NO BF, just a SUMMER LOVE
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RBW Relationship Talk
After getting all the responses from yesterday's post (and I thank everyone dearly who commented) because every last one of them made me realize something within myself. I don't want a boyfriend, but I do want a main dude. Someone who I have a great time with, who makes me laugh, who wines and dines on occasion, so that I think of him more than a cut buddy , but just in case I am out and about and want to engage another, its not really considered cheating because main dude isn't my BF. I mean its the summer so I am not trying to be limited when there are more options floating around then in the winter months. I look at it as the time of year to get to know someone so you can make it official by the fall. I had to be honest with myself and realize that I want Semipro to be that main dude... and even deep down in the pit of my stomach where I hide my true feelings about a situation, if all goes well this summer while he's back in NYC, in say October, I can see me wanting him to be the BF. This whole situation makes me think of this Teedra Moses song Summer Love.
The hook goes:
It don't have to last til winter
I just want a summer love to remember
Whenever the sun shines I'll just think of my
Sweet...Summer love
I really really want a summer love...have cute little dates, dinners outside, a consistent spades partner at the many cook-outs I will be attending this summer, someone to cuddle with to warm me up when I am too lazy to get up and turn the A/C down... a summer love! Is that to much to ask... damn!
I got a feeling ish is about to get real confusing. Remember dude from back home that came to visit back in march or april and it wasn't good. Well ever since that instance, when I felt I was outgrowing him, he has been trying to get closer. Calling me once a week, and for him that's a lot, he one of them thuggish dudes that don't ever show feelings. Texting me he misses me, and all this mess that I ain't use to at all from him. I'm going home this weekend for my nephews first birthday and I know he gon be trying to chill but I don't really want to. When I talked to him last week he was talking about moving down to the city and all this other mess. I in no way shape or form ever want anything to develop between us. He's a hood dude, has a couple kids, I just ain't with all that. We will be friends for life though... we go way back.
Then my on and off main cut buddy is trying to hang more than usual. Coming over just to chill and watch the game, during the NBA finals, not even wanting no booty. Weird! We have been on and off cut buddies since 2004. We had little stints in between where I had a BF or he had a GF but when either relationship fell apart we were right back doing what it do. He's a catch, cutie pie in a helluva lot of ways, investment banker, many of chicks would want him. Funny, I don't...but it is weird having him reach out to me more than usual. Maybe if Semipro don't act right I can make him my summer love. We have done things outside the bedroom a couple times. Movies, paintball, bowling, and he has a motorcycle (this takes an ugly dude to super sexy for me in the matter of seconds), among other things, so we do have a good time together, but I just don't see us together. Never even thought about us ever being more. He's coming over tonight though...lol...to wish me safe travels home tomorrow...lol.
I got a feeling this is going to be an interesting summer. Taking applications for my summer love for the next 2 weeks and will be hiring a candidate by mid-July.
46 comments
I'd love to see what's on the application, that would prove to be mighty interesting. It takes maturity for seasonal romances, so be sure to get a guy who can handle situation being what it's going to be.
*makes mental note to save up for a Harley* :)
ha. you are crazy! i'm jealous you have options though... :(
I think that's cool tho. It's good you know what you want. Do you think Semi-pro will be down with it??
yes yes yessssss! that is my exact relationship with the guy i talk to!! we go out to dinner, for drinks, watch movies... but it's a mutual understanding that we dont have a title! i HATE titles!! and if eventually we become bf/gf then so be it, if not aint not thang!
thats why everyone is single during the summer... too much skin! hahah! and in the winter ppl get wifed b/c it's cold and u want someone to cuddle with, etc!
ps. I LOVE ME SOME TEEDRA!!! lol
good post
At least you're being honest about your feelings. I have a question for you...what happens if Semipro wants to be serious? What will you do? What if he wants to be more than a summer love?
@Chris - Not harleys... i like the smaller bikes...like suzuki's
@brianna - jump off options are nothing to brag about or how to get..lol; now if I had a couple dudes proposing then I would consider that options
@kitty - I have no idea... he pisses me off because I cant figure him out
@ kyle - why you all trying to be all up in my biz... I have no idea what I would do if he said something about serious today... let me answer that again after he's been back in NY for a while...
So why is is that you don't want cut buddy? I only ask because I have found myself in a similar situation...and once I stopped back and stopped over thinking things...I realized I had a good thing right in front of me.
But yeah it seems like they all want to come out of the woodworks at once.
But...gon'gon, do yo thang!
Well you know what you want....and that's a good thing...so good luck on reviewing your applications for summer love....I hope the perfect candidate for you and your desires applies for the JOB!!!
lol.. I think everyone is in heat. It must be mating season... lmao
I'm bad at getting rid of dudes...last one went like this...
"I want to see you."
"Last time we had sex was horrible, something was off, days of us being cool...you tryna force it. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"It wasn't horrible!"
"No, it really was wack."
"Can i try and make it up to you?"
"No, it's like eatting one of those jelly-bellies, sometimes you get watermelon and it makes your mouth water...other times you get popcorn and it's the wackest shit you've ever tasted...makes you not want no more jelly-bellies. So now you only eat Mike n Ikes."
"Fuck Mike & Ike...and you too Bloop."
"Naw, not fuck me...you did that already and that's why I'm back with Mike & Ike."
See...I'm not good with speaking...so my advice is...dodge those cats you don't wanna get with. Dodge 'em!
LMAO
Being boo'd up in NY during the summer??? I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's summer...in NY...and only one guy?
*you know you can't listen to me*
GOOD LUCK WITH THE APPLICATIONS> Let me know if you need help sifting through them. You've been Tagged!
Sound like a plan to me!
I just had a convo with a friend of mine about summer loves so this post was right on time! You know what you want and have a plan to attain it...go get it girl lol
@ blah blah blah
LOL
girl...i am so repulsed by the idea of a relationship right now i don't know what to do with myself lol
it is too dang hot to be all up under ME!!!! moooveeeee!!
@Keli - cut buddy is a catch but IDK... I guess I am just used to our situation... we have fun... and we are friends... ish changes when you put a label on something... and I like the way things are between us right now, but I am not opposed to that developing into something maybe next year...lol but definitely not anytime soon.
@blah blah blah - you are hella crazy...lol... and I don't want to be boo'd up... I just want to have the feeling up being boo'd up but still being able to do me. So I guess yes i want my cake and want to eat it too.
@fabvixen- you know i dont play that tagging mess... let me go over there and see what you got poppin... it betta be a good one and not one of those stupid tedious ones because I will boycott...lol
girl i feel u on the summer luv thang only that's what i want year round but neva realized it until recently. i can't do relationships...can't compromise for too long.....can't have someone compromise 4 me 4 too long b4 i feel trapped n ready to bolt. and they called u crazy!!! shiieeet....how about tryin on my shoes for a day or two!! lmao
good luck with those apps!!
I'm with Homer, it's the heat!
I *just* got an email from someone I had already written off, talking 'bout "What you got going on Friday" What the hell? Where'd you crawl out from?
The mean, jaded me wanted to write LIVING MY LIFE AND MINDING MY BIZNIZ, but I'm trying to be a kinder, gentler version of me LOL
good luck with applications, girl. I'll be over here waiting for the updates.
Sooo...no bf, just a main dude. That sounds cool. U do u ma! I better not hear about u bein caught up in some twisted love triangle either. Mkay?
lmbao at jaded ny and Blah
whats the pay folk
Eb, i'm feeling that summer love or just plain ole forever love bout right now...whichever comes first!
Aaahhh yes...summer loves. That is the best. Good luck with that girl. You are going to have a fabulous summer.
I don't know Eb...the more you mention Semi pro and wanting a main dude (yet not a boy friend you say), the more it sounds to me like you just don't want to say you might possibly maaaaaaaybe could want more with Semi-pro.
Summer loves are cute when you're still in high school and even in college, but after that...love becomes more real or at least it should be.
@ Darius - Mkay...lol
@OD - Damn.. damn.. damn... OK... maaayyybbbbeee just a lil bit I want him to be the boo... but I cant really say because we havent been in the same city the past couple months... So when he's back next week , I am going to give it time... see if we still click with the conveniency of being able to see each other whenever we want... and if chemistry is still there... I wont be afraid to put myself out there to see if it can develop into something...Gosh OD... got me up here telling all my biz!
Hey that's exactly what you need. I have been in a pseudo-relationship for years now and I just now am to the point I think I love him, ok I love him and he me, but being together just ain't an option for me. I don't do LD and while I'm here working in the B its LD.
Anyway do you! As long as you stay true to you! You're always good!!
-OG
I guess I'm the other way around...I have a relationship, and lovin every minute of it...
awww the summer love! I remember those days! Hope you find one soon!
summer loves are wonderful as beginnings with no history.
but it seems like u and semipro already have your foot in the door and the no-strings-attached summer love may be out of the question. i think deep down u want a lil more but ur in denial. ur testosterone from your dude dating habits is clouding your better judgment hunny. lol.
LOL. Well it sounds like a good summer plan.
LOL summer loves are cool but what happens when its over? I think you should try to find a guy who can be with you for all the seasons but then again what do I know lol
@ms. uncensored... not in denial at all just being cautious with my feelings... we havent been in the same city for the past 6 months... so its going to take us really chilling for me to be certain or uncertain where I want to take it with him
Cut buddies may keep your life interesting and quite pleasing, but be careful that you do not miss the one who can fulfill all your needs.
okay im done!... where do u turn apps. in?...
do we turn it in in person?
Summer loves are good but I'm sure they are still as complicated.
hey pretty young thang
big ups 2 u for admitting that u really like semipro.
im pullin' for him eb
can't wait til yall (potentially) make it official in the fall.
here's to summer love
*cyber cheers*
-1-
Long as you and dude understand the rules... I don't see what the problem would be! Enjoy chile! Life is tooo short!!!!
Yah know what I think you need to keep me and Blah on speed dial..Well maybe Blah cause she's the closest to you...Somebody about to get herself in a whole heap a trouble...lol...Eb I guarantee you will be thoroughly confused before summer even ends...lol..Because two out of the 3 guys you've mentioned will Step their game up. Watcha ya gonna do if that happens...
I totally hear this. I don't want a relationship but I want that person to go out on little dates and stuff.
Long as I have my personal space and he respects that, I'm good with him. Vice versa.
Do what you do.
You so right about the motorcycle. I personally have a thing for jerseys. :)
You're right about an dude going from ugly (or different as I like to call them) to cute in a matter of seconds just from riding a motorcycle. A dude and I were making mad eye contact the other night while at a stop light. He looked real nice on that bike but I bet the moment he stepped of SHM...
Ain't nothing wrong with a summer love. Hopefully too many feelings don't develop though.
Have fun with the nephew=)
@G-Sweet - you dont have to apply...if you want the gig then the position is filled...lol
@ -1- yeah I finally had to compare and contrast how I treat him versus how I treat the others and there is a huge difference...but I'm playing it cool for now
@Slish - can we do lunch when my break down happens... so you can tell me you told me so and you can direct me on how to fix everything... because I am already confused...lol... and I wanna know which 2 of the 3 you feel will step their game up...
Semi-Pro and the Corporate dude..The writing is on the wall...You had a heart to heart with Semi pro and the corporate dude spending time without any CUTTY action! Man! I wish I could be a fly on your wall...lol
Is there such a thing as a dude between cut buddy and boyfriend? No I dont believe that. That is just wishful thinking.
@Clnmike - listen to mario's song No definition... it explains it all... from a male perspective... since you cant feel it from the female perspective in Summer Love
thats exactly what i need...someone to hang out with and get giddy over when their name shows up on my caller ID.
-KB
Girl, you are crazy! lol. at least u know what u want. can't wait to see how the summer works out. don't get caught up though--love comes when u least expect it.
Interesting. I say just let it flow. Don't force anything or overlook anything either and let what's meant to be happen. But you know what you want and need so good luck to you!
BTW- I was just in New York this past weekend- every time I go I have a great time and I swear NY has some of the best guys so I know you'll be having fun "reviewing" applications! LOL
GIRL!!! I feel you!! I feel the same way.
but at least you have options =( the dude whose "application" looks right for me has a GF lmaoo
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