk and after a couple drinks....everyone looks good!!! lol
haha.. wow. pretty much said it for all the lames to take note... and no, if i had the money in my pocket, i think a respectable credit card will do, not the one with goofy on the front. lol
PERFECT BLOG!!
How about dudes wearing sunglasses in the club. YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T SEE!!!! Just stop the madness. LOL
yes yes yes yes yes... good one Kryssy... ugh I hate that mess!
Kryssy and I are on the same page. Both men and women do that mess in the clubs here...please for the love of God tell me why you got your 'stunna shades' on in a dark ass club...GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hmm...another is those who dance and/or rap in the mirrored walls of the club. I can't tell you how many men I see giving their own rap concert at the club. Let Jeezy, TI, Ludacris, Lil Wayne, or whomever do their job...we don't need to see your version of it too.
LMAO! Girl these are some good ones. Also I loved Andre's part in that song.
u r 2 funneee li'l Blog-Sis!
LMAO! Yeah sounds lame to me.
@mzinspired - lmao @ "own rap concert"
1. Aww man..I exchange numbers in the club...am I a lame ass nigga?!?
8. I mean if you saw a dude pull another chick in front of you, y'all are in the club..I mean everybody is fair game... But if a dude keeps getting shot down, he better re-think his strategy!
Glasses in the club, they just make everything look cooler, yeah it's hella dark and you really can't see, plus combined with the alcohol it's like "ray charles time" but so what? Corey Hart made it cool!
How about tryin to holla at me while I'm waiting to buy my drink. Uh if you wanted any type of real attention wouldn't you offer to buy it.
These are hilarious. I hadn't been out in a minute, but went to celebrate my girl's birthday a month ago. I had a guy come up to me to tell me how much his feet hurt. Uh don't I wear the high heels? What's up with your old man feet.
Good ones! #1 happen to me..twice..Friday night. One dude kept finding me saying "you still haven't called me yet". I'm like I know negro.
I can't stand dudes dancing up behind me while I'm enjoying dancing by myself.
Dudes in zoot suits.
Maybe that's just these country dudes in Arkansas.
You are really lame if you are a dude and you are pop, lock, & dropping it. I hate to see a grown azz man crumping and doing the soulja boy.
Good List. Off to check out the female list.
I co-sign on Kryssy: please take those fake Prada "stunna shades" off before you trip and fall. You know how dirty Club Miami's floors are.
Also, PLEASE hold your liquor. If not, 1 of 2 things will happen: you'll be the guy who starts a fight and gets the joint shut down early, or you'll be the annoying d-bag who gets all up in girls' faces fake rapping/being gross.
Fun times at the club..
I so heart you for this blog. 6, 7, and 8 all happened the last time we were out.
Here's another...when you AND your boys all try to holla. WTF...you auditioning for an episode of Gangbang Bros?!...I'm good. Chances are, if I don't like you, I'm not feeling your boys either. Fall back. Thanks;)
@Andre - I did not say exchanging numbers in the club was lame... its all on the approach and the energy... it shouldnt be forced... it should be organic
and everybody is NOT fair game for you to be grabbing and groping because you are in the club... are you serious... wise men... scope the land... wait until an hour or 90minutes before the club ends and then go in on the ONE chick that they have been eyeing all night
again... STOP being so thirsty
@Southern Gal - why that just happened to me too... that's why it was #1... I couldnt even duck him either because he was security so when I was leaving he was like you never called my phone... he made me stand right there and wouldnt let me leave until I called him right then... I was like damn dude why did you not get the hint... and why are you so pressed... so not cute
and I dont even want to know what a "Zoot suit" is... lmao!
Another one: you are also really lame when you and your "goons" are posted in the middle of the dance floor smoking and mean-mugging, not moving for anything and generally taking up space just so that you can smoke and mean-mug. Just stop. And get the hell out of the way, damn!
@lucky - yes yes yes... I cant stand dudes that be posted up and in the way... hold up the wall dont hold up the middle of the dance floor... and I'm so glad I live in NYC... you cant smoke in the spots up here...even though you had the random weed smoker trying to blaze they usually nip that in the bud quick
Corona's are six dollars in NYC????
Damn!! I think I'll stop complaining about them being $4.00
here and only $3.00 during Happy Hour!
I saw a guy just walk up to a girl,
flip out his cell phone and simply say- "Digits slimmy" He wanted her to put her number in HIS cell phone. Is that how yall roll now of days??? SMH and LMAO.
This was funny...but sooooo true.
I will say that # 4 can be confusing. I mean...if you get on the dance floor with your girls...some dude is gonna dance with you...because you are on the dance floor! LoL
btw...dudes with shades on in the club...that's sooo lame
LMAO!!!!! Good post Eb, you touched on everything that GETS ON MY NERVES @ the club.
& don't try test me to see if I remember your name (cuz I probably wasn't even paying attention to the ENTIRE convo)& a "pull at the waist" is NOT an invite to dance!
I'm so glad the sunglasses in the club were pointed out. that is SO LAME
I have to add to the thirsty dudes: If I tell you I am married, please don't ask "well can't you have friends" Sure but you are not one. POOF BE GONE. This happens to me at the bar all the time when I go out with my colleagues.
@ Smarty - OMG.. my stomach hurts.. I am over here dying laughing... whew... girl that was funny as hell and oh so true
@f it - yeah I used to swap my ring and say I was engaged and that didn't work... i always heard the "well you aint married yet" thanks for letting me know that being married still doesnt fend off the thirsty dudes
hahaha, great post! SO on point...lovin the new profile pic too. you look purdy in blue.
cosign!
i'm the exact same way. when i go to the club, i'm not there to meet dudes. i'm there to have fun with my girls and go home.
I'm gonna have to add...looking behind my back and talking to my ASS instead of to my FACE then asking me for my number. Seriously dude?
ok, i haven't been here in a while... but can i just say i'm DEAD at this post and the comments.
lmao @ smarty and the doo doo mints. seriously.
1,2,4, and 6 all happened to me this past friday. just reminded me why i don't go clubbing.
good post.
LMAO AT this post
This goes with #5 or 6 I think.
The monogomous Dancer. The one dude you "lucked up" enough to dance with who deosn't want to let you go and dances with you for 3 songs. You tell him you're tired or you're going to get a drink and when you hit the dance floor again. He finds you.
WTF Ladies get in free so I know there are a billion other chicks in there.
The freak a leek-
you dance with him and then he hoists you up in the air and starts licking the crotch of your jeans (I know I'm not the only one this has happened to)
Mr. Wandering Hands
you dance with him and apparently that gave him the okay to put his hands everywhere but your hips. When you put your hands on my butt and I move them why would you think its okay for you to put your hands on my breast or my Delilah?
LMAO @ the list and the comments. Last weekend I was out with the girls and dude was like "Next drink is on yall. I see yall are independent women, so it's your turn to buy a n!gga a drink". Umm, no boo. r and you're not done drinking?
lol...gurl...wonder this all universal..I just might mention this on my blog sometime later on coz this is just spot on...lmao...Number 1,5, and 8 were in the club on Friday...
Numba 1! Numba1! That's it right there -- hated it! (when I was single..lol) calm me right now...don't try and outsmart me! Shoooot...lol
@bloggal - thx girlie
@muze - welcome back, smarty had me almost crying last night when I read that... and you probably had the worst ones all in one night... that's a shame
@just jasmine - OMG... all on point... if you are past college age... no one should be lifted up in the air in the club... so plz stop the madness and yeah I cant stand the dude that wants to dance with you off every song in a row for the rest of the nigh... ugh
@tasha - that dude would have got the crazy side eye and step the hell back plz... what? why don't they think before they open their mouth, that is NOT cute
@shonavixen - I want to know why dudes think that #1 is going to give them any more of a chance to chill with us than if they just gave us their number. We're just going to send them to the voicemail the first 2 weeks their calling us until they get the picture. Why ol' boy that did that to me last week gave me the okey doke and called me from his work number... i answered the phone and he got me... I was like, uummm... I'm about to get in the shower can I call you back...hahahaahahhahaha.
Ima say just because you bought me a drink earlier dont mad dog the next man when Im dancing with him on the dance floor.
UGH and just because you think Im tipsy and I stare in your eyes dont mean Im in a daze and you can try and kiss me. NO Im drunk dammit not desperate
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaahahhaa! #1 is about ol boy from Thursday night! Him and his GRILL! Funny!
lmao @ poca - you wild
@shelly shell - trust that wasn't the first time that has happened to me but it was definitely first because it was fresh on my mind from that night...lol
#9 When he constantly rolls through the club scene a thousand damn times, just to get some scalawags to notice his rented chrome shoes and overpriced paint job.
#10 Old man Uncle Pookie, who throws on his bested suit and gators just to throw inappropriate advances at you all night, while stepping all over ur toes during the Go Hard or Go Home Dance.
LMAO!!! "5. Just because you bought us a drink does NOT mean that you own us for the rest of the night and that we are your "in the club girlfriend" for the night. Do NOT follow me and my girls around the rest of the night. Make conversation, maybe even exchange info if there is chemistry, but do NOT smother us."
HOLLA!!! feelin and luvin this one..and i ain't even no big drinker of alcohal...so you may be buying me a soda...DON"T DO IT FELLAS!!! LOL
lmao! this list is too much! but soooo true!
don't get others involved in your bm/bd drama! if you know your bm is in the club and she'll act a ass, don't get others involved!
girl you are too funny.. this list is on point! and the flip side of #1.. i HATE it when i give a guy at the club my number and he CALLS my phone right there! just to make sure i ain't giving him the wrong number! what the hell.. at least wait until i walk away to do that shit so you don't look like a damn loser.
and i can't stand dudes that grab at you when you walk by.. it's unnecessary and rude. and i can't STAND dudes that don't understand the concept of PERSONAL SPACE.. i had dudes all up in my face, and when i'd take a step back, they'd take 2 steps forward.. it's like dude, back the fuck up.
oh yeah, and what about those dudes who just come up to you while you're dancing and start to dance with you except their definition of dancing is thrusting their penis all up in your back like ya'll fuckin'.. makes me wanna turn around and knee him.
Hilarious, and true. I call behavior number 5, "Drink Slavery"
http://www.king-mag.com/online/?p=2283
LOL
@creativek - I remember your #9 from back in the day when I was in NC... but that rarely happens in NY... police dont let cars just sit in front of the club and there are no parking lots but that brought back some memories
@Sexxy Luv - I know that's right... only hollering at you so and grinding on you because they know they ex-girl is watching and they purposely want to make her jealous causing unnecessary drama
@miss foxxy - all good points...lol
@leon- look at you superstar writing for Kingmag.com
I just read the article and you were so on point... if the only line you have is can I buy you a drink... then that's your own fault!
lol this list is so true!I have to agree with #8 and #4. If I am dancing with my girls and continue to back away from you why do you keep making your way behind me?
Sister,
I am roo old to hang out over here. A club...omg I have not been in a club in a hundred years. Oh this post is for you, the young and beautiful! LOL!
You are a smart cookie!
LMMFAoooooooo. I'm so DEAD off this shyt right here!
ok, i know i'm no spring chicken, but you old azz men gots to get out of the club, i mean you looking like my grandpa hollering at me, waving your tongue like i'm interested, but hell, i aint' gonna lie you can buy me a drink all night.
How about niggaz in their Sunday suits, dayum get a new suit if you gonna be out every week, or at least the week i'm going.
How about the bruhs who ain't said shit all night, but when you leaving they trying to holla...whateva!
How about that dude with no teeth..., my bruh cracked on a man like that once trying to talk to me...told him..."hey nigga you need to get two more teeth to talk my sista." yeah it was wrong but funny as hell!
funny, but sadly true!
this blog is so on point, lol! all i can say is ditto, ditto, ditto!!
Ha! Ya know!
9. If my feet are not touching the ground while we are dancing then YOU are holding me too damn tight and doing TOO got damn much!!
10. Please don't ever tell me or any other woman in the club that I/she is the type of woman that you could take home to your kids. WTF??
I hate a broke nigga in the club. Don't approach me, try to carry on a conversation in the LOUD, NOISY club, but can't buy me a cocktail to enjoy as you attempt to converse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not THIRSTY, or a gold digger or anything of the sort, but I do think it's courteous to buy the young lady you are trying to "chat up" a cocktail, damn....and truthfully, preferably, you can keep it moving after that!
Also, I'm feeling Bam, don't touch my hair, or ME for that matter. Why you need to be touchy/feely. I don't need it!
This list was on point...so much wackness out here.
Sad thing is it don't change!! LOL I like to quote TI when I walk in a club of lames, I got real nicca vision and I ain't seei NONE of you!
Girl I can't even give you 9 or 10 because I am still laughing at the memories 1-8 bring up for me.
The crazy thing is I met TOM A in an after hours joint a little texas hole in the wall kinda place. Its funny sometimes when you ain't looking. However on GP I normally view men in the club as defective. I know WRONG cause I'm there but I ain't there looking for no man, I'm looking for a dance. Ok enough of my business.
-OG
i didn't read the responses.. so excuse me if this is a repeat...
9. Breath Alert - I already got a perm.. no need for extra heat up on my shit!
10. While dancin... no sound effects plz. it's just a dance, and because of your verbal outburst, that's all it'll ever be
"taco meat chest hair" that about sums it up for me...hilarious!
9.) I'm in the club hanging out with my straight pals and having a good time. The lameness comes into play when you tell a dude you're a lesbian and you're SERIOUS about it, and he replies with "so am I shawty lets make this happen. My girl down wit it too" - LAME NIGGA FACTORY!!
@ness - omg how did I forget about that jumping in the pics mess... that is the absolute worst
lmao @ all of yours mizrep...stop going to them clubs full of grandpas
@Ms Bar B - yeah if we are older than college age... none of that picking me up and poppin in the air mess
@OG - you aint wrong at all... you said it... we're not there looking for a man
@she word hustlez - yeah that is lame as hell... but they prolly get chicks lying to them about it all the time so they play it up... I know I have acted like me and my homegirl were a couple to get dudes to leave us alone...lol
9. U walk in the club, some random (usually ugly) guy grabs your wrist to try to force you to stop-and-talk and right after you yank back your wrist, he yells, "stupid bitch! you arent that cute anyway!"
haha.
10. I HATE it when I agree to dance with a guy, and then he turns it into a full-out 4-play session on the dancefloor... tries to grab your booti, bend you over, play in your hair. UGH!!!!!
Man, I haven't been in the club in years lol. Guess some things just will not change.
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